SSDD

Hi, I forgot I had a blog!

Dear Diary,

So lots of things have happened since I last wrote to you. Summer ended, fall came, and I am happy to report that the District of Columbia continues to churn out commuters full of ennui, politicians full of shit, and tourists in fanny packs and white socks. On the other hand, I am also happy to report that one can drop a diamond ring on the mall and come back 1.5 hours later and a passerby will pick it up and return it to you (see: My sister, Saturday during peak Tea Bagging protest/tourist wandering). So dreams do come true, Timmy, you just gotta have faith!

What else? As witnessed by my tweets, I attended a football game in Baltimore which was awesome hello even if you don't like football you would have liked to have been tailgating with our "crew" as we had a decent place to eat/drink/hang out/walk to game/watch game/return to car/eat/hang out while one crew member was That Girl Who Throws Up. All in all, a good time. That Girl and I will also be attending the Chiefs/Redskins game in Oct and we have collectively decided that cherry jello shots will not be a part of that event. Lesson learned.

Other things: I will be traveling for the next 1.5 weeks, first to Chicago (which holla I love) and second to California (which I am sort of meh about, but whatever). Both are work trips but I shall be incorporating some 'me time' into the agenda and since I will be in CA for a week, I will attempt to get to the beach this time. This is all presuming that place doesn't burn up or fall off, we are good.

Aside: I had to interview people all day for jobs and here is my advice to the youth of this country: Practice talking in front of a mirror prior to interview and pinch yourself every time you say "um", "like", "you know", and give yourself a double dose when you end a statement with a question mark? Because people who want to take you seriously as a professional? And maybe give you a chance are kind of turned off by that? Because it's annoying? Ah well, we're all trying to get along in this gdamn world so I understand that it's hard out there for a pee eye em pee but you know, this city is ruthless and you gotta convince people you know what you're talking about even when you don't. That is how 3/4 of all fed workers got their jobs, trust.

Alright, diary, I am done with you except to finally say that we both mourn our high school innocence with the passing of Patrick Swayze given that some of us went to see Dirty Dancing like, um five times in a row? Because, you know, all your friends wanted to go and watch the log scene again? Ah youth..

I make such a good statistic

Oh man. So you know, it's been about 10 years since I last went to an Ani Difranco show. In dog years, that's like how old someone's grandma might be. Now some people I know/love dislike her, saying her voice is too affected and schticky. Other people I know think she's too not cool old skool like the Indigo Girls or Janis Ian or Chris Williamson or the 1800's lesbicon equivalent, whoever that is. And finally other peeps I know still dig her like I do. I say whatever floats or does not float a boat. So tonight when I saw her and her current band (including a very good/cute girl drummer which, hello, who doesn't love a girl drummer, I know I'm completely and totally in love with a much better and much cuter girl drummer so I'm not one to throw a stone), I had myself a nice time.

She played in Baltimore (one more parenthetical and I'm done here, but let me just say that Baltimore will forever/always hold a special place in my heart) at the Meyerhoff Hall (ok, not quite done but man, the ushers there are some serious hardasses about picture taking..I didn't bring my camera luckily b/c they were swooping in and snatching ppl left/right for minor infractions..the friend I went with was afraid to text on her phone for fear of its little light being spotted and resulting in an escort out - watch your back at the Meyerhoff FYI). Now where was I?

Oh yes. Remember those dog years? At what point did Ani's target audience become old and straight? Did I miss the memo? Granted, I'm sporting some gray around the edges, but hello, it was not that long ago when an Ani show was like total young baby dykes and punk chicks and like, drugs and booze and stuff. Seriously, the crowd tonight was the same type of crowd I've seen at a taping of that NPR's show Whaddyaknow? You know? I could not get over it. Doesn't anyone smoke dope at an Ani show anymore? I saw a show of hers once in Atlanta at which the contact high I received made me question whether my face was melting. It was not. The most whacked out element of the show tonight was some drunk girl who tried to dance near the stage and who was whisked away by those ushers faster than she had a chance to even slur out Both Hands, I love you Ani, woo.

What is even my point anymore? I don't know. She played Firedoor and Dilate and If He Tries Anything which made this old fan happy enough. It don't take much, yo.

With that, I'm outta here. Flying across the country on Monday to Cal(i) where I am sure of two things: bikini - small; heels - tall. Hmm, I don't think so.

Funnel cake is the new Elephant Ear

So today since the weather was so nice and it was time to get out of the house, we went up to Baltimore for Artscape. It was quite lovely an great people watching. But you know those things always have the venders with the gyros and the italian sausage and the fried stuff. I still smell like onion and pepper just from walking by these places. What was a bonus though was beer and wine was sold liberally and could be carried about the street with abandoned. I don't know why that thrilled me, but it did. I apparently am easily impressed. Or not. Anyway.

Now, the funnel cake. Any outdoor festivally type thing you go to these days have that heart attack waiting to happen covered in powdered sugar. In case you haven't had one, it's like a beignet, but bigger and not as good. Funnel cakes are all well and good, but I will bring out the curmudgeon and ask what the heck happened to the good old elephant ear? That's what we had growing up and frankly, I find the funnel cake to be inferior. I find the funnel cake to be a poor substitute. I find the funnel cake to be woeful and lacking. Furthermore, I fart in the funnel cake's general direction. And that is all I have to say about that. Goodday!

FYI

In case this keeps you up at night, you can be reasonably assured that a box of wine can be kept for a whole month without going bad. Yes, friends, I have finally finished off my 3 liters of quality pinot grigio packaged in a plastic bladder this evening. As you know, I purchased said box shortly after I arrived in Maryland. It finally dribbled out the last drop. I'm actually surprised it took me that long to get through it, but that's one benefit of wine in a box: It's not good enough to keep you drinking it constantly, but it's there when you need it.

Speaking of drinking, I phoned my sister after she had apparently finished her own box of wine in one evening because I could not decipher a text she sent me. It was about the bridesmaid dress that I will have to wear for her wedding. Oh, I didn't tell you? Yeah..back to Hoosierland in June to wear a rose colored dress that sounded, as far as I could tell from my sister's slurred speech, sorta like the prom dress I wore in 1987. Rock on! Walk like an Egyptian! I'll probably come back from Indiana with a perm and a satin paisley blazer with stirrup pants. Good times, good times...

ps. Baltimore was lovely today.

Scrob me

Or whatever. Kids with their new technology and all. So I added a link over to the right under all that iPod business to my last.fm profile. Yes, I am joining the "social music revolution" and as such, I have stolen that sassy little beret that Jodie was wearing (holla, Ms Snarker!) and am now ready to take to the streets. The streets of boogie, that is! Get your freak on, aw yeah, lean back, etc etc. Anyway, yes. So another way to stalk, uh, scrob me? Well, do what you must, I say.

This weekend promises to be warm and sunny and for that, I am thankful. A trip up to Baltimore to wander around is in the cards and it is possible that grass will also be mowed for the first time. Maryland grass. Somewhere out west, 2.5 acres of prairie grass is mocking me. You with your tiny yard you could cut with a pair of scissors. You with your riding lawn mower you promised you'd save only for me. Cut your Maryland grass and know that I shall grow higher and taller and greener and shall smell grassier. This is what you get for leaving me, you ungrateful bitch. Mow off!

Yes, you may question my sanity and maturity (holla, Mrs!) but when grass speaks to you, I shall not judge.

Ok, that's it for this fine Friday. There may/may not be some news coming down the pipeline regarding something or other. I am cryptic for a reason so if it does not come through, your heart will not be broken, just mine and privately. See how I save you from potentially unpleasant stuff? It's all smiles and gay rainbows today so I say scrob on, dude, scrob on!