Are you waiting for a miracle?

Search Party - Wintersleep


I used to dream about saving the world
Now I just dream about the holidays
I used to write so many songs for my girl
Now I just dream about floating away


Download here: I think I need a big vacation.

Yeah, I think I need a big vacation.

Morning poem

Before the National Poetry Month is gone, here's one I like from my favorite poet, Mary Oliver.

Morning Poem

Every morning
the world
is created.
Under the orange

sticks of the sun
the heaped
ashes of the night
turn into leaves again

and fasten themselves to the high branches --
and the ponds appear
like black cloth
on which are painted islands

of summer lilies.
If it is your nature
to be happy
you will swim away along the soft trails

for hours, your imagination
alighting everywhere.
And if your spirit
carries within it

the thorn
that is heavier than lead --
if it's all you can do
to keep on trudging --

there is still
somewhere deep within you
a beast shouting that the earth
is exactly what it wanted --

each pond with its blazing lilies
is a prayer heard and answered
lavishly,
every morning,

whether or not
you have ever dared to be happy,
whether or not
you have ever dared to pray.

Is it getting heavy?

Well, a few things:

1. Coincidentally, the Flaming Lips are going to be in DC for an Earth Day show on Sunday. I would go but for two things - it's on the Mall one and two, it would be the straw that broke the camel's back if I were forced to deal with that many people at this point. I am obviously at a breaking point wrt the need for space so hello, know thyself. They are apparently streaming it online anyway so there are options.

2. As you may know, I just got back from a trip to Rochester, NY. I was there about a year ago during the lilac festival. This trip was particularly draining due to a variety of factors (e.g., the non-stop good cop/bad cop routine, two stories about what went wrong/why/who is to blame, the ten thousand drinks I had in the hotel bar afterward as a result). You know, these cities I visit are not bad places (with the exception of Fresno, sorry) so the travel has been ok in that respect. The downside is the amt of energy it takes to 'travel' and then 'work'. I am done with work travel until June so that's good. I will also stop whining and bitching on this blog soon, I promise. I am getting tired of doing that as well. No wonder I slept like 12 hours of the last 36.

3. It is hockey playoffs right now, did you know? Aber hallo, there is a whole country pinning their hopes/dreams on a favorable outcome so I think we need to show a little support to our neighbors to the north. And surprise, some of us may actually be Canadian and not know it!

4. Speaking of other good things, I have made travel plans of the actual vacation variety which makes everything all better. In three weeks, I'm going back to my favorite state with my people and I will slow down to a normal pace and I will do nothing but soak in a big sky and enough room to breathe. This will help X 100.

5. It's going to be sunny and 77 today so I am taking the dogs to the Potomac and the woods for a good walk. That will also help X 100.

That is all. Good day!

ETA: Pictures from my day, in chronological order and roughly entitled (as a set) - Snakes! Dog! Beer!:

What kind of weapons have they got?

From this moment on
Blaring like a trumpet
Coming from above us and somewhere below
The confidence of knowing
Descending to relieve us of the struggle
To believe it’s so

Was it really that bad?

So I'm traveling again. Tomorrow. I spent most of last week in Atlanta which was equal parts exhausting/familiar. I've been to Atl a bunch in the past and one of the last times I was there, I learned the very hard lesson that you cannot have your cake and eat it too. So you know, Atlanta tends to remind me of a woman, naturally. I am pretty sure we drove by where she lived, but who can remember those details anymore. My big mistake was being just a little too young to know the score. Ah well, lesson learned.

So what was my point? Traveling? Being tired? Something like that. I'm off to Oklahoma City and the cities are all starting to blend together over the past year. Friday when I got to Reagan after that never-ending week in Atl, I just could not deal with people. I still am having trouble. It's like, when you are confronted with strangers constantly, having to look at them or hear them talk, you just get overloaded by the mere fact of humanity. Or maybe that's just me. And coming back here where there are so many and except for probably about a couple dozen of those millions, I know none of them. So it's not like coming back home to someone familiar, it's constantly coming back home to a million strangers whose faces and bodies just kinda intrude, you know? Plus it's tourist season here. Plus I'm feeling existential. Plus work is stressful. And I've been sick and the headache never goes away. Plus I just miss open sky and grass. So it goes.

So Oklahoma City, be kind.

The hive