June

Where has the time gone? Fast/slow all at once it seems and another June has come along.

A few things: I have been doing lots of farm therapy, mainly on the East Side. This past weekend project was building grain bins which was awesome because hello, working with wood = something I love and also tools. Farmers market on Saturdays.

I definitely feel more and more grounded.

I have also been mowing my yard like no one's business - as you know, this is one of my favorite things + very zen. Planting flowers: morning glories and petunias and clary sage and lavender and fushia and this and that. Need to get my hands on some sunflower seeds and/or wild sunflowers for sure. I have a whole area in the front prepared and I am going to perennial the shit out that space, all wild flowers and stuff. I planted a lilac bush and want to plant a million more. The purple cone flowers that were already here are blooming now, nice and tall. Alas, the poppies I planted did not make it. Will try again next year. I am also holding out hope for the tiny nasturtiums sprouts to make it. The hollyhocks are going to be huge. I am in love with my kitchen herb garden. Two of my three butterfly bushes are growing well/blooming. The third, on a shady north side, not so much. I have plans and plans for hostas on that side. Trumpet vines (or as we called them, 'witch's fingers') all along the back with the honeysuckle. I planted some horsetail grass in a nice shady spot near the downspout. I need more peonies. Definitely not enough peonies in my yard yet. There are a few spots reserved for new trees - I am thinking honey locust or lilac trees or more redbuds or perhaps an apple/cherry/other fruit tree? Yes to all I think.

The lightning bugs are out. It's summer for sure. The light at the end of the day reminds me of home. My new one and my old.

And June.

ETA: This

indoor plumbing is for babies

Girl, you don't even want to know.

Guess things are different here out in the country

Hello to you. It's been a long week of ups and downs I have to say. Recap: Work travel travel bombshell work play work. All I can say is that I'm glad it's the weekend so I can try to up the play a little bit.

Right now, it's what, 1130pm on a Sat night and I took a little break from writing a final project report to create a quick LJ/Bird tumblr because hello why not I like to have the point and post slash handy all in one place. And clearly, I am avoiding the report writing by blog writing this very post so you know.

Good things of late since I don't want to focus on the kinda major bad thing that happened this week which will affect my life/choices in some way although I'm not sure how yet: 1) The drive to western Kansas was lovely as always, it looked a lot like this:



2) I got the word that I will continue on my consulting gig ($$) for the next year with a group of folks I really like even if it means I have to go back to that Damn City again in a few weeks on my actual birthday so I better not get stuck there again I mean it; 3) Hello the Seattle Storm won the damned WNBA championship in case you hadn't noticed; 4) Spent some quality time with my new galfriend last night out in the country on her farm and it's really nice to hang with someone again, though you know, it's still hard, but it's good too; 5) I mowed the grass today even though the humidity was 1 million but you know how much I love mowing grass which is a lot and I bought a lilac bush and an early amethyst beautyberry bush to plant in the yard not sure where yet but it makes me happy; 6) Tomorrow I will help friends build some wooden sides for their flatbed 1/2 ton truck which of course means that I will finally be getting some wood action with my tools and man I miss the heck out of that; and 7) The dogs are snoring right now and it's quiet outside and some storms kinda came though so it will be a good night for sleeping in this house that I love like no one's business.

Enough of this chitchat, I need to write words that make sense even though no one in our damn government is going to read them. Goodnight to you.

Wherein I discuss chickens etc

Oh man. So blogging and real life = not mixing of late. However that does not mean that I haven't been writing my ass off, traveling hither and yon, buying the fuck out of a house, and still soaking in life. All of which is to say that while I am happy to share such with this blogger situation, I have yet been able to find the time to do so. Until now. Which means sharing a tiny bit at 1135pmCST on a Fri night after having one of the most relaxing farm situations wherein I cooked for my friends (chicken pesto farafalle), watched the now-big chicks run around their outdoor chicken fence, walked around the fields with my dogs and friends under a big sky and no people/noise/thinking which really helped decompress I must say. So life is good. Tomorrow: Farmers market, more farm therapy, beer, friends, hard work, settling in, being me. Cannot complain. I'd write more but you know, back in the midwest means saying little, feeling lots. All in all = yay!

Only good days caught on camera

Here is the story of your life lately:


1. You Put an End to the DC Beltway Madness Once and For All Goodbye Dumb City Traffic



2. Your Big Dog Catches Air On Road West



3. You Stop Over in Your Hometown America and Drive Down Main Street



4. A Bunch of New Baby Goats Greet You



5. You Break Your Foot On Second Day Home and Still Hobble a Month Later



5a. You also worry that some foot fetish guy will find your site and wank off to your foot pix

6. You Have Breakfast Near B. Self and Take A Surreptitious Paparazzi-Style Picture



7. You Do This. A lot.



8. You Stare at a Cow and Forget You Were Ever a Part of (see #1).



9. You Are Reminded, However, That You Are Back in the Bible Belt/Red State



10. Your Dogs Remember That They Are Country Dogs and Dig Like the Old Days/Are Happy



11. You Post A Full-On Picture of Yourself to Prove That You Are Ridiculously and Midwesternly Happy Which You Will Take Down The Next Day and Replace with a Pix of a Baby Chick






The End. Until tomorrow. When the beat goes on...

Midwestern Happiness: A guide

So something good happened to me recently. Like really good. Here is the Midwestern way of dealing with happy things:

1. Downplay the possibility that the happy thing will actually happen.

2. Pretend not to care whether happy thing will happen or not - you know, whatever, it's fine, could give or take it.

3. Entertain worst case scenarios in the (assumed) event that happy thing will not happen.

4. Extreme reluctance to even talk about the possibility of the happy thing happening because talking about it will make it not happen.

5. Resign yourself to happy thing not happening, just in case it doesn't. Which it probably won't.

6. Allow yourself two minutes per day to think about happy thing happening - the other 1338 minutes must be spent not thinking about happy thing in case even thinking about it will doom it.

7. Call yourself 'cautiously optimistic' to others about the happy thing happening and know that that is even going a little too far.

8. If happy thing is mentioned in regards to it actually happening, feel extremely superstitious to the point where you always mime knocking on wood, reference wood-knocking, and/or actually locate a piece of wood to knock prior to discussing happy thing.

9. Tell only a select few about the possibility of happy thing happening so that when/if it doesn't, everyone will not know of your overwhelming disappointment in happy thing not happening and attempt to console or cheer you up when your dreams are crushed - which you hate.

10. Map out all possible reasons how, after happy thing has maybe happened, it could somehow be taken away from you.

11. Only when and if happy thing is 100% a done deal/it has actually happened and no one can take it away/sure thing should you allow yourself to dip your toe into the water of happiness. Do not go overboard.

12. Finally allow yourself to admit to being happy.

So that's how I've spent the last two months until two days ago. Yeah, so I'm happy! Exclamation point. I'm also Midwestern enough for a final point.

13. After happy thing has actually happened, give yourself a week or so before it sinks in and things are in place and plans begin to shape up before you blog about what it actually is. Because the first rule of Midwestern happiness is to not get too excited about it and sound like you're bragging about your happiness to everyone. You know, just in case.

This is the one

In addition to footfalls the size of Yao De-Fen (world's tallest woman, FYI), the upstairs neighbors own what I assume to be a tiny wooden mallet which they are using to hammer nails into the floorboards for no apparent reason I can conjure. Therefore, I hate them.

So with that in mind, I will briefly also tell you that I have 'hottub arm' which I sustained this past weekend while in Cleveland. Apparently, if you hang out in the hottub for a long period of time doing nothing but bringing a glass of mimosas to your mouth, you possibly tear a rotator cuff or weaken a key muscle in your shoulder and become unable to lift heavy objects. Best to stick to tiny wooden mallets. Or tiny wooden hands. The more you know...

What else? I am attending a scotch tasting class tomorrow eve and am excited about that. I'll prep a webinar on it after and invite you all. Are you not interested in learning about the classic malts? There will be a pop quiz involving questions such as Is this fabulous or fantastique? and Have we tried this one? Which one do we like? Etc etc.

Oh, and the baby goats have arrived on the farm. This is not a euphemism. I'm excited and hopeful about the whole thing.

I need a nap now, goodnight!

per aspera II

So speaking of the Midwest/Great Plains, I am traveling to my favorite state tomorrow for some serious slow-down vacation time with my people. Very much needed = that whole big sky, lots of open space, no crowds, etc etc. I'm sure I'll be tweet/pic-ing while I'm there, probs lots of "I'm drinking beer, life is good" type tweets. That sure beats me having to tweet about someone taking a v. large dump on the Metro platform this morning which I mistook for a rotten banana until I realized that bananas are not that large. Yeah, good times in the city, I will miss it not. I also cannot guarantee that I will come back either. Good day!

On the Boulevard

So I managed to carve a little time out of my work in MO to go out to the country a bit to visit my friend's dad - he and I bond over playing good music really loudly and drinking beer. Both of which is what I did until 3am last night and therefore as a result, I was hung like a racehorse today. Really bad metaphor, sorry.

Anyway, point being, I have no one to blame but myself. But hello, we were in the country! It was so quiet and nice and relaxing - we checked out his wood shop which I covet like no one's business, we toured the garden, and then we looked at all the frogs in his frog pond (there were a million tadpoles and tiny frogs and big frogs all hanging out). It was glorious I must say, well worth the pain of feeling like shit today.

I captured some pictures for you of me saying one last Hi from the road.

Oh Boulevard, how I missed ye!




Where my mind will be when I am stuck in traffic tomorrow:




Cheers to you:



Now I am off to bed at 830 because of the above activities. Call me granny, but I'm feeling old and tired. Goodnight!

not dead yet

I have returned to Dumb City with a cold and a shitty attitude, therefore I shall only say a few words so as not to come off as the bitter, sick shrew I feel like today:

1. Happy B-day (yesterday) to my literary girlfriend and Promises bunkmate, Miss Vivian Darkbloom. Who shall ever forget the soiree we had for her in 1978? It rivaled Capote's Black and White party, only we called it the Sequins and Nude party. Were it not for a ridiculous call to the fire department and an unfortunate misunderstanding between María del Rosario Pilar Martínez Molina Baeza de Rasten (aka Charo) and George Hamilton, that party would have gone down in history. C'est la life. (Also a happy belated bday to Pip and Winny! Libras will rule the world one day, I am convinced.)

2. My visit to my dad's was lovely. Perfect weather. Pontoon. A sunburn. Fishing. And I had the pleasure of having breakfast in what some people would call a small-town diner, but I would call a bait store/gambling parlor that serves eggs and fried potatoes on the side. Good times. I also drove a practically blind, speech impaired, hard of hearing drunken old man around on his golf cart. His name was Pooch. One time, Pooch, after a long day and many Natural Lites, mistook the gas for the break and drove his golf cart into the porch of his trailer, narrowly missing the propane tank. Pooch was also wearing shorts that no man of his age and/or weight should wear. Good times, good times. Gotta love the Hoosier state.

3. I am just now reading the last Harry Potter book which has been making my Metro commute falsely appear shorter. Somehow I've remained unspoiled and am enjoying it. However, not to sound all sunny-happy-days-are-here-again, the 8 mile drive down I-95 is going to kill me before the end of this week. Every day, morning and night, it has inched along. I have lost all patience with people and their stupid cars and their stupid whatevers -- I engaged in some primal scream therapy this morning when I saw the backup again. Somehow, shouting the MF word over and over again did not help. I wonder if I should try shouting something more positive? Any suggestions?

And thus, I bring the shrew full circle. I wish I could get it up to be excited that today is Wednesday or that I had finally worked for and achieved world peace, but alas and alak, all I can do is buck up like a good soldier! Enough of this bullshit! Come on now!

I heart people exclamation mark

TFG that I will be going back home this weekend, which means I will be out of this city and in the middle of the country and far far far from this bullshit concrete bureaucratic place. Which is to totally say that DC is a lovely place to visit make no mistake. I hope you all get a chance to come to your nation's capital and enjoy all the free stuff and "opportunities" and whatnot. But it is also quite possible that I have let some city bitterness seep into my psyche and need a serious attitude adjustment. Thus, when I return, I hope to be competely balanced and a much nicer person, perhaps even entertaining. Wish me luck!

Little Billy

A couple of things...

First, Death Cab's song What Sarah Said is going through my head today like nobody's business. I'm stuck on the phrase "just nervous pacers bracing for bad news". It's not like it's particularly relevant right now to me or anything, but who can say why songs lodge in one's head and stay awhile.

Second, the weight of the impending move is starting to fall on me and my friends here. I suspect they are still a little disbelieving that I will actually go, but I already have heard in my own head things like "This might be the last time I..." and that makes it real for me. When I finished grad school, I left here for a job out on the east coast and I had the same 'last time' feeling. I'm really very much the type of person who likes to stay grounded someplace solid, so there's always a bit of me that's apprehensive about moving away from what I have grown to consider home. I've almost lived here longer than I lived back home in IN. That's why I'm trying to incorporate my Embrace Change resolution/mantra. Change is necessary, it will be an adventure, DC will be very cool, etc. Still there's the letting go and that has started and I'm doing my best not to freak out. My friend A has already gotten all sobby on me and we're still two months from departing. So I'm doing about a million things, job hunting from half the country away, pondering what shit we can/cannot take, etc etc. Whatever. Ok, done with that for now. I hope I don't get all (any more?) whiny on here about this and if I do, you're cleared to shoot.

Third, I am happy to report that my folliculitis of the nose is clearing up nicely so thank you for your thoughts and prayers. I think Miss Snarker's concern put us over the top and we reached our goal of raising greater awareness of the dangers of placing objects within one's nose. If only one person learns a lesson through my sacrifice, I feel my job here is done.

(Confidential to Vivvy: Speaking of my touch with all things medical, I will always remember with fondness the time I extracted a small Egyptian urn from one of your orifi after we finally fled Alexandria, sweetie. I was leery of your smuggling operation, but you insisted you had the ..capacity.. for greatness in those days. Greatness indeed, darling. Partial credit to the Mrs for expanding your horizons so thoroughly!)

Finally, it is with sadness that I must report the passing of Little Billy. You may recall that a friend of mine has a goat farm. At our New Year's Day thing, they broke the news of his passing and it was a gruesome death I am sad to say. Apparently, the bigger one, Scroat Billy, and Little Billy had gotten together in the same pen and by some twist of fate, Scroat Billy got his horns hooked into the harness around Little Billy's neck and chest..the harness that puts paint on the backs of the Nannies after they have successfully "made magic" together. The result was apparently neck twisty and bloody *sigh* We drank one for Little Billy and one for our homies.

Peace out.

Foolish behavior

You'll remember my friend, the Algerian Fool, who lives down in New Orleans now. To say that he is a very unique character is actually kind of an understatement. I've known him almost 15 years now and the boy is like a brother to me. A foolish sometimes drunken, very talkative, and prone to leaving poetry in his French accent on my voice mail at 4am kind of brother, true, but a good guy to me nonetheless. We have shared some good camping situations over the years and have cooked some awesome meals to be sure.

(Yes, we have kissed, but that was long long ago when I was very young and less clued into the fact that he really really wasn't my type. 10 years after that, I set him up with my very good friend L and they're still going strong today. She is very patient.)

Well, he is currently in town for a couple of weeks on the occasion of his grandmother's passing so we went camping last night out at the lake. My other friend, J, joined us and we had a nice time sitting by the fire and checking out the stars. I took the Baby Dog and she was running all over smelling stuff and getting in the water. We had a pretty large fire most of the night so that was good because it was a little nippy...got down to around 25 or so I think. J and the Fool were drinking their beverages of choice and I (still more or less on the wagon) had some water and hot chocolate. It's very hard to sit in front of a camp fire and not drink, but it is do-able. I have found that I sleep a lot better camping when I haven't been drinking so that is one benefit. Last night, however, I did not sleep very well b/c the Fool was fucking with the fire and mumbling most of the night in French and my feet were cold. We ended up hanging out there enjoying the day until this afternoon when J and I came back in to town and left the Fool out there. I'm going to go get him tomorrow. He is a fool for staying out another night, but this is not a new thing.

ETA: It is supposed to rain so he is having second thoughts and I might have to go out and get his ass shortly. Yeah, this is very typical Algerian Fool behavior.

Here is a title that captures the essence of this entry

A couple of random things:

1. Sure we got a little bit of ice/sleet, but the 8-12 inches of snow predicted? It missed us to the southeast. I am sad b/c I so love major snowstorms and I was all ready to be snowed in and romp around with the pups and have a hard time remembering that I was wearing shorts a mere two days ago. Sigh. I say if it's going to be cold as shit, snow makes it bearable. Regardless, we had a fire tonight so that was nice.

2. As a result of above ice/sleet/snow to the east, my school teacher friend A had the day off and we made a run to various and sundry places and then eventually went downtown for coffee. The best thing is that her school cancelled for tomorrow and we plan to have a long breakfast with glorious newspaper reading and discussions of this/that. We tend to laugh a bunch when we get together plus most of our conversations eventually make their way to sex. Come to think of it, so do many of my conversations with lots of other people. Yes, I am a 14 year old boy. Wait, scratch that..I'll probably get some dude emailing me now. I'm really a thirty-something lesbian with a girlfriend who carries a gun. No, kidding. I'm a suburban mother of six...a Buddhist monk..a..ok, where the hell was I?

3. Here are two home projects I shall be doing this weekend: a) putting window insulation up (The Agent complains that she is constantly cold and believes the culprit to be window drafts), b) replacing the wax seal on the toilet in one of the bathrooms. (Confession: I am secretly looking forward to b way more than a b/c I have never done it and I found fucking amazing website that goes through it step by step. I always feel very efficacious when I learn a new home repair skill. I will most certainly keep you updated with the results of my labor. I may even take pictures because I know you really really want to follow along at home).

4. I have been listening to the Yeah Yeah Yeahs quite a bit this week.

5. I have not watched a minute of womens college bball yet this season so I was very excited to catch the Purdue/UConn game. I had to cheer for my undergrad alma mater but alas, they came up short. There is no reason for me not to attend the local wbb games here in town other than I have forgotten and need to put the schedule someplace where I can see it.

6. The Agent and I rented a movie last night while it iced and we had a fire going. Imagine Me and You which, while not being the most titilating girl-girl movie, was, we both had to admit, very cute. The only disturbing thing about the movie was that Giles from Buffy looked like he was suffering from a case of dementia, and subsequently, his face had this, well, crazy look to it that gave me the heebies. He looked ancient and I was like, wasn't he kind of youngish in Buffy? (could I use more commas?)

7. I forgot to mention that in addition to it being warm enough to wear shorts, we all went camping last weekend and it was lovely. Perfect weather. I took the Baby Dog with me and she loved it. However, we have been finding ticks on her left/right b/c I forgot to get an extra thing of Advantage to put on her. Left the Big Dog at home with The Agent, but even she got in on the tick action as we found one on top of her head last night. We have been trying to play blissfully ignorant and not think about where/if there are ticks about in the house. Because they're not.

That should cover it, enough of chatty cathy. Goodnight!

ETA: Yeah, I thought I was done too. But I finally finished all that tag/label business. I am not sure what it means when I have 20 posts about my vices and only 7 for search for meaning. You know what? I'm going to add 'search for meaning' to this particular entry now because I don't know what It All Means!

Dog walk

On Saturday, I saw two lynx crossing the path and heading into the woods, I thought at first they were wild coyotes, but I was close enough to see them and noted their bobbed tail and that they looked cat-like, but bigger. It was pretty awesome because I had never seen them before around here. And then when I drove home and turned into the driveway at dusk, there were two deer and a fawn in our front yard just staring at me. I swear, I've noticed more wildlife since we've moved here than in the three years combined in the old place. I like it.

I took the dogs on another walk the other day when it was warm and sunny. Or I should say, they took me. We went out on the other side of the lake, near the river, not very far from the bike trail I ride all the time. Naturally I took some pix and video to share. The camera work is choppy b/c I'm being pulled along -- I may have to delay this submission for oscar consideration until next year. Enjoy!





Prairie

Surveying her domain

Cold drink/long walk

Like grass growing

Am I the only dork watching the returns tonight?

I am cautiously optimistic, but then again, I was the same way in 1994. And 1996. And 2000. We shall see, I hate to get all upbeat and then be beaten down by the public's tolerance for bullshit and hypocrisy.

So I voted in our new place today since we moved recently and are now out in what they call a township and that means we voted in the break room of a volunteer fire department located on N 1100 Rd. And by break room, I am being generous. It was..quaint. And the 3 little old ladies were right in the middle of lunch and were happy to have company. I was the 278th person to vote and they said they were doing brisk business.

Prior to voting, however, I was being given a tour of my friend's family goat farm. Yes, civic duty and goat shit go well together. My friend J and I went camping on her family's property last night (it was an awesome night to go, warmish temps and fullish moon and then fog rolling in) and on the way home, we stopped at the barn to admire her dad's new money making crop. I found out that a Wither goat is a little male goat who has had his set of "hanging chads" banded and that said chads eventually "wither" away and fall off. I didn't ask there were any withered bits amid the goat shit, I didn't want to know. Did you know that the way to tell which goats have been impregnated by the Billy is by having the Billy wear a harness on his chest that contains colored powder? Then all you need to do is look at the Nannies and see which ones got lucky by whether they're marked on their back end. It's like a Rural Rainbow Party! Good times, good times...

That's all I got except they just predicted the Dems to win the House. Maybe all those damn Withers in Congress will grow a set back and do some actual checking and balancing. Too bad it's too little too late.

Wood

Heh, yeah. So anyway, this weekend is a total wood weekend. I took some pix of my current project which is restoring an old chair. Had to make new bottom slats and remove all the old finish and resand and fill etc. I also took pix of my shop area b/c it inspires jealousy and covetousness - if you're into that sort of thing. And finally, The Agent and I took in our first country livestock auction this morning to buy firewood by the pile. We have a fireplace now and it's getting nippy at night so it was time for some serious wood. I was bidding on wood like one of the old farmers, doing the head nod and the finger lift. All that was missing was a John Deere hat on my head. Needless to say I loved it. The Agent liked it as well, she almost bought a bunch of little live chickens for 50 cents each, cage not included (bargain I say!). Ah, the country. Now on to the wood!

View 1

View 2

View 3

View 4


Wood!

Baby Dog in Sun!

Rock me hard place

Aye, so yesterday, I hiked out with the Fool and we camped out at an area lake. The weather was beautiful and it was a perfect day/night for camping. I took the Baby Dog (who has been crashed all day since we got home; very tired from all that running and exploring and swimming) and we had a great time. However, I'm a light sleeper and I have a really hard time when I camp so basically I finally fell asleep for about an hour or so at 430am. In that time, I tried to get comfortable (failed) and listened to a pack of wild coyotes running and howling up on the ridge not far from my tent. They make really strange noises and at one point, it sounded like a pack of monkeys. I don't mind sharing space with wildlife (in fact, the bald eagles are in town and I saw two of them while I was out there) and I love nothing more than hanging by the fire. However, my body has informed me that it does not appreciate the lack of sleep and the huge stick I apparently slept on all night. Good times...

If it weren't for the season premier of the L Word tonight (which I did not like), I would have been in bed hours ago, sleeping in comfort. Alas, I'm headed horizontal right now. Good night!

ps. cheet, I've had two dreams in a row with you in it which makes me wonder how you're doing. I'ma gonna email you to make sure I'm not having premonitions. fbtcn

TGIF

I'm already in weekend mode. I have a haircut at noon and then a lunch "meeting" at 1..that should take most of the afternoon and should be fairly leisurely. Tomorrow, I intend to do nothing but putter around the yard. I have to till up the garden and I want to get another bed ready for some bulbs. And I am digging up these stupid mums I planted. I have decided I hate mums..sure they bloom late in the season, but they take up way too much space and grow all stupidly. I'm not sure why I kept them from last year but alas, tomorrow, they shall be no more. I also have to put away all my camping gear from last weekend that's strewn about the garage [last weekend, I took the baby dog and some friends and I canoed out on the lake and camped..it was great, despite the rain last Sun night and the thousand ticks I pulled of the dog...so now I've got all my shit everywhere and need to deal with it]

Why yes, we do lead exciting and glamorous lives here in the midwest..thanks for asking!

Head on

So, now that it's fall, deer season is upon us and it's always a problem out here. Because I drive about 60 miles roundtrip on a highway next to a bunch of open fields and pastures (and because I once hit two deer in a Ryder truck with sheesh), I'm very hypervigilant about them. Each morning on the way to work, I count how many huge blotches of red paint the highway. It's not a pretty site and I'm paranoid when dusk approaches. However, I wonder if I will be able to take the advice in this local story and overcome instinct: Intentionally hit something (anything) head-on in your car at full speed, without trying to swerve. Aye.