if wishes and buts were clusters of nuts

Could I ask you please to include my strai friend A in your next prayer circle? Or gregorian chant or whatever it is you do. Tonight, at this very moment, she has some football player guy over at her house to "watch the game" which we really know is a set-up. However, tonight we are hoping/wishing that this will pay off in her getting laid b/c she has been bawlbabying about her dry spell via text and phone. Frankly I am getting tired of it so luck be a lady tonight and let our collective prayers be heard. Light a candle, thanks!

Confidential to Oleander: To the list, add "be willing to ask strangers to pray for your straight friend to get laid so she will stop texting you with things like "i NEED to get some soon" at all hours of the day/night".

ETAthenextday: Well you just didn't pray hard enough, now did you. Too busy with requests for world peace and cures for this and that. Much like the groundhog, I am in for six more weeks of hearing A cry about regaining her virginity via neglect. Who's suffering now? Me, I say. Who is to blame? You.

it was all a dream about tennessee

Greetings from here!



This is the first of a missive from my many upcoming work travels. Remember the fun that was Ocala, FLA? Yes well, welcome to my life for the next three months. Trips and trips and trips. So briefly, I'm in Tennessee, Tennessee. Found a lovely brewery for beer and appreciate the area so no complaints. Short trip, back tomorrow in the D of C so attempting to enjoy my visit despite the work/stress/whatnot. Expect more of these posts in the upcoming months, hopefully with real live pix and exciting stories of people I meet in airport bars. Stay tuned!

ps. Did you know Pat Summit rules this town with an iron fist? Oh yeah..

ETA: You will also enjoy a number of these Edited to Adds wherein I post follow-ups from the airport bar because my flight is delayed. In this one, I will tell you that I am enjoying a Coors Light in a small Ruby Tuesdays and the server gal looks/talks like Reese Witherspoon in Sweet Home Alabama which is not a bad thing. I can also recommend that you should Tap Into Good Times on your next visit here. That is all.

ETA2: Yeah, I can see this becoming a regular feature wherein my flight is delayed 2 hours, I consume some beer, take random pictures with my phone, and start rocking uncontrollably. Holla!

testament to youth in verse

So you know how I'm moving soon. Like in three weeks. Well, I've been doing the requisite sorting of shit, Goodwilling, moving heavy boxes. Basically doing what I loathe to do. But times like these give me the chance to cull the herd so to speak and I have been getting rid of stuff. As a result of said culling, I have had to go through old boxes and have come across some gems from my youth tonight. I would like to share some of these antiques with you b/c I can think of no one else who would care. Except for Billy Hicks and possibly the band Berlin who will maybe google themselves and find this. So here you go:

First up is a picture of a picture. As the caption on the back attests:



this will be a picture of my bedroom circa 1985. Behold:



Two things will jump out at you. First, you will be startled by the posters on the wall, for one is of Rob Lowe and the other is of John-Eric Hexum (who tragically shot himself and who is probably only remembered by me and his family). Please excuse - I was still young and clearly naive as evidenced by the fact that there is also a contingency of stuffed animals and a big piggy bank on my dresser. That whole Not A Girl/Not Yet A Woman thing going on apparently. Ah youth.

Next up is a videotape that makes me wish I still owned a VCR. I thought I had lost this, but I found it at my mom's house years ago mixed in with her tapes. I somehow doubt she watched it. My long-time love of Berlin the band is no secret.



The 'playlist' is classic, covet this at will if you must:



Here is what we wore back in the day when we didn't have Swatches. Someone across studyhall could tell the time off your wrist, it was that big. Like our hair. This was post parachute pants era but pre-neon. I think. I forgot to put my phone next to it so you would have some sense of scale, but trust me on the size. We were queens of size re: all things back then. Flava Flav saw my watch and asked for his own bling, but smaller.



We're now in the early 90's memento-wise and what could be more telling of my future than the two items below. Don't think I didn't have to fight off more than a few ladies with severe haircuts to catch this, my friends. Chicago 1993, first row, baby!



And finally, before it was splashed on the cover of People, I knew something was fishy. Ahem. This gal led a double-life as a young grad student in the early-mid 90's. Yep, I'm gay!

PSA

So, you know, sometimes we sorta don't take as good of care of ourselves as we should. Maybe we blow off those yearly doctor's appointments or just kinda assume the best without taking preventative steps and regular health checks etc. I'm guilty too. I haven't found a doctor out here yet and it's been awhile. But sometimes, you know, you realize that you're not getting any younger and you need to stop making assumptions about your health and just do it.

I will be making one of those appointments soon. I found out today that my first girlfriend, who I've mentioned here and here, has breast cancer at the age of 42. I'm really upset quite honestly and am hoping for the best for her. She had a partial mastectomy and will begin chemo in a month. Man. I don't know what else to say.

So maybe if you think about it, you'll do a self-exam this month and make that appointment if you need it. For me? Please?

1851 -1895

Well today was a good day to have to "work from home". The heat went out again so the oil company and furnace guys had to come etc etc. It got up to 60 degrees today (that's 15.5 degrees celcius btw) and I just got back from taking the dogs for a long walk in the woods. It was perfect. While traipsing around, I came across an old homestead and found this:

if you sprinkle when you tinkle, be a sweetie, wipe the seaty

I don't even know what to say about this story out of my favorite state. It's either an extreme case of rural Secretary or just plain sad. I shall refrain from contemplating what exactly 'natural means' really..means. Aye.

ps. I shall also refrain from defending the title of this post which is now being played on repeat in my head. I have no one to blame but myself. Goodday!

ETA: More follow-up here to this "gripping" story, which of course will be small-town fodder for years.

It's always mimosa time

So this weekend, my old grad school friend from Cleveland braved the blizzard over in O-hi-o and is here visiting. She drove and got out on Friday, but could only make it to Fredrick, MD before she had had enough, drove the rest of the way on Sat. As it was, it took her like 8 hours to get there, when the trip on a normal day would be 5.5 or 6. Anyway, she's here and we've been catching up/drinking wine/eating/listening to music. Yay!

Yesterday, we went into Dupont Circle and had brunch at Kramerbooks. It was lovely - mimosas! Then we headed over to Eastern Market which was my first time there and which was smaller than I thought it would be. Not entirely sure I'd go again, but maybe in the summer when there's more booths/stuff. I don't know..my tolerance for browsing booths of silver jewerly and wooden knicknacks/whatnot has never been high. Surprise!

I'm taking the day off today from work to hang out some more. We haven't quite figured the plan (I've got one of those negotiate-the-impossible conference calls in the middle of the day) but we may go up to Baltimore. Then again, we may just hang and cook and drink wine and repeat. It's all good, yay for friends!

answer = yes

This is the text I just got from my strai friend A:

I'm listening to the indigo girls by myself...sad or not?

I kind of hate to break it to her..

the things we do for love

Oh you know how it is, there ain't no shame.

1. Watch hockey. Actually know which teams are which, though the rules may elude. Even develop a little crush on hometown team's best player, refer to him as The Russian. He is missing a tooth but that only endears him to you. Hockey? Ovechkin, baby.

2. Take advantage of new free training offered through work = learn French. Je suis un mujer en amore. Or somesuch.

3. Have/Talk about feelings.

4. Develop new and interesting fetishes: Belt buckles. Leather wrist bands. Asymetrical hair. Drum sticks. Canada.

5. Bookmark weather page that shows temp in celcius. Have handy temp conversation on palm pilot.

6. Plan a trip to the other coast in late spring when the weather will be warm - think about nothing but seeing the ocean with her until then.

7. Give up and admit you're hopeless. Blog about it because she's off across the country somewhere and inaccessible. You know how it is.

ETA: 8. Anything.

HRC

FYI, last night I had a dream where I was campaigning for Hillary and I was kind of in an advisory role. As I am wont to do. She was awesome. She also hit on me. As she is probably wont to do. So I called her a scalawag. Yes, I actually called Hillary Clinton a scalawag...for trying to get me in bed in my dream. She just gave me a rogue-ish grin and said she had to go win Ohio or this was all over. I wished her luck and told her win one for the ladies. The end.

ps. I'd so totally hit that, btw.

I guess it's March now?

Did you find that little hamster with his happy feet too much to take? Man is he cute or what..

So, how goes? I have decided that two days on the weekend is not enough to recover from 5 days at Robotech. All work/no play, that kind of thing. Plus also I am feeling like I am running out of time between now and when I move. You know how I get when I have to move = minor freak outs and major stress. It seems weird that we moved here a year ago, like I am not sure whether the time has gone quickly or slowly. I think it's the result of the fact that there were so many changes all at once, it kind of threw off the time/space continuum. So in the last year, I: moved halfway across the country, lost my social network of friends, started a new job, and broke up with my girlfriend. That covers a few on the life events stress test. Thank god no one died this past year.

As a result, I've got this new patch of gray hair at my right temple that wasn't there before, I dropped like 3 sizes in jeans (seriously, I don't even remember the last time I wore a size 6 until now..like high school?), and I can't really tell if I'm happy or not. I'm in that auto-pilot zone where you just go from this day to that day and take your moments of good when they come. Is that just life? Hard to tell. I'm not too miserable, not too content. Things could be better, things could be worse. I guess that's just how it is right now (how it's always been?) I'm only taking stock because I've been here a year and that seems to be decent marker of time.

So I am giving myself another year here for a variety of reasons (e.g., don't want to be a quitter, can leverage this job to get better job elsewhere, don't have legit job prospect back home, attempt to find a way to enjoy/take advantage of city life for a bit). Whatever. Enough of this. Half tempted to just delete this all and post cute youtube videos or something. You know how you're thinking about how things are going etc and you just kind of get tired of listening to yourself process. Even at the best of times, my own tolerance for me talking about me is very low. Sure, this whole blog is me talking about me, but you know. My midwestern sensibilities don't allow for extended mememe. Now this is just getting tedious. It's sunny and warm here today so I am going to stop with this nonsense.

I will, however, post a picture from my lovely evening with the Aussies in which I discovered my new favorite place here in town. We had a nice time and I may see them later today. Baby steps, baby steps.

Normally used as a surface for doing lines, someone misplaced their Duds (box half-full even, I checked):

chomping brocc-o-li, chomping brocc-ooo-liiii

Your moment of zen: