accoutrements of democracy

To be honest, all this boring talk of work and travel and whatever else I write about is getting to me. Metro this, DC that. No one really cares, right? Instead, for just one damn post, I am going to talk about sex because this is America and we do that here. I talk all the time about my friend A and her sex life, but what about me and my needs? Seriously. I feel like I've let my friends from Iran down by not focusing on what's really important in this crazy fucked up world. Namely: nookie.

I'm a big fan, first off. Let's get that out of the way. Big fan, even bigger advocate, and frankly, an enthusiastic practioner. There are very few things I dislike about it. As long as it doesn't involve children, animals, snuff films, or the use of bodily waste products, I pretty much give a thumbs up. Some things do fall under the category of whatever-floats-your-boat-but-I'll-sit-this-ride-out-thanks such as things that scare me/not in a good way, furries, and pretending to be a baby who needs diapered. I'm also not so much into sticking a bunch of pins or needles in my/anyone else's body and I can't say I'd be up for trying to break any world records involving length/girth/quantity. That's just me.

So what floats my boat? I have made a handy list and I heartily recommend you at home make your own so that you can create your own consciousness raising moments on your next trip to Home Depot or the grocery store. Here are things or situations or personality types or physical attributes or whatnot that turn/turned me on in some way/shape/form and that have led to, would lead to, might be involved in some aspect of, or could be totally unrelated to sex with me.

ps. This is list not exhaustive and is subject to change. Also I am not currently drunk or drinking (despite my slow descent into alcoholism thanks to my anon lurker, hi!). No, I don't know what got into me. Maybe I'm just trying to spread a little democracy to Iran before we invade them too. Bring a little nippy fucky into their lives before its too late.

Enough talk/more action, in no particular order/rhyme/reason or related to any one person/place/thing, that which floats my boat:

1. I love power dynamics in bed and out of bed. Dominant/submissive, top/bottom, control/vulnerability, strength/weakness. The more subtle the cues, the better. I'm no fan of in your face theatrics or stereotypical power scenes. That stuff is too affected, too easy, too obvious. I want you or me to know who's in charge by the way your body moves or doesn't, by the way a word is said or how silence is used, or by what the look in your eyes. Throw in liberal use of the words please and thank you, please. Thanks.

2. Talking before/during/after sex. See above but also include descriptions of actions taken or to be taken, reactions to events, feelings regarding actions or events, and a soft endearment thrown in to throw things off. And be desperate when saying it or be demanding or coaxing or encouraging or out of control. Also words like fuck and god are never wrong. Also lots of other words that would be banned in Iran and possibly Iowa.

3. Accoutrements. I am someone who loves her tools, her camping gear, and her cookware. To me this is a no brainer. I am all about the functionality and feng shui. Use it or lose it.

4. Girls with guns. Sorry, it's a fetish, can't help it. Love it. NRA can suck it, but give that girl a gun. And hello, this pix of Starbuck? So many things right with that. (Win, here's a secret: this would also totally fall under #3 for me, write that story and we're gold).

5. This

6. Having sex or sex-like activities in public places that goes unnoticed by the public. I don't have any fantasies about being seen or being caught, I just really like the idea of having to hide what's going on while acting like nothing is happening when something is totally happening and all kinds of things are going on.

7. Fine, I like lacy silky undergarments, is that a crime?

8. Kneeling. Um

9. Hands in hair pushing someone's head down or being pushed down. Umm.

10. I wouldn't mind another threesome or more given the right mix of people. Ummm.

11. Scott Speedman, Jake G, Tony Gonzalez, and young John Cusack = boys I'd totally do.

12. Leaving visible marks on skin, perferably the back of the neck or the softest part of you. Wherever you choose.

13. I am thinking that really this is just kind of the tip of the iceberg and I am leaving out all kinds of other things that are more private even though posting this is probably a little too public for my normal preference for privacy but you know, there's way more to life than riding the damn Metro and going to work every day and guess what people generally like having sex me included and if you don't that's ok too but my point is here you go a post that I wouldn't normally write even though if you knew me, you'd know I have no problems discussing and/or having sex and hello, it's my favorite vice so why not sing its praises I say.

Can I get an Amen?

BSG = wee!

On a completely unrelated note, we did manage to watch every single BSG episode from the last two seasons and are now caught up. The only problem is that we can no longer remember what's happening in S3..which starts up again this Sun. Yay! And this is what I'm talking about. Hot Starbuck action..





And I so want this jacket:

stick em up 

I wanted to be a cowboy growing up...who didn't? 

Trigger finger

Or actually, trigger shoulder. I'm sore. On Saturday, the Agent needed to get some training in and do some shooting so I went along. Now, I'm not a bad shot. Growing up, I used to shoot a bb-gun with my dad and with the neighbor boys. But it has been a long time since I've actually shot a gun and I hadn't shot a handgun ever until a year or so ago. The first time we went shooting, I had some trouble because it's not as easy to shoot a handgun..a rifle is much more accurate. So with her Glock, I was shooting all over the place, hitting the target but not really hitting where I was aiming. Part of it is getting used to the explosion, even with ear protectors on. I flinched every time I pulled the trigger in anticipation and that caused me to close my eyes and thus, my shot was not very accurate. Yesterday, it took me several rounds to get over that instinct and I was shooting very well by the time we finished. I don't own a gun, am pretty ambivalent about having them in the house, and don't ever expect to shoot one at anything other than a paper target. But it's good to know I'm still a good shot.

So my shoulders are very sore from holding the gun up, it still hurts to raise my arms up and that was two days ago. So yeah, I have trigger shoulder. It's like how I get dart arm when I haven't played darts in a long time. And sorta like that old football injury of mine, yeah it still acts up on cold rainy days..why, I remember when I used to run a 4.4 and...blah blah.

The other thing of note is that on Sat we adopted a new kitten. We're bringing him home from the vet today after his two tiny male parts were removed. He's going to be the new boy of the house. The Agent named him Boomer (Sooner) for her beloved Oklahoma team. She's the cat person around here so whatever works for her. I do have to say though that he's a cutie..grey tiger markings. I'll be posting pictures. I'm curious to see how the dogs and he interact..I hope they all get along.

ps. There seems to be some spam going around the comment section, I had to disable it for the last post until I figure out how/if I can delete the comments. I'm hoping it isn't going to become a trend, that'd be a pain in the ass.

Hump Day Brain Dump

Ok, here's a bunch of unrelated things:

Had our Wed bfast and coffee with R, A, and her little niece (who is 5). Needless to say, there was no discussion of fisting. I also think it's a crime that my friend R who is very very hot is having trouble finding a girlfriend. She's a reformed bad girl who is training for a triathalon; she showed off her abs today at bfast. You could bounce a quarter on them. I've been trying to set her up, but all the chicks I know are either in a couple or too drama-filled or not in her league. It's a damn shame to let that body go to waste too long, I say..

I have started a new woodworking project. I'm building a cedar adirondack chair and loveseat, along with footrests and table for the back deck. I'm quite excited about it..I have a pattern to work from, but have to rough-cut all the pieces before putting it together. Lots of table-saw/circular saw/jigsaw action right now..then lots of routering and sanding afterwards. God, I love working in my workshop, even if it's 95 degrees here. Fuck it, I'm a wood whore, I admit.

Went to the chiropractor this morn after bfast. I've been out of whack and sore since this weekend, the stress and muscle tightening always seem to pull me out of alignment and my neck gets fucky. I tell you, I used to think Chiros were quacks, but nothing beats a good adjustment and neck cracking. I'm a believer now, just like Katie Holmes and her newfound Scientology. (By the way, did you know there are many chiropractors and dentists who are also scientologists? Mine's not..here in the midwest, you won't find to many folks gullible enough to fall for that alien shit. We may have our wacky religious cults, but faux sci-fi thetan/auditing/xenu bullshit doesn't play here in Kansas).

Confidential to V re: Glocks -- I'll admit I have been working on the logistics of that kind of situation for awhile now in RL. ps. The check is in the mail!