I've been listening to lots of music lately and I'm really digging Moby's cover of the New Order song Temptation on the Hotel CD. I just picked it up last week and am liking it. What can I say, I like Moby and his scrawny bespectacled ass. Sue me or do me.
A heaven, a gateway, a hope
Just like a feeling inside, it’s no joke
And though it hurts me to treat you this way
Betrayed by words, I’d never heard, too hard to say
Up, down, turn around
Please don’t let me hit the ground
Tonight I think I’ll walk alone
I’ll find my soul as I go home
Each way I turn, I know I’ll always try
To break this circle that’s been placed around me
From time to time, I find I’ve lost some need
That was urgent to myself, I do believe
Up, down, turn around
Please don’t let me hit the ground
Tonight I think I’ll walk alone
I’ll find my soul as I go home
Oh, you’ve got green eyes
Oh, you’ve got blue eyes
Oh, you’ve got grey eyes
And I’ve never seen anyone quite like you before
No, I’ve never met anyone quite like you before
Bolts from above hit the people down below
People in this world, we have no place to go
Oh, it’s the last time
Oh, I’ve never met anyone quite like you before
Oh no, I’ve never met anyone quite like you before
12/31/2005
12/28/2005
Evil home stereo
what good songs do you know?
So another holiday done. I passed the day trying to keep busy. It was warm here so I worked in the garage, doing some fix-it stuff, piddling. I'm glad for it to be over; I'm hoping in the future holidays will be nice again instead of another reminder of what is lost. Yes, another excuse for me to be all bah humbug. Enough of that..
So these last two weeks of work have been very nice in that there is nothing too pressing I have to do and I have some vacation time to burn so I've been doing half-days and taking days off without compunction. Plus there's no one here on campus or really in this building so it's not like I'm missing anything. (Though yesterday I left early because there was this creepy facilities guy who was hanging out by the elevator and who gave me the serial killer vibe -- I figured if there's one place you don't want to be, it's in your office in a deserted building with a guy who has keys to all the doors. I rarely get that feeling from the fac guys around here but because there wasn't really anyone around, I didn't want to second guess my unease). I may not even come in tomorrow or Fri. I'm really going to have to get psychologically prepared to NOT work and not feel guilty about not coming to the office (by the way, that one post where I said I was losing my email of 6 years? Well, I worked out a situation here where I'm an affiliate so I won't be losing it, plus I get to keep this office for next semester -- all that deleting and fretting for nothing!).
I do have several projects I'm still working on and things I need to do for collaborative work, but since I'm not getting paid, I am not obligated to come in at all..I can do most of that stuff at home. So it will be kind of weird. Don't get me wrong, I'm looking forward to my sabbatical and time off. I've been itching for it for awhile now and ready to savor it. It's just a matter of getting out of the mindset of 'work', you know, and all the accompanying feelings of obligation/responsiblity/guilt. I've pretty much gotten there, but it will certainly be an adjustment.
What else? Oh, you know what a tool whore I am so for Xmas, my dad sent along a gift card for Home Depot (motto: "A Lesbian's Second Home") and I bought the final two pieces that should complete my workshop -- a compound miter saw and a belt/disc sander. I'm all ready to woodwork your ass, mmkay. That's right, don't mess with me and my miter saw because we will cut you. So I'm finishing up my second Adirondack chair (really just need to finish a little sanding then put it together and stain it). I do have another project on the horizon, though. My friends asked me to install window casings in their house so I will be compound mitering like a fool. I installed some of these casings in our own place so it shouldn't be too hard, I'm looking forward to it. I'll probably look for these little fix-it things that friends need done while I'm off just to keep busy. Will work for beer!
Finally, I bought two new books (one on the rec of Renee) and started reading them...not like I don't have enough to read, but I like variety. So I'm reading The Fabric of the Cosmos: Space, Time, and the Texture of Reality by Brian Greene. It's good so far and I'm enjoying it (aside: in high school, I was a big science geek and loved chemistry etc. However, in my senior year, I decided to take Astronomy instead of Physics - against the advice of the teacher who taught both. What can I say? I was concerned about the calculus involved and math wasn't my strong suit back then. Now, I wish I had taken both. Of course, if I knew then what I know now, I'd have taken all kinds of different shit in high school and college..but no need to regret the path taken, we all get where we're supposed to go in the end).
I'm also reading The Physics of Consciousness by Evan Harris Walker. There's a fair amount of overlap in the two books and the only thing irking me about the Walker book is his focus on some long lost love of his from when he was 16. I'm assuming he will draw it together and make a point further down the road, but those parts of the book seem a tad self-involved. I'm interested in the idea of what happens to energy associated with a person when they die (after all, we are made up of atoms of electricity that *must* go somewhere when our bodies cease their complex processes; where does it go? what new matter is created from death?) so I think he might ultimately get to that..or at least I hope he does. (Actually, Renee, I think you mentioned The Tao of Physics and instead I got to this book..hmm) At any rate, I'm interested enough to keep reading so we shall see.
Look at me go on. Carly would be proud (by the way, I heard that song AGAIN yesterday while in the garage. I swear, someone programmed Kansas City radio to play that song every day. I just find that too weird. And another
strangely-inappropriate-song-played-during-the-holidays I've been hearing is Alanis Morrisette's "You oughta know". Because nothing says Christmas like Alanis going down on you in a theater).
Ok, I'm outta here. I'm staying in town for the bball game tonight, I'm glad I've been able to make it to as many games as I have. I had forgotten how fun it is to see it live. (Plus the coach is hot and that's enough for me..yeah, shallow but true).
Peace out.
Well see what you wanna see. You should see it all.
Well take what you want from me. You deserve it all.
Nine times out of ten, our hearts just get dissolved.
Well I want a better place or just a better way to fall.
But one time out of ten, everything is perfect for us all.
Well I want a better place or just a better way to fall -- Modest Mouse
So another holiday done. I passed the day trying to keep busy. It was warm here so I worked in the garage, doing some fix-it stuff, piddling. I'm glad for it to be over; I'm hoping in the future holidays will be nice again instead of another reminder of what is lost. Yes, another excuse for me to be all bah humbug. Enough of that..
So these last two weeks of work have been very nice in that there is nothing too pressing I have to do and I have some vacation time to burn so I've been doing half-days and taking days off without compunction. Plus there's no one here on campus or really in this building so it's not like I'm missing anything. (Though yesterday I left early because there was this creepy facilities guy who was hanging out by the elevator and who gave me the serial killer vibe -- I figured if there's one place you don't want to be, it's in your office in a deserted building with a guy who has keys to all the doors. I rarely get that feeling from the fac guys around here but because there wasn't really anyone around, I didn't want to second guess my unease). I may not even come in tomorrow or Fri. I'm really going to have to get psychologically prepared to NOT work and not feel guilty about not coming to the office (by the way, that one post where I said I was losing my email of 6 years? Well, I worked out a situation here where I'm an affiliate so I won't be losing it, plus I get to keep this office for next semester -- all that deleting and fretting for nothing!).
I do have several projects I'm still working on and things I need to do for collaborative work, but since I'm not getting paid, I am not obligated to come in at all..I can do most of that stuff at home. So it will be kind of weird. Don't get me wrong, I'm looking forward to my sabbatical and time off. I've been itching for it for awhile now and ready to savor it. It's just a matter of getting out of the mindset of 'work', you know, and all the accompanying feelings of obligation/responsiblity/guilt. I've pretty much gotten there, but it will certainly be an adjustment.
What else? Oh, you know what a tool whore I am so for Xmas, my dad sent along a gift card for Home Depot (motto: "A Lesbian's Second Home") and I bought the final two pieces that should complete my workshop -- a compound miter saw and a belt/disc sander. I'm all ready to woodwork your ass, mmkay. That's right, don't mess with me and my miter saw because we will cut you. So I'm finishing up my second Adirondack chair (really just need to finish a little sanding then put it together and stain it). I do have another project on the horizon, though. My friends asked me to install window casings in their house so I will be compound mitering like a fool. I installed some of these casings in our own place so it shouldn't be too hard, I'm looking forward to it. I'll probably look for these little fix-it things that friends need done while I'm off just to keep busy. Will work for beer!
Finally, I bought two new books (one on the rec of Renee) and started reading them...not like I don't have enough to read, but I like variety. So I'm reading The Fabric of the Cosmos: Space, Time, and the Texture of Reality by Brian Greene. It's good so far and I'm enjoying it (aside: in high school, I was a big science geek and loved chemistry etc. However, in my senior year, I decided to take Astronomy instead of Physics - against the advice of the teacher who taught both. What can I say? I was concerned about the calculus involved and math wasn't my strong suit back then. Now, I wish I had taken both. Of course, if I knew then what I know now, I'd have taken all kinds of different shit in high school and college..but no need to regret the path taken, we all get where we're supposed to go in the end).
I'm also reading The Physics of Consciousness by Evan Harris Walker. There's a fair amount of overlap in the two books and the only thing irking me about the Walker book is his focus on some long lost love of his from when he was 16. I'm assuming he will draw it together and make a point further down the road, but those parts of the book seem a tad self-involved. I'm interested in the idea of what happens to energy associated with a person when they die (after all, we are made up of atoms of electricity that *must* go somewhere when our bodies cease their complex processes; where does it go? what new matter is created from death?) so I think he might ultimately get to that..or at least I hope he does. (Actually, Renee, I think you mentioned The Tao of Physics and instead I got to this book..hmm) At any rate, I'm interested enough to keep reading so we shall see.
Look at me go on. Carly would be proud (by the way, I heard that song AGAIN yesterday while in the garage. I swear, someone programmed Kansas City radio to play that song every day. I just find that too weird. And another
strangely-inappropriate-song-played-during-the-holidays I've been hearing is Alanis Morrisette's "You oughta know". Because nothing says Christmas like Alanis going down on you in a theater).
Ok, I'm outta here. I'm staying in town for the bball game tonight, I'm glad I've been able to make it to as many games as I have. I had forgotten how fun it is to see it live. (Plus the coach is hot and that's enough for me..yeah, shallow but true).
Peace out.
Well see what you wanna see. You should see it all.
Well take what you want from me. You deserve it all.
Nine times out of ten, our hearts just get dissolved.
Well I want a better place or just a better way to fall.
But one time out of ten, everything is perfect for us all.
Well I want a better place or just a better way to fall -- Modest Mouse
12/23/2005
Clouds in my coffee
Busy time of the year, of course, but I had something odd to share. In the past four days, I've encountered Carly Simon's You're so vain on the car radio no less than 7 times. (Naturally, I always keep it on and listen to it because she wrote it about ME). Isn't that a strange choice to play during the holidays?
That's it, that's all I've got.
I'm going to hunker down and get through this damn Christmas bullshit. Peace!
That's it, that's all I've got.
I'm going to hunker down and get through this damn Christmas bullshit. Peace!
12/15/2005
Email much?
So in prep for my upcoming sabbatical, I thought it time to deal with my email account. My primary one for the last 6 years has been my work account and eventually, they'll find out that I'm no longer employed here and it will turned off. Naturally, over the course of 6 years, email builds up. I regularly purge sent and deleted emails, but sometimes I just keep emails for no apparent reason. A friend sent me a baby announcement; that child is now attending kindergarten. Now what was that Japanese soy sauce I wanted to know the name of? Oh, according to an email from 7/10/03, it's Hon Tsuyu: Soup & sauce base. I apparently can get it at Target. For the most part though, the emails I went through my inbox and deleted today were just back and forth conversations with friends or work folks. Stuff that didn't need to be kept but was. I have pared down my email to the essentials I believe, a reasonable amount to save to a folder and have handy when my account goes away. Here are some stats and facts to keep you totally fascinated on a Thurs:
Number of emails kept in inbox: 190
Oldest email kept: 11/5/01
Newest email kept: today, 3:09pm
Most email from same person kept: 24
That person: my boss
Next most: 12
That person: me
Most frequent subject line: "Re: Hey"
Most boring subject line: "FW: Run-time errors and subscript out of range message"
Most provocative subject line (but which in fact was not about sex): "RE: Mmm MMm!"
Total number of emails deleted in today's purge: 1076
Amount you care about above info: 0
Number of emails kept in inbox: 190
Oldest email kept: 11/5/01
Newest email kept: today, 3:09pm
Most email from same person kept: 24
That person: my boss
Next most: 12
That person: me
Most frequent subject line: "Re: Hey"
Most boring subject line: "FW: Run-time errors and subscript out of range message"
Most provocative subject line (but which in fact was not about sex): "RE: Mmm MMm!"
Total number of emails deleted in today's purge: 1076
Amount you care about above info: 0
12/09/2005
7 inches +
So I'm a size queen, sue me. We got a bunch of snow on Wednesday, it's beautiful outside. I ended up staying in town the last two nights so got to frolic a bit. Had a great time yesterday wherein R & A and I spent a leisurely 2 hour breakfast. I stopped into work briefly to take care of a few things, but otherwise, I wasn't needed and no one was around so I said screw it. R & A & I then proceeded to do some shopping and a bit of beer drinking. Ran into some other friends and they joined us. Lots of people had the day off yesterday as a "snow day" so we hung with teacher-types. A uniformed girl cop came in for lunch where we were having beers and R & I both admitted: Yes, it's the uniform. We all know I'm a sucker for a girl with a gun and badge, I'm all about the accessories. All in all, it was a "day of gay fun" (which R insisted on calling it). I also ran into my Sexy Hair Consultant Roxanne and she had a few drinks with us (she was aghast at my hat hair). We had a nice conversation about boobies. I love her.
So things are winding down here, it's finals week so not too many people around and we're finally through most of our job candidate interviews. It's been a busy week and I'm glad it's ending. Tomorrow, we're having a bit of an X-mas dinner with the Agent's aunt (who is still in town for those counting). I need to figure out what I'm going to do on Sun, there's a women's bball game in town (and alas, I'm all about our coach now..I hadn't really given her much thought until I had some close-up time and she was wearing a power suit. Forget it, power suits and women in charge..it's a theme. ps. Vivvy! I didn't realize it was actually true about Cabot's return until I saw it yesterday in the paper! Sweetie! Our prayers have been answered!). Anyway, there's a game to come into town for, but also there's football to watch (and we're in the playoff hunt!) so I'm not sure what to do. Plus the Agent is getting a bit antsy about my not being around (also I am missing my baby dog). I'll figure it out come Sun. (Oh, and Aimee Mann is coming back to town in Jan, I am so there). I've got to read this manuscript before a meeting with J so I'm outta here.
So things are winding down here, it's finals week so not too many people around and we're finally through most of our job candidate interviews. It's been a busy week and I'm glad it's ending. Tomorrow, we're having a bit of an X-mas dinner with the Agent's aunt (who is still in town for those counting). I need to figure out what I'm going to do on Sun, there's a women's bball game in town (and alas, I'm all about our coach now..I hadn't really given her much thought until I had some close-up time and she was wearing a power suit. Forget it, power suits and women in charge..it's a theme. ps. Vivvy! I didn't realize it was actually true about Cabot's return until I saw it yesterday in the paper! Sweetie! Our prayers have been answered!). Anyway, there's a game to come into town for, but also there's football to watch (and we're in the playoff hunt!) so I'm not sure what to do. Plus the Agent is getting a bit antsy about my not being around (also I am missing my baby dog). I'll figure it out come Sun. (Oh, and Aimee Mann is coming back to town in Jan, I am so there). I've got to read this manuscript before a meeting with J so I'm outta here.
12/06/2005
winter ennui
Aye, so it's colder here and things are still busy and eh. Holiday season sucked last year and this year is similar. No holiday spirit and not looking forward to the whole Xmas thing, I only get it up for the Agent who loves Xmas. I'm hoping my feelings will eventually change.
I went home to Indiana the day after Thanksgiving for a few days to visit my dad and sister. Long drive, 10 hours across Missouri and Illinois and up through the Hoosier state. Unfortunately, "home" is not really an appropriate word anymore for that place and the whole time I was there, it felt very empty. Still, I felt compelled to go. As a result, I'm in a bit of a funk, but work is so busy this week I haven't had time to process.
All is not lost though, our secretary Debbie made me this awesome black scarf that I love..it's made out of ribbon yarn. It's spiffy. And tonight, the Agent and her aunt (who is visiting for 2 weeks..and who talks non-stop) took a trip down to Oklahoma so I have the house to myself. I could use about another two days home alone, but will take what I can get. Oh, and we went to see Harry Potter on Sun. Plus my dogs love me so time to buck up and stop whining.
As life gets longer, awful feels softer -- Modest Mouse
I went home to Indiana the day after Thanksgiving for a few days to visit my dad and sister. Long drive, 10 hours across Missouri and Illinois and up through the Hoosier state. Unfortunately, "home" is not really an appropriate word anymore for that place and the whole time I was there, it felt very empty. Still, I felt compelled to go. As a result, I'm in a bit of a funk, but work is so busy this week I haven't had time to process.
All is not lost though, our secretary Debbie made me this awesome black scarf that I love..it's made out of ribbon yarn. It's spiffy. And tonight, the Agent and her aunt (who is visiting for 2 weeks..and who talks non-stop) took a trip down to Oklahoma so I have the house to myself. I could use about another two days home alone, but will take what I can get. Oh, and we went to see Harry Potter on Sun. Plus my dogs love me so time to buck up and stop whining.
As life gets longer, awful feels softer -- Modest Mouse
12/01/2005
I give up
I'm sorry, but I am finally (after years of fighting it) joining the ranks of millions of others. I am giving up the ghost on this one. You win, Angie, you win. I am yours, do with me what you will.
Images from Pink is the New Blog
Images from Pink is the New Blog
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