Cleveland Rocks!

Ah yes, so my time in the Hoosier state has run its course. I drank shitty beer and pokered and second-hand smoked and cussed and ate fried food and visited peeps enough. It is time to go. I have had a few moments of feeling the emptiness of this place, but luckily it has been fleeting. I drove to my old small town and went by Mom's old house three times while I've been in town. Those are the times I remember that this state holds too many memories sometimes. It's ok though, most memories are good and I'm learning to let the most recent and sharpest ones fade a little. It's still tough to drive by the accident site, but you know, it gets a little less painful each time. For that, I'm thankful. Small blessings laid upon us...

So tomorrow I am making my way over to Cleveland. It's a shortish drive so it won't be bad. I'll be visiting my friend M from grad school and her fam. I cannot tell you how much wine will be consumed, but trust me, we kept many a vineyard in business back in the day (we also kept several other vice-makers in business as well -- this lead to a rather complicated yet complete theory of how "time" was really, like, a "circular tube" we all traveled around and like, a "deja-vu" was when you took the same path in that tube and met yourself where the "past" and "future" and "present" all intersected. Yeah...you know exactly what I'm talking about. Anyway. Yes). Plus, she's got a hottub as I have mentioned and you have no idea how there I am with that whole idea. Coincidentally, this will be the second year in a row I will be spending St. Patricks day with them. Last year was up in Portland OR before they moved which was very fun and during which beverages were consumed and it is possible that I might have done a jig of sorts. Like River Dance. Because I am limber. So yes, Cleveland will be a good time and then off to The Crab next week.

Even with all this Midwestern business, I have been thinking about Baltimore. I believe we'll be closer to there than DC, but again, it's all who knows out east. Maps are of no help, you have to figure out the distances with your own body, you know? So I'm wrapping my head around actually being there as opposed to the abstract concept of "moving there". I once mentioned that the only things I know about Baltimore are what I learned from John Waters. I think I'm going to have to rewrite that script a little bit. I have a few ideas in mind..

Ok, that's it for a while. I don't think I'll have the same kind of internet access from here until The Crab so peace out to my homies on the eastside and down south. This is how we roll here in the I to the N to the D. LLYAS! TTYL! Stay cool!

Does weary mean wiser?

Dear friends and foes,

Alas, I think this might be the last update for a while. Yes, the circus is leaving town and I must pack my bags and follow. This is the life of a trapzee groupie. We go where we must to watch others fly.

I need not tell you that I am barely standing. First, I have not slept decently in several weeks. Second, my friends have insisted on making me drink pretty much 24/7. Third, there's that whole packing/getting ready to move business (summary: lists of things to do, we sold the house yay!, endless sorting, where's my checkbook? errand running, will I need this? muscle strain/knots - thank god for a massage appointment monday, disassembling too much shit that I just assembled five months ago, trying to cram in last minute visits/lunches/drinks, etc etc, I could go on but why). And finally, my head's been completely off in Baltimore making future plans.

So yes. The upside is I've stumbled upon a fabulous weight loss plan! It's called stress and anxiety! You should try it! Why the fuck was I riding my bike and not drinking when I could drop pounds with no effort on my part at all. I'm actually a pretty laid back person, not Type A at all, so it's not like I'm running around wailing Stress! Anxiety! It's nicely internalized like any good Midwesterner but my body bears the brunt of it. Ah well, things could always be worse so one must buck up like a good little soldier and carry on.

So after this weekend, my internet access will be limited to driveby Starbucks and a lonely 12kb dialup modem in Indiana. I will be driving across country with two dogs and my ipod. I will be spending some time in the Hoosier state and some time in the Buckeye state before heading down to the Crab state.

What I am hoping to do for you is document my journey. You always wanted to see that scary big ass 150ft white cross off of I-70 in Effingham, Illinois, haven't you? Oh I will take a picture of it for you. I will also take pictures of gas stations in Missouri with their genuine walnut bowls for sale. I will take pictures of barren corn fields in Indiana. I will take a picture of Cleveland for you. I will take pictures of I don't even know what in Pennsylvania and wherever the hell else I have to drive through to get down to the Crab. God, I think maybe New Jersey might be involved. I may do a little mono-blogging while on this journey. I will upload these missives when/if I can.

Doesn't that sound like fun? Come now, a 1126.3 mile journey in my Honda Civic packed with things the movers won't take, two 60lb blacks dogs and me? You are up for that, don't lie to me. I can see it in your eyes, you so want to come with. You are itching to play some serious Texas Hold Em with my dad and me, drink lots of wine in a hottub in Cleveland, and get into a fist fight with me in New Jersey.

In fact, I'm so jealous of myself right now, I can barely stand it. Which is exactly why I am getting the fuck out of the house right now and going off to drink with A because she just called and reminded me that I will be gone in five days and hello, I still have obligations to fill as her gay girlfriend. This is how it has been for weeks now. I don't even know me anymore.

I'll check in when I can, post pictures and vids if possible, and think about you fondly while going slightly crazy for all the right and wrong reasons. Stay out of trouble until then, I shall miss all three of you who read this blog! See you in rehab!



Not driving away from myself
It's just myself drove away from me
And now I gotta get it back and it goes so fast, so I am traveling again

- Traveling (I) - Dar Williams

liveblog cleveland

Update #1 (Wed): After a 5.5 hour drive, I arrived in Cleveland right before it started raining. Vodka tonic. Beers. Meatpie. Hottub. Friends. Yay!

Update #2 (Thurs): Mimosas in the morning, casual cooking, music, a bit of football, some quiet time now to chill out before diving back into the whole cooking/eating/drinking/hottub business. The best part: It's snowing!

Update #3 (Fri): Did you know that yesterday evening, there was a Hannah Montana marathon on from 7pm until midnight?

Update #4 (Fri): Been playing guitar and/or percussive instrument since 11am. It is now 5. Fingers very very sore. First round of leftovers. 4th beer.

Update #5 (Sat): Diet pepsi, quiet morning, there's still snow on the ground. I have been internally debating whether to drive back today instead of tomorrow to avoid the traffic and do some prep for the upcoming big week. I will get talked out of this easily.

Update #6 (Sun): Back in DC but not after eating a ton, drinking a variety of beverages, sitting in a hottub while it snowed (see a pix of me naked below), rocking out to Heart on Guitar Hero, and communing with my people. Good times. I'm hoping to survive this upcoming week and then I'll be gold. How you doing?

This is the one

In addition to footfalls the size of Yao De-Fen (world's tallest woman, FYI), the upstairs neighbors own what I assume to be a tiny wooden mallet which they are using to hammer nails into the floorboards for no apparent reason I can conjure. Therefore, I hate them.

So with that in mind, I will briefly also tell you that I have 'hottub arm' which I sustained this past weekend while in Cleveland. Apparently, if you hang out in the hottub for a long period of time doing nothing but bringing a glass of mimosas to your mouth, you possibly tear a rotator cuff or weaken a key muscle in your shoulder and become unable to lift heavy objects. Best to stick to tiny wooden mallets. Or tiny wooden hands. The more you know...

What else? I am attending a scotch tasting class tomorrow eve and am excited about that. I'll prep a webinar on it after and invite you all. Are you not interested in learning about the classic malts? There will be a pop quiz involving questions such as Is this fabulous or fantastique? and Have we tried this one? Which one do we like? Etc etc.

Oh, and the baby goats have arrived on the farm. This is not a euphemism. I'm excited and hopeful about the whole thing.

I need a nap now, goodnight!

And a pinch of apathy!

So I am back from a trip to the country. Re-acclimating myself to being a bitch in the city. Nah, I'm kidding. I'm a ray of sunshine these days. As a result, I have decided to cancel my trip to Cleveland this weekend because I really can't deal with traveling again, need a weekend to recover/deal/cope/etc.

I'm starting to feel as if I have nothing left to say on this blog. I can't really bear to discuss pop culture or politics - those topics are already a 24/7 intrusion as it is. Plus also I'm sort of not feeling like talking about myself much either which was like 99.5% of the content of this blog I think so that leaves me with trying to find & stretch .5% worth of content unrelated to me/myself/I.

Puppies! Kittens! Rainbows! Infinity! Ennui! Torpor! Etc!

It's always mimosa time

So this weekend, my old grad school friend from Cleveland braved the blizzard over in O-hi-o and is here visiting. She drove and got out on Friday, but could only make it to Fredrick, MD before she had had enough, drove the rest of the way on Sat. As it was, it took her like 8 hours to get there, when the trip on a normal day would be 5.5 or 6. Anyway, she's here and we've been catching up/drinking wine/eating/listening to music. Yay!

Yesterday, we went into Dupont Circle and had brunch at Kramerbooks. It was lovely - mimosas! Then we headed over to Eastern Market which was my first time there and which was smaller than I thought it would be. Not entirely sure I'd go again, but maybe in the summer when there's more booths/stuff. I don't know..my tolerance for browsing booths of silver jewerly and wooden knicknacks/whatnot has never been high. Surprise!

I'm taking the day off today from work to hang out some more. We haven't quite figured the plan (I've got one of those negotiate-the-impossible conference calls in the middle of the day) but we may go up to Baltimore. Then again, we may just hang and cook and drink wine and repeat. It's all good, yay for friends!

We built on the river

Well hello there November, where did you come from? This is what I have been asking myself for five days. I have no easy answers except sands through the hourglass/days of my lives.

What has happened since the Bed Bug Scare 09 you may ask? I have been to Chicago twice in that time, had 11 conference calls, spent approximately 3 hours stuck in Beltway traffic, consumed scotch like there was no tomorrow, and achieved world peace. It's been a busy 2.5 weeks.

Travel-wise, I thought I was going to slow down, but I've got three more trips in the very near future: upstate New York (oh Albany, why can't I quit you?), Kansas, and Cleveland. The best part, however, is that these are all personal trips, not business. What that means is that the only bullshitting I will be required to do is for fun, not profit. Of course, I am most looking forward to my trip back home and some serious down time on my friends' farm.

It is what is keeping me going at this point, especially after falling into the trap of becoming the type of person you have to be in this city. Or I guess, the city just brings out the worst of who I already was? I have been mulling it over, but it will be nice to go back home and be who I was/am. O Existential Angst! O Moral Ennui! O Etc!

What else? Took the Big Dog to the vet today to check out a lump. Do they have a Susan G Komen Race for dogs? It is not that dire yet or confirmed, but there will be a removal/biopsy of the mammary tissue. At this point, it's premature to get all anxious about it, but it is there to be dealt with.

This post is becoming Debbie Downer so I shall end on a high note. I will be seeing Dar Williams this Saturday. Live music = good for the soul.

All the voices in your head

Well, glory be! This time, I am actually able to post to the blog. I'm not going to question how or why this particular attempt was special and worked, I will only suggest that the cosmos is choosing to shine its light upon me and this revelation:

Laura Branigan is going to make a comeback in 2007, mark my words. Oh shit..I literally just followed that link, I had no idea she died three years ago. Geez, I feel like a total tool. I really had no idea. I was sitting in the parking lot today in front of a suburban Maryland Barnes and Noble and her song Self-control came on and I was like, man, I totally fucking loved Laura Branigan back in the day. Hello, Gloria? I played that damn 45 record (yes) over and over again. Seriously, those tumultuous junior high days were all about Laura Branigan (and then, high school was all about Prince, but that's another story for another day). I just can't believe I either didn't know or forgot she died. Wow. I guess the cosmos isn't shining that hard on me. Damn. RIP, Laura, RIP.

This does allow me the opportunity to tell you about my iPod misadventure/heartbreak/meltdown/partial revival. Which I know no one cares but me and the people who love my sanity, but bare with me. I won't go into boring details about this new laptop and how iTunes' default setting is autosync with your library and how my library only contained 183 songs I had purchased while my iPod had over 1400+ songs I had imported from CD and then gave some of those CDs away to friends because why would I need them now and you know I had to switch computers and all my stuff was on my iPod and I was happy and no I didn't back that shit up it matters not because what was done was done. So in Cleveland, I borrowed some of M's cds and imported them to add to my iPod (e.g., two Sleater-Kinney cds (holla 3from60!), a Rusted Root (don't judge), and Squirrel Nut Zippers (good old timey speakeasy music!). Later that night, after some hottubbing and some beverages and stuff, I went to play my iPod on their stereo and discovered in horror that everything on my iPod had been replaced with my iTunes library (i.e., 183 songs) and thus, lost 1200+. Needless to say, I was crushed. Seriously. If you could have seen/heard me...not a pretty sight. I actually might have cried.

So I was in denial for a while about this whole situation. I refused to believe it was true. I could not even deal with the idea of having to A) remember and reimport all that I had on there and B) see A. So here is where I tell you about the wonders of ilolo technologies Search and Recover 4 software (available at your finer Staples stores). I had tried some lameass file recovery program I downloaded for free off the internet but to no avail. This program fucking worked (caveat: for the most part, I will return to this point later). It was easy to use and I'm going to try to get my 2006 pictures back that I deleted as well. I highly recommend it.

The only downsides (and there were two) were that I didn't exactly get everything back from my iPod's deleted file/memory. In some cases, I got the whole CD and every song on it (yea!), in other cases, I got only a few tracks from a whole CD (awww). The other downside is that it took the program, literally, about 6 hours to recover the files. I just let it run on its own and went to bed. The next morning, I was able to import all those recovered files into iTunes library and we are almost good to go. Now I just have to replace a few songs here/there. Trust me, I am not complaining, esp since I was the dumbass who got suckered into that default autosync thing. Seriously, that is a major black hole to fall into so beware if you have different computers for your iTunes library or like me, you don't back shit up. Lesson fucking learned, iPod, lesson learned.

And this is the point where you are wondering why you even care about my excruitatingly detailed dorkfest. You are not alone, I'm with you, sister. I'm just so damn happy that blogger's letting me post again (for now). Fear the cosmos!

Now I am off to download Gloria, in memoriam. Because, you know, if everybody wants you, why isn't anybody callin', you don't have to answer, leave 'em hangin' on the li-ine, oooohhhoooh....


ps. Also giving a long-distance shout-out to someone across time/space! Hang in there just a little longer...

Paint drying, grass growing, wind blowing

I wish I had more to report than stories about my poker prowess (final table yesterday, but alas, I lost patience and the cards did not fall my way. I was, however, the final woman standing and gave the guys a run for their money. I consider that a success even if I didn't make the money cut).

I am reluctantly bumping up my timeframe to head on over to The Crab. The Agent is getting antsy all under the guise of 'missing the dogs'. Plus, I suppose it's probably a good idea to get there and you know, figure out where things are, like oh, say the grocery store and a dog park or two and last/not least, the nearest liquor store. Before that, I shall spend St. Patricks day in Cleveland. There will be drinking and music and good food and a hottub. If I could add one more thing to that mix (um), I'd call it a day.

So yes. Things are slow here. But what has been amusing me is the whole time change thing. As you may/may not know, for many many years, Indiana was one of the few states that did not adhere to that whole time change business. Growing up, that whole idea was foreign to me. When I moved out of state, I literally would get just a teensy bit angst about when I would have to "spring ahead/fall back" because hello, we never learned that shit. We were either on Ohio time or an hour behind. That's how we measured it. Well, I followed from afar the big stink the Hoosier peeps were having about going with the time change I think last year or something? You thought abortion was a hot political topic? Try daylight savings time in Indiana. Lordy. So this whole past week leading up to last night, the local papers and news programs have been on this constant "Now remember, turn your clocks ahead an hour this Sat. That's an hour ahead now. Don't forget". And guess what? Just as I finished writing that sentence, I answered a call on my dad's phone from one of their friends (who mistook me for my stepmom) and the first thing out of whoever that woman's mouth was "I just remembered, we have to set our clocks ahead, don't we? What time is it over there?" and I said "It's noon" and she goes "I thought so, but I was looking at the TV and it said 11 so I wanted to call and make sure. Thanks. Goodbye". I am not kidding, I just had that conversation.

You know, sometimes, I miss this state and all its quirky little charm. I mean, come on, doesn't this picture just call to you? When you sing "There's more than corn, in Indiana...", you know you are engaging in just a little bit of wishful thinking. Me? I've always been a little partial to corn fields and pickup trucks. I just never know what time it is here anymore..no one does.

bob's your uncle

Yeah, so I'm outta here for the weekend. I'm worn down again and need to go recharge so I'm off to Cleveland to hang with my friends + beverages + cooking + music-making + too hot in the hottub, woo!

Very necessary because I've been laboring too much and need a day. See ya!

lets put our heads together/start a new country up

Well clearly I've been very busy selecting my new blog template which has totally cut into my posting time. You know how it is, picking out the scheme..choosing the colors..psychologically adapting to visual change..attempting to see if you can figure out how to edit and/or change and/or configure and/or do anything remotely graphically design-related and realizing sadly that no, though you may have many skills, that is not one of them and/or admitting defeat in light of that.

..which is a long way of not saying that I've been near-death busy at work and near-breakdown-too-many-fucking-ppl-in-this-city on the metro to deal. So yeah, pretty blue colors. Too bad I couldn't add anything more original than that. (ETA: Though I did add a button where you can play my "radio station" from last.fm which I think is a pretty alright widget thing in the grand scheme of widgets and things).

I may try to liveblog a bit from my Thanksgiving excursion but to be honest, I will be way too busy soaking in a hottub in Cleveland and consuming alcoholic beverages and whatnot to think about getting on this computer much. But you never know, I may have to break in just to gloat about my Jayhawks beating Missouri on Saturday in *gasp* football. What is this, some kind of bizarro universe we are living in? I do not understand this football ranking (#2!?) and possibly BCS bound business I speak of. Does not compute. And naturally such things must occur when I am no longer there to fully appreciate it. Nice. However, I shall be staying with fellow Jayhawks and trust me, we will be watching that game. Hello.

And with that, I bid you a safe holiday. See you on the road in Pennsylvania and/or Ohio with the millions of other suckers traveling. Adieu to you.

ps. In case I have never mentioned it and you have never clicked on the hotspots I have linked over to the right, my old skool blog-crush Mimi Smartypants is consistently HI-larious and today she made me laugh very hard. For god's sake, she's still on Diaryland if that tells you how old skool she is, but man she brings it plus is also Midwestern which is always bonus in my book. Check her out.

ain't too early/ain't too late

Hi from glorious Oklahoma, where it's actually not as hot as DC. A first, perhaps.

So yes, I am in the City of Oklahoma which is kinda spread out and which I have only passed through once. Seems nice enough, I certainly am not going to malign the state that bottoms my favorite one. Many years ago, my Cleveland friend and I drove down to her hometown of Tulsa for Halloween. Let us just say it was a night of mezcal and a next morning of having to pull over on the drive back so my friend could relive the worm over and over again. Not a pretty sight. So that is Oklahoma for me. This time, of course, was like 100X more business-like and stern negotiation and bad cop/good cop. (I am always the good cop in these scenarios somehow - which is weird b/c if you know me, you know what a bitch I can be when given the right circumstances/incentives).

Anyway, it's been ok, but the overriding theme has been knowing that this is the last one of these trips I need to make for this project and one more on another and then done. I really hate to keep talking about work on this thing, it seems to be the same thing over and over again like when I was Metro bitching. Bear with me, I may actually get a life when things slow down so I can start talking about things like whatever it was I used to do and enjoy. Vice? Corruption? Sex? The City? Scratch that last one, please. All skate - now reverse!

And with that, I bid you goodnight from the middle of the country where I am tantalizingly close to where I want to be. I even felt a twinge of homesickness when I had a few beers in the hotel bar and it was karaoke night and a bunch of locals in cowboy hats were singing Willy Nelson. It's come to that, yes.

Instead, I have this to look forward to when I return - the bane of my current existence!

Hoosier daddy?

Hello from Indiana - the red part of the state!



So I am visiting my dad for just a few days, I have to drive back to the city on Monday, but until then, I am soaking up some serious Midwest. I played the shit out of poker yesterday - Texas Hold'Em to be exact. They like their gambling and their smoking in this part of the country - I probably second-hand smoked a carton of Marlboro's yesterday while kicking ass in the cash game. Small sacrifices to hone one's poker skills.

I was in Cleveland over Thanksgiving and it was much needed - lots of cooking and sipping beverages and hanging in hottub and playing music and Wii and sitting by the fire and talking and laughing and you know, living. It's nice to do that on occasion.

It's snowing now and the weather is supposed to be shitty all around so good thing not driving back today. Here is the baby dog looking out into my dad's backyard while it snows and while she watches the squirrels. I left the big dog back with the agent for this trip so it's just baby dog and me. I woke up this morning and she was snoring in my face with her head on my pillow. Dogs..



I'm going to take a trip to see my old home town and my old house, check things out a bit and maybe take a picture or two. I am much appreciating the open space and cornfields, definitely gives me a chance to breathe. We all need a dose of that once in a while I say. Or at least I do. You city folk can have your constant noise and a million people if it works for you - whatever floats your boat/makes you happy and hello, in the profound words of that philosopher Sheryl Crow: If it makes you happy, it can't be that bad (which quite frankly I think is a fallacy because presumably doing meth makes some people happy but no one is out saying 'smoke it if you got it', you know?).

Where was I? Oh yes, northern Indiana. I ain't complaining.