Good head, huh?

Sadly, it's come to this. You've heard of phone sex. Maybe you've even "talked" about some pressing "issues" with your gf/bf/lover/dad/cousin. Last night. Or whatever. I don't judge.

But have you ever heard of phone beer?

As you know, I have a long distance straight girlfriend, A. We tried to replace me when I left, but that turned into a half-assed failure on the part of the two straight people (guy and girl) who tried to be the kind of gay girlfriend I was. (Future reference: don't let a strai do the work of a gay).

Anyway, A then decided that I would simply become her long distance gay girlfriend. Hence, a thousand texts and emails about shopping, guys, shoes, her hair, what a whore she's become, drinking, tank tops, capris, jizz, etc etc. You get the picture. Nothing has really changed except me not actually being there.

However, we've stepped up the LDR a bit and we are now engaging in phone beer together. It's all her fault as the following email exchange back/forth shows:

A: Can you tell I'm drunk?!

(This in reference to pictures she sent from our favorite drinking establishment. And for the record, the short/long answer as depicted in said pictures was a resounding Hell Yeah)

Me: yes, you have 'drunken whore' written all over your face

A: it was a blast! you should have been there. :)

Me: thanks for reminding me that i can't be!

A: well, you just need to come back and visit. or, i'll just come out there. so...stop bothering me. i can have a phone beer with you tonight


So yeah, when you can't be there to drink with your peeps in person, there's always phone beer to satisfy your needs. Good times, good times..

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to take this call and you know, I'm gonna need both hands ifyouknowwhatImeanandIthinkyoudo!