object and thing

Ah, well, here I am again. Saying things. However, I am now able to do so because I have spent/am spending this weekend totally recharging my battery and it is working. You know, if I can't be out on a prairie in Kansas to recharge, I can learn to adapt to my new environment in productive and healthy ways.

So naturally, Fri night I drank like a lifetime of vodka tonics and went to a girl bar in DC with two of the three ppl I know in this city. Here's a hint: This is an example of what I should not have done and that whole learning to adapt process. When you are sick of dealing with people, or missing certain people, or at the end of your rope, or having an existential crisis about being Too Much Alone In This World, Yet Not Alone Enough, the last place you want to be is in a noisy small bar on lesbian-on-Fri-nights-only-night that's cranking Soulja Boy or whatever and having a "playa" come up on yo ass and dry hump it like this actually works for her? I think I shall pass. One more Stoli and tonic please. Why am I here? Who are these people? If a butterfly flaps its wings in Tibet, will that make this night end any faster? Short answer to all of the above = 42.

So, yesterday, with lesson learned firmly in place, I approached my day differently. I called Canada in the morning, I went and had a massage, and then for the rest of the day, I made it a point/priority/goal not to see or talk to another human being. This is what I am talking about. I took the dogs for a long long walk in the woods near here, checked out leaves and stuff on the ground, let them wade around in a creek running through the woods, listened to nothing but crunching of my feet, saw only two or three people way off in the distance, breathed fresh fresh crisp air. You have no idea. Then I came back and listened to music, spent a long leisurely time cooking (lasagna), chilled the fuck out basically. I slept hard, dreamed about crazy shit, and didn't get up until 930 this morning.

I intend to do similar things today with again a heavy emphasis on no human contact or conversation. That is clearly the key for me this weekend. I'm doing some laundry, will clean a little bit as the motivation hits me, maybe watch some football, have yummy leftovers, and read a new book I got, The Map That Changed the World. I will not get out of my sleep pants and tshirt. I will not get in my car. I will not wash my hair. I will pretend people don't exist in my world for a while longer. I will not think about work or the metro or that city or anything that remotely causes any amount of mental stress/anguish/ennui. You with me on that? Life will be good again.