asteroid at 5 o'clock = end times!

So a couple of things in no particular order for no particular reason:

1. After watching football today, I'm capping off the evening with one of my favorite things: Disaster Porn! Have you ever noticed how many shows on the History Channel or National Geographic are all about megadisasters and the like? It's awesome! I love entertaining those last few seconds before a black hole sucks us all in. Apparently, our bodies will be ripped apart and skin torn off. Good times! Tomorrow on the History Channel it's all about what happens to the earth when people cease to exist. It is called Life After People. You already know I love that shit. Don't miss it.

2. I have somehow managed to slice both of my thumbs deeply without knowing the how or the when. Like I'd literally do nothing and then look down and see blood and a cut and have no idea how it happened. I have my theories (and they don't involve drugs/alcohol/mental illness) but no proof. Our ultimate demise is going to come via a series of small invisible cuts to our most valuable body parts. Like our thumbs. Or hearts. And we won't even notice it's happening until it's too late, right? It's just a working theory though so I could be wrong. Waiting on more data/injury.

3. I was at Home Depot today with the agent looking at potential countertops and flooring for her house. This was loads of fun. It is my favorite thing. I love pouring over laminates and matching tiles. I am being facetious. This is my worst nightmare. This is why gay men and/or interior designers exist Which is not a knock on my brethern. Some people have an eye for such things. I only have opinions. Not a big fan of laminate. Pass on oak. Are we done yet? I will be in the tool section crying over the table saw I had to sell on craigslist. I have not used my dremel in over a year. I miss wood. Not oak though. The end.

4. Remember that walk in the woods the other day? With the video and the snow and the Canadian? Yeah. That was nice. *sigh* But I found a tick on the baby dog yesterday right by her eye. I thought it was just eye goop and didn't think anything of it until I realized it was round. And tick-like. Who knew Maryland ticks can live in winter? Answer=the tick that I pulled off and sent on her way to the big dog in the sky that is who. Just an FYI.

5. I wish I could report something more interesting than the fact that I went to Petsmart on Sat to buy dog food and someone simply let their dog take a shit in aisle 36 and left it there for me to step in. I am living the life you can only dream of and wish for, admit it.

Everyone's a building burning
with no one to put the fire out.
Standing at the window looking out,
waiting for time to burn us down.
Everyone's an ocean drowning
with no one really to show how.
They might get a little better air
if they turned themselves into a cloud

- Blame it on the Tetons - Modest Mouse