You can quote me on that

So I agreed to help out a journalist do a story on some old research of mine and I am now regretting that decision. Naturally, he's got a deadline of Monday so the turn around time for fact-checking etc will be short. I told him I'd rather do it all through email than actually talk on the phone (easier to formulate appropriate answers and avoid misquotes) plus I have been incredibly phone-aversive lately. I don't know what it is, it certainly isn't a reflection on the people calling me, I do want to talk to the majority of them, I just..I don't know. I've been turning my phone off and not returning calls. To top off that bit of anti-socialism, today while we were out and about at lunch and browsing at a bookstore, I had a sudden and intensely deep dislike of the human race. That ever happen to you? You're just going about your business when all of a sudden, something sets you off, like say, an arrogant frat boy sitting in the bookstore talking on his cell loudly about how he drinks lots of cranberry juice and I am like what the fuck, I don't give a shit about your bladder infection or whatever the fuck you have you motherfucking goddamned asshole, shut the fuck up! I mean, like that, I am spouting off obscenities in my head like a sailor over something really stupid and directed towards another human being simply for existing. I actually mostly like people. I am very social. I enjoy having conversations. Today, however, I am in the worst mood for no apparent reason and I fear if I am around people, I will possibly end up in the paper under the heading: Mild-mannered Midwestern Gal Suddenly Hates People and Snaps. Subheading: Arson, Plague, and Scathing Bitchery Follow in Her Wake. So to head that whole thing off, I am going out to the garage to sort through shit and cry about the loss of my fabulous workshop, cursing a certain government agency and their stupid openings in stupid Dumb City. Does this make you want to hang with me right now? Come on over and feel my wrath! Actually, I think I just totally need to get laid in a bad way. There, how's that quote for your damned newspaper, printboy?!

ETA: Oh. Duh. Well, that explains yesterday. Someone out there's breathing a sigh of relief because at least now I know I'm not pregnant!