It can make you gack

So it's kinda crazy here, we're having this damn open house today to try to get someone to buy this awesome place so we (I) have to clean the shit out of the it and then haul the dogs off to god knows where for 2 hours. I spent much of yesterday cleaning. I will spend the next 3 hours cleaning. It's not that we're that dirty, but you know how people are when they're looking at your place with intent to buy: "My god! Did they really choose that awful green patterned duck wallpaper for this bathroom? No way I could live here!" (For the record, no we didn't. The elderly gentleman who lived here before picked it out, blame him, gdamn it!)

Anyway, one of the tasks we're going to do while we're out of the house is take the dogs to the vet for some maintanance. I regret what I am about to tell you because it is graphic and gross but I trust you will look away if you must. These two black dogs that we have are the only dogs I've ever had (and I've had several over my lifetime) who had a problem with the proper workings of their anal sacs. Look away now! See, usually, dogs just naturally...expel...what we refer to as "The Funk" from these sacs when they go about their business. But sometimes, that does not happen like it should. Look away! So they get filled up and then they will leak at random times when you are not expecting it, like before an open house. And you will go: Wait, what's that sme...oh. Anal sac. I shall not describe the smell and only say that this is something humans do not find very pleasant. When that happens with any regularity, one must take their dogs into the vet for a procedure I am all too happy to pay nine bucks for. Look away! The vet will insert his finger into the dog's anal area and squeeze these sacs until they empty. Yes, it is as nasty as it sounds. And thank fucking god someone can be paid to do it! Good times, good times. The Agent and I have, over the years, developed a little rap type song we sing whenever one of the dogs has this issue. Here are a couple of samples for your pleasure:

What's so strong
it'll make you gack?
It's anal sac! Anal sac!

Got a smell that'll
make you step back?
It's anal sac! Anal sac!

Trust me, this will stick in your brain for days if you dare sing it. I plan to use it as a spoken word piece in my next video. Look away!

Finally, we are supposed to get snow tonight/tomorrow. I say "supposed" to get snow because everytime they say it will be anything over 5 inches, it's only ever 1 or 2. Kinda like a guy (or so says my straight girlfriend). I'm hoping for big inches but we will see. It looks potentially promising: