"I want a red dress. I want it flimsy and cheap." - Kim Addonizio
Hey, I'm back from Hoosierland and doing the bridesmaid thing. Originally, my plan called for being pretty much drunk 24/7 while I was there to cope/deal with the whole situation + extra stuff. Sadly, I was mostly sober and for that, I am dissappointed in myself. As a result, I was acutely aware of how drunk and/or crazy and/or drama-filled = my sister and her friends and what's left of my family.
I was also acutely aware of the whore red dress I had to wear. Hey, I don't begrudge someone a red dress, I just felt a bit out of my element. Remember when I thought it was dusty-rose like my old prom dress? Nope. I brought it back here b/c I think I can earn some serious cash on the DC corners in that thing. Whore-red should totally be (and probably is) the name of nail polish or lipstick or the dress of a stripper that I now own. There are pictures yes. I will not be sharing any of them except for one below and that is only to show you the color and the fact that I ditched the hooker shoes right after the ceremony for a pair of flipflops. Yeah, it was that kind of classy affair (ps. That hairy man-arm on the left is my brother who sat next to me at the bar and who tried to pick up the woman who did my sister's hair. And also any other woman there not married. To no avail.)
Hey, I'm back from Hoosierland and doing the bridesmaid thing. Originally, my plan called for being pretty much drunk 24/7 while I was there to cope/deal with the whole situation + extra stuff. Sadly, I was mostly sober and for that, I am dissappointed in myself. As a result, I was acutely aware of how drunk and/or crazy and/or drama-filled = my sister and her friends and what's left of my family.
I was also acutely aware of the whore red dress I had to wear. Hey, I don't begrudge someone a red dress, I just felt a bit out of my element. Remember when I thought it was dusty-rose like my old prom dress? Nope. I brought it back here b/c I think I can earn some serious cash on the DC corners in that thing. Whore-red should totally be (and probably is) the name of nail polish or lipstick or the dress of a stripper that I now own. There are pictures yes. I will not be sharing any of them except for one below and that is only to show you the color and the fact that I ditched the hooker shoes right after the ceremony for a pair of flipflops. Yeah, it was that kind of classy affair (ps. That hairy man-arm on the left is my brother who sat next to me at the bar and who tried to pick up the woman who did my sister's hair. And also any other woman there not married. To no avail.)
Confirming your worst fears about me
Hope your weekend was a good one. I start working for The Man tomorrow so alas, I will be a bit busier these days, which is good for a variety of reasons. I have some friends coming into town this week and man, I haven't even told you about going to my 20th high school reunion this coming weekend! Holla! Class of '87 represent!
Gotta run and actually get some sleep, but one last picture from the wedding reception which was held at the local Elks lodge. This one's for you, Ms. Snarker!
5 comments:
Howdy sweetie, um...yeah! I kind of like that dress or is it the leg that it drapes. Woo hoo. The flip flops are cool but a pair of Monolo Blahniks...stop me, okay.
My girl loves to see me in Monolo Blahniks. And I mean just-a-pair of Manolo Blahniks and I thought I had a fet...um, liking for heels.
Sweetie, since you didn't get drunk at the reception...you still have the high school reunion to redeem yourself. Have fun babes and good luck with the job.
Darling, just admit it...there was no "wedding," there is no "corporate job"...you are whoring on the streets of DC now, aren't you? If only you had accepted Ron Perlman's offer...
babes...hehehehe. Sorry, I just had to laugh at Vivvy's comment. You on the streets of DC, um...ah, it never entered my mind.
Lord, I’ve been so busy this week, I didn’t even have a chance to get all misty-eyed about the old Stars and Torch. I’m pretty sure the stars represent something and I’m pretty sure I can’t remember what that is. A Hoosier flag in an Elks Lodge, girl, it don’t get no better than that.
szj: I think alcohol will be the only way to get through the reunion. Of course, I said that about my sister's wedding and failed to follow through. We shall see..
v: You have blown my cover, sweetie! ps. It is only whoring if you get paid for it, which I do.
ms. snarker: The Elks lodge had a euchre league that meets on Tuesdays = how it got even better.
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