I will be much more brief in this post: Do not allow your straight girlfriend to drink whiskey on a Monday night because she will sign you up for a facebook account so she can "write shit on your wall when you are in Dumb City" and "post stupid pictures of you for all my friends to laugh at, like this one! ha! You are so gay in this one, look!"
Jesus, so now I have this damned facebook thing except it's a little too non-anonymous for my taste (you know I love my secret identities!) and all I need now is a myspace and a xanga account and I can relive my young adulthood when we didn't even have computers, much less things like "blogs". Those were called diaries. And they involved pen and paper and candlelight while Pa whittled by the fireplace and Ma fretted over baby Carrie and baby Grace and I practiced writing Mrs. Almonzo Wilder over and over again. In my diary. Fuck, I need a job. And more drugs. And loose women. I do not ask for much.
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7 comments:
Facebook? Street cred out the window, Big Poppa.
And you know something? Our cover is so deep I don't even know what our real names are anymore. Perhaps we are archetypes. You are the sun, I am the moon. You are Starsky, I am Hutch. You are Ashley, I am...Spencer's old fat aunt from Ohio.
p.s. you are so gay.
You try resisting a whiskey-drunk straight woman demanding to write on your "wall"! I dare you..
p.s. you are so gay
God, don't I know it, sweetie, don't I know it..
I think myspace re-creates the giddy loveliness of the yearbook, except that your friends can "sign" and tell you how much they heart you all the time, not just at the end of the year and in the space you penciled out for them and drew hearts around with a totally special flourished version of their name, followed by "my BFF" or whatevs.
I'm not on facebook and I've never seen it, but my ex-boyfriend on the phone last night told me how "cool" it was that he had just joined and put in that he went to oxford. I don't know what's cool about that, besides that he's not my problem anymore. Then we argued about how gay I am.
Girl Who Wins Automatically: I was wondering if you would you be my long distance bisexual girlfriend? I totally read your list of
"requirements" and could maybe swing half of them from here. Plus I am very adept at text-sexing so you know, we can work around your schedule and mine. We're both very busy. If not, we can just "friend" each other and call it a day..
Shouldn't that be called 'sexting'? Three years in a long distance relationship had me pretty good at that as well.
Ha...babes, I'm with you on that. They can say "That's so gay" and it is really, but I'm still with you.
I like the want a job. More drugs and loose women. Ha! Throw in a few tall handsome cowboys and it's like being back in college. Those were the days huh? God, I miss those cowboy boots and spurs. It feels like it was just last weekend.
Sweetie let your straight girlfriend sign you up. She needs this. If she posts funny pictures and stuff, I promise I will not laugh...hehehehe...just a little okay.
3from: Call it what you may, you know what I'm saying..or rather, texting ;)
SZJ: There will be no posting of gay pictures of me, it might be too much for you to handle!
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