President of Dumb City

Hey, remember when I went to the White House for bunch and whatnot? Well the pictures finally arrived of me and your favorite cartoon character. Apparently it takes about 2 months of planning for the WH to devise an exit strategy for digital publicity glad-handing photos.

Unfortunately, I had to take a pix of a pix with my blurry blackberry camera b/c I lost the connector to my camera in the Great Cord Loss of 08. Anyway, you get the picture (get it?):



Oh, and here is a picture taken sometime on Saturday of this weekend when I pulled a marathon session at the B.Porter building. It's a blurry view of DC from downstairs right after a pretty awesome thunderstorm had moved through. I only happened to notice that there was actually weather that day because I took a minute to go buy caffeine to get me through something very tedious with someone very annoying.But enough bawlbabying, it ain't no big thang, I'm still slow-walking on the Metro and breathing deep. Yeah, that's how I roll.

word=bird

Despite running around like a chicken/head cut off, I can still appreciate a good smirk.

Down with OPP

As I was saying to V, O how I wish for the halcyon days of mimosas and the gays! It feels like a lifetime ago. Alas/alack, I have been spun into the whirlwind of accounting and contracting. Yes, a psychologist attempting to interpret budget dreams. Ironically, it really is all about whose is bigger. And to take this metaphor even further, a cigar would end up costing $7.4mil, fully loaded with fringe, G&A, and fee. That is a large cigar and frankly, as much as I like to smoke one now and then, I always regret it in the morning. I don't even know where I am going with this anymore, better just build in enough ODCs to make it work.

HELP!! I want to go back to my own life!

Promises: The musical!

Well the inevitable has happened: My Promises bunkmate Viv has been kicked out of Yaddo (again) for trying to sneak a Skidmore co-ed into her room after curfew (again). Apparently Patty Highsmith's detailed instructions about such activities are no longer legible on the gin-soaked napkin my dear friend keeps tucked in her bosom. Pity.

But Yaddo's loss is our gain! Yes, your friend and mine has chosen to summer this weekend in the District. With Lilo and Sam in NYC this weekend, V felt it best to escape the media circus that would have ensued upon her return -- it is a little known fact that Linds' infamous cokepants were in fact a pair of Vivvy's capris she had indiscreetly left behind in Sam's dj booth last year. Quel le scandal!

Our tour schedules have been so hectic, it's been quite impossible to coordinate brunch and such. So this visit should finally allow us to finish our much delayed screenplay Hoboken or Bust for the annual Promises Reunion Talent Show. [FYI, we are currently casting and are seeking a Charo - must love coochie (coos). Interested parties please send headshot and guitar demo. Thanks.]

So yes, I have prepared my literary hero her own writing studio complete with a brand new bottle of Stoli, candy gauloises, and a framed photograph of Anais Nin's bare bottom. That should do the trick. Wish us luck!

ETA/FYI: This pretty much defined our weekend.

Attitude adjusted? Check.

Heya, how goes it?

So yes I am back and things are good. Sure it's hotter than hell here, but you know it's ok. I must say, my vacation was clearly much-needed and certainly has adjusted my attitude in the right direction. This is a good thing for me and you and everyone we know.

So I'm still operating on midwestern time, which is pretty much 3-4 X slower than here and I've decided to see if I can slow ride that for awhile/as long as I can. Which functionally means that if you are stuck behind me on the escalator for the Metro or walking down the street or driving behind me while I'm leisurely traversing the Beltway, you should pretty much expect that while I appreciate that you have places to go, as do I, I shall not be rushing/pushing/speeding or even showing so much as a hint of haste.

Yep, this is the good ol' "Ah well, I'll get there when I get there" attitude that I pretty much fell right back into easily. No rush. I'm also going to adopt a variation of this in the workplace, the handy "It'll get done when it gets done". I was reminded that while it's quite ok to work hard, it doesn't make much sense to kill oneself for a job. It is a job, not one's life.

And finally, with regard to that whole "people" issue (the not liking them as much), you know, I let that go out on a green green field. There is no point in holding on to the hate, this too shall pass. We all have our thing and you've got to find a way to adapt/get over it. So about my recent misanthropy: People are people (so why should it be etc). I'm officially Over It.

O Glorious Balance, How this Libra has missed Ye!

Knee-high by 4th of July

Yeah, so I couldn't just leave my computer home, but trust me, I am only using it for pleasure, not business. Off to KS tomorrow, but here's a big old Indiana field near my small town. See the blue skies and green stuff? Most importantly, there's not a person or traffic jam in sight. It's heaven.

TFG

So quickly, I am leaving on Thurs for a much needed vacation. Dear reader, have you noticed that I am a bitter miserable people-hating person right now who is so very near a meltdown/breakdown/ho-down that it is possible that I may not actually even make it to Thurs? Have you noticed my poor attitude and the fact that I am no longer able to breathe?

It's ok if you haven't, I know you're busy. Worrying about my deteriorating mental state is not a part of your job description, it's cool. Let us all trust that 9 days away from Dumb City and my robotech job will partially cure what ails me. I am making myself inaccessible to anyone with a 703 or 202 area code. I will be on a pontoon on a lake in Northern Indiana, I will be in a field with my people in Kansas, I will not be here in this place.

I am also trusting that when(if?) I come back, I will be rested and renewed or at the very least, I will have a plan in place for achieving such a state. There are plans and potentials and possibilities. We shall see what develops. I am hoping this not only for myself, but for the safety of others.

I am contemplating not taking my computer but I promise to take pictures and have stories to tell of what I can only imagine will be exploitations/corruptions/disruptions and all around Midwestern shenanigans. I am going to leave you with a pretty picture taken by (correction) my Canadian tourist on the west coast. I bid you farewell!

When did you get your first tooth?

A meme from Vivvy, to practice "honesty" and "openness" for our upcoming Promises reunion picnic.


01. If your lover betrayed you, what will your reaction be?

Major emotional betrayal, I'd probably walk away. Shut them out.

Minor emotional betrayal, I'd take time to process and then work through it with them to get to a point where we both accept where we're at and move on.

02. What's a weird habit you have?

Eating a slice of bread with mustard on it. Nothing else.

03. What's the craziest thing you've done?

Crazy good or crazy bad? I am rarely spontaneous, I like to plan so I can remove 'crazy' from the equation. When I'm spontaneous, it usually means I'm finding crazy bad trouble and embracing it. I'm a hedonist who plans. Which is an oxymoron I think. Welcome to my life!

04. Favorite food, meal or restaurant?

Good Italian - Tuscany restaurant in Chicago; Tex-mex; raspberries, strawberries; Mom's beef and noodles; any meal cooked with good friends/good wine/good times.

05. What is your biggest fear?

Giving in to self-destructive behaviors; not being able to say goodbye; parasites; witnessing abject cruelty and violence with no recourse available; developing a painful, incurable rare disease (and not being able to pull my own plug).

06. What is your favorite magazine?

The Atlantic Monthly, Harpers, National Geographic

07. Do you trust easily?

Friends yes, strangers no. "Trust but verify" = the only useful words that came out of Ronald Reagan's mouth.

08. If you could try any profession other than your own, what would it be?

Geologist, chemist, astronomer.

09. Is there anything that has made you unhappy these days?

Where should I start? Traffic, DC, my current life. Overpopulation, environmental disasters as a result of humans, the geopolitical implications of rising costs and how natural resources are unfairly exploited, blatant corruption with no recourse, downplaying hypocrisy, the future looking more bleak than hopeful, people.

But I love puppies and kittens and walks on the beach!

10. What are you addicted to?

Diet Pepsi, things that feel good, things that are bad for you.

11. What country other than your own would you like to live in?

Australia, Ireland, the French countryside, anywhere with green grass and few people.

12. How old were you when you first got a cell phone?

31. This question is gay and adds nothing of value to this meme. I was 16 when I first lost my virginity. There, that's better. Seriously, this meme starts out with something major like betrayal by a lover and then includes a question about cell phones? As the kids say, wtf.

13. What is your favorite curse word?

Fuck, hands down. Every other curse word is for babies.

14. What is your favorite video game?

Have none, do not play. I like old skool pinball machines though.

15. Would you rather be single & rich or married but poor?

Duh, does anyone choose the latter?

16. How many children do you want to have, if any?

None now. Years ago the answer would have been different.

17. What do you think of tattoos?

Depending on placement and content, some can be sexy. But if we're talking about body mods, I'll take a subtle eyebrow piercing any day.

18. What's the last movie you saw in theaters?

19. What's your favorite movie ever?

Here is a secret: I kinda hate movies. I'm sorry, I know many ppl love them etc. Sure I've watched a bunch in my life, but really, I could give or take them. It's like ice cream in my world, I have to be in the right mood and mindframe to want or enjoy it. Problem is that I rarely am. I don't know the last one I saw in a theater and so few make an impact on me enough to favorite it. Yeah, I know. But I love puppies and kittens and walks on the beach!

20. What is your favorite scent?

Lilac, honeysuckle, bergamot

21. Give an answer to a question that has not been asked in this list but would tell the world 100X more about you than when you first got a cell phone. Do not provide the question itself.

Honestly? Yes. I would.

..if you don't

I'm on a My Morning Jacket kick right now while simultaneously attempting to find fresh air and negotiating the impossible once again. Three days of meetings and barely getting by, this is what's been saving me on the damn Metro.

Click below to download some bootleg MMJ from Bonnaroo and let it sink in, trust me, it will save you.


1. Now we are dealing with something else - Smokin from Shootin


2. What is it inside our heads that makes us do the opposite? Makes us do the opposite of what's right for us? - Librarian


3. I need a human right by my side, untied, untied - Touch Me I'm Going to Scream


8 More days until a vacation..lord help me.

Hot tamales

So I made a batch of tamales today and thought I would share the recipe + px. It was nice to do some cooking, have a beer, some music. Plus hello I know of no one who does not like tamales and if you don't, do not tell me b/c we may have to step down our friendship. Serious.

The filling recipe will make enough for three dozen or so good-sized tamales. The masa recipe I'll give you here will make a dozen tamales. I decided to only make 12ish b/c I ran out of cheese (hello w/o cheese is there a point? answer = no) and the first batch of masa. I decided to not to make another batch of dough so I froze the leftover filling for another time. You can also freeze your tamales if you want to make a whole dang big batch, just undercook them a tad.

I went to the store to pick up the following ingredients:

1 red pepper
1 yellow pepper
2 jalopeno peppers
1 white onion
1 can corn
1 can black beans
1 can fire roasted tomatoes
1 bag of Maseca (easy to make masa)
1 box of chicken stock
1 package of corn husks
1 six pack of Blue Moon Honeymoon summer ale

See below:



First thing I did was separate and soak the dried corn husks in warm water so they'd be all soft and pliable (like I like 'em) when I was ready. About 30 mins or so. I then diced up the peppers and onions and two cloves of garlic and sauted them in oil until it was all tender. It smelled like a carnival where the street venders cook up the peppers and onions for sandwiches or whatever. I did this all in my beloved cast iron skillet (which I will marry in California now that it is legal). See below:



Then I added the corn and black beans and tomatoes and spiced it with cumin and cayenne and chili powder and black pepper. I let that all simmer until everything was soft and gooey and good. In the meantime, I made up a batch of masa according to these directions:

4 cups of Maseca flour
1 tsp salt
1 tsp cayenne
1 tsp cumin
1 tsp black pepper
1 cup oil (olive or veg)
2 1/2 cups of chicken stock

Put all the dry ingredients in a big bowl and mix it up a bit. Then add the oil and mix with your hands. It will be still a bit dry and crumbly. Then add 1/2 cup of chicken stock at a time, mixing with your hands all the way. In the end, it will all be a solid mass sorta like cookie dough.

Now you're ready to assemble. Take a corn husk and pull strips of it length-wise so you'll have ties, keep all the husks soaking or covered with a wet paper towel to keep them moist. Heh. Moist. 12 years old. Carry on. Take a corn husk and unfold it and grab a mid-sized handful of masa. You'll just have to experiment with quantity. I used a spatula to spread it out in the corn husk, leaving the pointed bottom half uncovered so I could fold it up. Put the filling in, I added some chicken I had already cooked up and said cheese. See below:



FYI: during this entire process, you should be consuming beer. Now what you'll want to do is fold the husk over so that the edges of the masa come together and the filling stays inside. Trial and error here, you'll get it. Then you'll have a sorta roll of corn husk. Take a strip of the corn husk you pulled apart and, after folding up the bottom pointed edge of the husk, tie it to the roll. I'll trust you generally know what a tamale is supposed to look like rather than trying to get any more descriptive. Rinse and repeat. Soon you'll have a bunch like this:



You'll have to rig a steaming device or use one you already have. I ended up putting them all in a metal strainer I had and putting that inside a large double broiler type thing with a small amt of water at the bottom and the strainer resting on the lip of the pan (not touching the water). I covered it and am letting it steam cook for about an hour or so. This is kinda the tricky part b/c I have read different times. My friend J said she does it by touch or 30-45mins, some recipes I've seen say 1.5 hours. So who knows. I'm going to do the trial and error method again and check on them and the water every 15 mins after the first 30 mins. Go crazy and live dangerously! Follow no man's limits! Cook your tamales by your own rules, I say.

(ETA: 1 hour and 15 minutes is the right amt of time)

They're cooking now and I'll probably post a pix of the final product, but you know, it will generally look like this pix I took in Houston. Actually, I'll just take a pix if it doesn't look like what a tamale is supposed to look like. That might be more fun.

ETA: Nah, had to take a picture of perfection so here it is, they are yummy:




Anyway, there you go, your own private tamale. Kinda like your own private Idaho. But not. At all, actually.

that time of year again

Hey Ma..thinking about you today.

On the Boulevard

So I managed to carve a little time out of my work in MO to go out to the country a bit to visit my friend's dad - he and I bond over playing good music really loudly and drinking beer. Both of which is what I did until 3am last night and therefore as a result, I was hung like a racehorse today. Really bad metaphor, sorry.

Anyway, point being, I have no one to blame but myself. But hello, we were in the country! It was so quiet and nice and relaxing - we checked out his wood shop which I covet like no one's business, we toured the garden, and then we looked at all the frogs in his frog pond (there were a million tadpoles and tiny frogs and big frogs all hanging out). It was glorious I must say, well worth the pain of feeling like shit today.

I captured some pictures for you of me saying one last Hi from the road.

Oh Boulevard, how I missed ye!




Where my mind will be when I am stuck in traffic tomorrow:




Cheers to you:



Now I am off to bed at 830 because of the above activities. Call me granny, but I'm feeling old and tired. Goodnight!

There's no basement in the Alamo, FYI

Yeah, so I'm off again tomorrow to Mizzurah < -- how some folks in said state pronounce it. This is the last of my 11 work trips in 3 months. I could never cut it as a traveling salesperson selling Fuller Brushes or vacuum cleaners. I could also never be in a band playing the triangle and touring. Nor could I be a waitress in the sky. Or a trucker like Large Marge. Frankly at the rate I am going, I am finding it hard to be someone who must leave the house. But soon it will be done, TFG.

(TFG in my world means Thank Fucking God, but could also mean Totally Fucking Gay, I suppose or Too Far Gone. I don't know, does TFG exist as an internet acronym already? If not, I'm claiming it, I use it enough I should get some credit for LOLing a blaspheme).

Where was I? Yes so travel this week, which in general is kind of a tough week for me in the grand scheme of weeks/days of the year and so I most definitely will be just trying to get by with sanity intact. What is scary is that goal (intact sanity) has been one I've had since I moved to this dang city - time for a new goal I say. I am taking suggestions, please submit yours today and I thank you kindly.

Maybe I shall liveblog from the middle of the country, sort of like a finale episode of my reality show so boring it must be shown on the local Fairfax County Community College cable channel (or some such). Who would not like a finale HI from Jefferson City, MO? The answer = everyone and/or 42. Yeah, it's been one of those months/weeks/days/lives, bear with me!

And with that, I leave you with this:

From Hair to Eternity

I kinda hate making fun of people's hair given that I generally have hairfuck three quarters of the time as it is, so do not consider this making fun of someone's hair. Instead, consider it a trip down memory lane. I have not seen this hair style outside of the state of Missouri or on anyone other than my sister...back in 1983.

The classic early/mid 80's "feather":



DC Metro: Bringing SexyBack

Chapter 1

Apparently, everyone is reading or trying to read books these days and blogging about it. To wit:

Mimi Smartypants is reading books about transgender and passing, China, and India.

Win is reading about LA, shame, and Latino-American characters named Papi.

and my literary girlfriend Vivian Darkbloomis not reading about post-World War II Italy.

What have I read lately, you ask? That question implies that I've unpacked a box containing these things called "books" and then opened one to process what are called "words" on paper. Yeah, hasn't happened. I have managed to make it through every subscription issue of Harpers magazine lately. That is all I I can say. Sad, but true.

I think I would be interested in and be able to read an engaging piece of fiction right now. But as I may have mentioned, I have this total aversion to reading bad fiction and as such, I am weirdly reluctant about just picking a book up and starting it. Which makes it hard to, you know, read. It's really gay, but it drives me crazy to begin a book and then have some quirky writing style thing ruin it for me. I never know what will do it either and that makes it hard for me to choose fiction.

I mean I'll wade through a non-fiction book about turnips, but Barbara Kingsolver? I'd rather rip my eyes out. I always pick on Kingsolver for some reason, but some friend loved her and recommended her so I picked up that book with pigs in the title and I could only read the first two chapters before I realized I hated how she wrote - I think it was that I thought she wrote present tense poorly and it totally threw me out of whatever was going on in the story.

Unfortunately, like with art or music, I only know what I like when I see/hear/read it and that makes it a challenge to just randomly try fiction. I am not adventurous when it comes to reading b/c I don't want to get irritated if I pick a shitty book so I avoid reading any book b/c I don't want to get irritated. It's a vicious and silly/stupid cycle that I am having a hard time breaking the last several years.

So...maybe I will take a baby step on my road to recovery and ask for suggestions? I'd love something that is quirky, funny, not-plodding, not-SF, not too heavy/not too light, engaging/escapey, and has a female protagonist if possible. I ask for the world, I admit.

why i love this city

30 minutes to go 4 blocks = the best thing ever.

ain't too early/ain't too late

Hi from glorious Oklahoma, where it's actually not as hot as DC. A first, perhaps.

So yes, I am in the City of Oklahoma which is kinda spread out and which I have only passed through once. Seems nice enough, I certainly am not going to malign the state that bottoms my favorite one. Many years ago, my Cleveland friend and I drove down to her hometown of Tulsa for Halloween. Let us just say it was a night of mezcal and a next morning of having to pull over on the drive back so my friend could relive the worm over and over again. Not a pretty sight. So that is Oklahoma for me. This time, of course, was like 100X more business-like and stern negotiation and bad cop/good cop. (I am always the good cop in these scenarios somehow - which is weird b/c if you know me, you know what a bitch I can be when given the right circumstances/incentives).

Anyway, it's been ok, but the overriding theme has been knowing that this is the last one of these trips I need to make for this project and one more on another and then done. I really hate to keep talking about work on this thing, it seems to be the same thing over and over again like when I was Metro bitching. Bear with me, I may actually get a life when things slow down so I can start talking about things like whatever it was I used to do and enjoy. Vice? Corruption? Sex? The City? Scratch that last one, please. All skate - now reverse!

And with that, I bid you goodnight from the middle of the country where I am tantalizingly close to where I want to be. I even felt a twinge of homesickness when I had a few beers in the hotel bar and it was karaoke night and a bunch of locals in cowboy hats were singing Willy Nelson. It's come to that, yes.

Instead, I have this to look forward to when I return - the bane of my current existence!

Go honey go

So, more than three years ago, I started this blog with a post about Aimee Mann so I think it's fitting to belatedly celebrate (?) that occasion with another post about her new album, Smilers which just came out and which I am absorbing. Going to have to go out and buy a new ipod connecter so I can listen to this on the go a bit more. I think I like it..

Maybe I should simply start marking time in Aimee Mann units? Oh, those were the Forgotten Arm years, it was all a blur. Ah, Lost in Space were good times, good times. So I'm going to slip into the Smilers era and see what comes of it...


Go, honey go -
Into the ocean
Go, honey go -
Into the great beyond
Til you're good and gone
And you can hide away for
When everything goes wrong
Honey - go

Go, honey go -
If I were you I would
Leave this neighborhood
Away from people who never
Treat you like they should
Honey - go
Go

In the woods or in the ice and snow
Where there is
No one else you know
You've really nowhere
Else to go
So honey go

Go, honey go
Cause it's a dead end street
And it's a street in a town
Where winning isn't sweet
And every win
Is the beginning of defeat
So honey - go
Go

36 25.07.58W, 121 54 54.26W

Well hello to you too. So I am back in DC after a short (but painfully long) trip up to NYC. I am happy to report that I have returned with some of my sanity intact after dealing with a nightmare of a travel situation on Wed. I will not dwell on it further or bore you with details, suffice to say there is a very good reason I am living on the edge these days.

BUT! However and such as, it is Friday night which means two days to recover before I fly out again. Baby steps and small blessings, I cling to thee. Despite all of the above and other such nonsense, I am surprisingly in slightly slightly better spirits than last weekend at this time. Again, baby steps. That sad sac of wine is still in my frig waiting to be finished, and I will do so this weekend, but I do so not out of a need to dull every sense possible and blot out all coherent thought, but out of the simple joy of knowing that I only have two more trips to make and then I am DUN for awhile. I have carved out a week in July in which I will leave this city and all cities and go back to the Midwest to see only my people and grass and space and open roads and such. TFG is what I say to that.

So I have my dogs back and I am going to do what I assume normal people do on the weekend which will be to chill the fuck out. I hope yours is a good one too, don't hit that wine sac too hard = pay for it later. Goodday!

ETA: It's good to know that should I find myself floating dead in the Potomac right by where I work, Wonder Woman will find me.

Bluffton Rd/469

Lately, and maybe it's the booze or the ennui or the existential crisis I'm currently in the middle of, but I've been thinking a lot about Indiana.

Maybe it's been awhile since I was back there? Maybe it's the tornado dreams or the dreams of my mom or peonies or the honeysuckle or the need to be in the middle of nowhere. I don't know. This speaks to me:



I love these photographs and this talented guy captures the rural Indiana that I grew up with in the same stark black and white that I remember.

You know how you sometimes get disconnected from stuff, like you're floating from this to that with no real anchor and you're drawn to things that remind you of home and something solid that you actually remember?

It might just be me and that black box talking but I'm feeling that right now - the longing for something stark with sharp lines, something earthy, something familiar. Something that feels real because it sunk in so deep back then and it's been inside for so long, it's like a second skin. That small town or those houses or that field. Now I'm here in this city, moves in between, feeling like I'd rather be anywhere else.

So it goes, yeah? Soon enough I'm back into the grind and I'm headed out again for one more round of travel meetings - up to
NYC for too short/too long and then here and there and wherever. Definitely feeling ungrounded by all this travel.

If you knew me, you'd know I put on a very nice front. Hey it's good, no worries, do what you must. You'd also know that I'm pretending, getting on/off the Metro, walking into that shiny curved high rise, conference calling and doing whatever else it is I do, all the while I'd much rather be here:



Thank you, Christopher Crawford, wherever you are.

box of liquor

So I'm kind of having a lost weekend, taking tomorrow off in an attempt to regain a bit of composure. Which is handy b/c this weekend I have done little but drink = ok and necessary sometimes I have found. I also think I'm a little giddy with excess re this:



As you know, I have been known on occasion to buy a box of wine purely based on the quantity contained therein. This weekend became one such occasion and continues to be so. Plus also the neighbors are playing a ridiculous song over and over again that I can hear thumping through the walls and that is potentially driving me mad moreso than already.

So, in honor of the above + so much more, here is a song about booze (click the link to download, yo) that I would like to share with you and here are the lyrics so that you may sing them aloud con la cancion. No one can hear you, trust me..


Box of liquor by my side and I’ll be alright
It’s cheaper by the shot and by the hour
Box of liquor big enough to put my arms around
Got to find your comfort where your comfort can be found

Take a box of liquor with me on the road
To fill the empty seat beside me
And when the car is out of gas I’ll pour some liquor in
As long as there’s a bottle left so I can drink again

Box of liquor take it where I go
Last me through the desert well into mexico
Where I’ll find cliff to drive off or somebody to hold
A canyon to fall into or somebody to hold

Box of liquor helped me get up off the ground
Where my heart was firmly planted
When I tilt an empty bottle up the moon comes shining through
A bottle full of moonlight needs a bottle full of booze

Box of Liquor - Big Fish Ensemble


ETA3: This is how sad (and strangely pornographic and empty) a sac of wine looks after a weekend + 1 of hitting of said bag by me. I am alternately proud/ashamed of my skills at the spout, but nonetheless, can I get a witness:

tis the season

Rather be here:



ETA: Our turn now, perfect storm..



A little blurry, but the baby dog does not appreciate storms and is hiding here:



I'm enjoying the rain:

Memorial day

So, briefly, I have an invite to the WH tomorrow to attend the goings on with my stepmom. She's in town from Indiana for the whole wreath laying thing and I will be going with her if for no other reason than to see the inside of the WH (and of course, honor those who died). I personally sacrificed my mental health braving the monuments and the crowds with her today so in some small way, I feel like I've paid a price too.

He Who Must Not Be Named will be there since I guess technically he's still semi-relevant for such things. I trust that he will not actually talk to me given that any response I would have would get me tossed out. I'll certainly report back on the details if they prove interesting enough. I'm not going to pass up this kind of opportunity just b/c I'm not happy (understatement) with the current tenant. I mean hello, I gotta scout out my office for when Hills makes her improbable comeback.

I can feel your jealousy from here. Do not deny such things.

ETA: So here are a few pix I took with my phone from this morning. Frankly, I was kind of suspicious that the invite was even legit when my stepmom told me about it so once we made it past the east gate on to the grounds of the WH, I was like ok, roll with it, you know? And then there was this huge spread for breakfast in the dining room, it was quite surreal. I had some fresh berries and cream under that pix of Abe. Crazy. Like who does that except the visiting head of state of Whereverland.

(Aside: All the rooms were decorated in a style I like to call Tacky Old Splendor. In the dining room, there were crushed gold velvet curtains that, in a pinch, one could fashion into Scarlet O'Hara/Carol Burnett. Lots of old pictures and knick knacks, none of which were small enough to fit in my pocket, not that I would ever consider pilfering of course hello)

And then, we all stood in line (there were about 100 or so various/sundry guests) and each had our picture taken with GWB. I know, I know, but it was hard to turn down the chance. Dance with the devil, I say. My stepmom asked if he was going to have a long day (b/c you know, he barely runs the country anymore so what does he do) and he jokingly said to ask him that at 9pm tonight and I said 'yeah, I read that was your bedtime' and he laughed. If he weren't a potential war criminal, he'd be a kinda fun guy maybe.

We all then got escorted out to Arlington Cem and sat in the sun for the ceremony to honor those who have died fighting. It was hard to be there listening to him talk while feeling that he is responsible for 4000+ of them in Iraq. Lots of ambivalence this morning to be sure.

Anyway, here are a few pix:

This one is looking out the window of the WH towards Constitution Ave, where if you were a tourist, you'd look through the gates up at the house. You can see the curve and columns of the front:



Bill was hanging out in an entry way near the orange juice and coffee:



Hill, on the other hand, was downstairs in a hallway right near the women's restroom, hmmm:



Laura was at the ceremony, sitting on the far right. Her face never moved, I kept checking:



He Who Shall Not Be Named:



We got an official proclamation souvenir and I got an unofficial souvenir - a White House restroom paper hand drying towel. Yes, it came to that, I have no shame:



When we are mailed our copies of photos with GWB, I shall share that with you - that's really the money shot, is it not?

So there you go, a run down of my morning. I didn't take as many pix as I could have but you know, gotta live in the moment. Hopefully next time I'm in the WH, we'll all be more excited about the occupant, yes?

Hi from Hotel California

Hi.I have checked in/do not anticipate checking out.

A view from the convertible:



The drive north. Lonely as a cloud in the golden state:



Lots more pictures and stories to come on this trip fo sho. Look for cameos by the Canadian's arm and possibly the ocean.

ETA: Enjoying a lovely Japanese garden..



And now it is time to put the top down and drive along the coast and unplug the phone and computer..no more work, lots more play.

ETA2: We decided we liked this beach the best, I'm going to pretend we're still there..



2.5 more days on the left coast and 2.5 more days with my Canadian = ready to be done with the former, way not enough time left on the latter.

ETA3: So obviously, I am back. Two weeks away is a long time and I'm pretty sure I'm going to feel it for awhile too. I have three more travel trips between now and the end of June and honestly, all I want to do is hole up somewhere quiet and away from people. I'm getting that familiar not-liking-people feeling again and mostly that is from being forced to interact and be mentally engaged without the requisite downtime. It most definitely affects my mood and behavior, as evidenced by the fact that it took forever for me to relax even a tiny bit when I was on the most perfect beach or among big huge old redwoods with someone I love spending time with. I couldn't turn it off even for her. Which sucks. And I'm sorry.

So flying back, we had to divert around these huge columns off anvil-shaped clouds and I could see them boiling up as we flew by. I later learned that those were the tornadoes over Kansas yesterday and that made me miss home. Like pack up the dogs and drive out west and stay there out on those prairies kinda missing. The time change has me all screwed up and I can't seem to let go of all the shit I have waiting for me back at the office to do and getting my ducks all in that pretty row without a chance to say how nice before I have to prepare for the next thing and the next trip and whatever. Clearly, I'm burning things from both ends a bit too much right now and I'm not particularly appreciating it nor am I able to figure out how to balance. This will be on my list of things to do..in July.

Things I lost (in the fire): The power adapter for my iBook, a firewire, my ipod connector, my chance

Things I found: Two cool rocks and a painfully white shell, the temperature in CA changes from HOT to chilly to HOT to windy to cool to dirty to windy to HOT to perfect in one car ride, the blackberry off button is just an illusion

Things I miss: That beach with you.

faith

Holy frak. I have about 1.8 million things on my mind (which is the price tag of a proposal I have been putting together) and am trying to pack for a two week trip (which is stress/salvation rolled into one) when I simply had to take a time out and let my head go somewhere else. I just finished watching the latest Battlestar Galactica episode Faith and hot holy hell. This show is killing me...man. My love for tortured prophet-heroes knows no bounds. It's also a testament to the level of stress I'm under that it also managed to wrest a moist eye from me as well. Man.

Anyway, I need to get my shit together tonight and finish some of those 1.8 million things and attempt to remember everything I need and somehow make my way to the airport tomorrow morning and land in SF and then drive up north of there and presumably be in a hotel room in California tomorrow night with enough time to re-read a 100pg proposal and prepare for a 1.5 day meeting where I negotiate the impossible and then pick up my Canadian and forget about everything else for awhile.

The question is: Can this be done without completely losing my mind? The answer = Try Again Later. Thank you Magic 8 Ball, may I have another?

there's no place like home

I'm only happy when it rains.



Reminds me of storms in my favorite state..

Greasy spoon

One of many reasons I enjoyed my latest work trip, old skool diner for bfast this morning:



More pix later from a city who shows some serious lilac love and has a whole festival celebrating them. You know what a girl I am about lilacs hello.

Communism and TAINTED MILK!

I kinda have to share this letter with you that I got from my Dad this week. I love that man, but I have to say he gets a little unhinged about the topic of smokers rights. Yes you heard me. The right to smoke. It's like his Roe v Wade.

See, I'm all for prohibiting smoking in restaurants and bars because I don't smoke and like not having to be around it to have a meal or drink. He of course is a lifelong smoker. Two worlds colliding so we go round and round about it. He clipped something out of his local newspaper this week and sent it in the mail along with a letter. I'm transcribing the letter for you word for word. Don't judge him, he just wants us to live free or die.

Hey Peanut,

April 26th - 2008 - Remember this date 28 years from now - I think by then you will look back and say what happened? We let a few city councils, county, state & government agencies make all the decisions that affect our lives. What next?

Well you can't eat this or drink that or drive that car or truck and on and on - I'm sure the word is "communism" I'm sure you have read about Japan - Germany - North Korea & Russia and others that had to live by it. Not a pretty picture but it happened.

So with all that said, I shall say no more "well maybe" on the subject. However I have decided to stay around for another 30 years to see how your generation is going to survive and handle the problems the government has decided for you.

Love ya, Dad

what are you doing?

I joined Twitter, I don't know why. It's Friday night!

Not sure how it works completely but expect constant short text updates saying Arrested from an Egyptian prison or Drunk again from the gutter or Lost in space from Starbuck's bed. Anyway, I guess you can "follow me" somehow by clicking on the Twitter thing to the right. This technology thing, how you say? It puzzles me.

Bottom line: I promise to make them entertaining, succinct, and if at all possible, gay. Holla.

ps. I saw the cape lady today after work for the first time in a long time. Naturally, she was wearing her flowing cape (hence how I spotted her) and naturally, it was like the hottest day of the year so far at 80+ degrees. Perfect cape weather! I didn't know it was Renfaire season already. I've not received the memo.

pps. I am off this weekend to upstate NY for work so expect a hearty HIGH from there-ville.

a valium from the bride

Neko!

This is how we operate

So I am back and I can barely manage to do anything but make playlists on itunes and do laundry. Since I moved in weeks ago, I have only really been in the apt like a total of 5 days? I really haven't unpacked much as evidenced by my living room:



Compare that to the pix I took right when I moved in here. It's sad. I still have not found that thing I was looking for in that one box that is not labeled. Same old story, but when I get back from going here/there, the last thing I want to deal with is that pile of boxes. Like what the hell is in there?? What is all that shit? Next thing I know, I start getting oppressed by my STUFF again and I can't deal. I'd much rather take the dogs out for a walk and smell the flowers. Which I did today as well.

So what am I whining about again? Oh yes, as a result of said conditions, my frig is in a sorry state of affairs. Check it:



The contents are as such:

Diet Pepsi hello
2 bottles of tonic water
1 Coors Light (that I will open shortly)
2 leftover pasta dishes
1 ham steak that I may never cook how long have I had it again?
2 apples
1 half wedge of romano cheese
4 flour tortillas

The most important point being the lack of cold alcoholic beverages which may be the only thing that propels me out of this apt and down to the Whole Foods. That is also sad. What is sadder though, is that I will probably just say fuck it and make due with vodka tonics b/c that would be a bad thing how? See, that is why I like Sundays: I love Jesus but I drink a little. <--- that never gets old either IMO.

Bright side: I have a whole entire week to settle in a bit before I have to travel again. And then a week after that, a left coast trip with the Canadian Drummer = thank god.

Hi from Chicago!

You know the drill, yes?

Briefly, this is the view from my fancy hotel room:



You know how much I love Chicago, my favorite Midwestern big city. Good times have been had here by me for sure. (Old skool holla: Anyone remember the secret knock to the Whip Room? I'll be there at 5am dontcha know).

I'm headed out here in a few to meet up with a friend of mine from back in the day. Knowing him, it will be a late night. And back in the day, I was much more youthful and able to handle activities like drinking Miller Lite all night, playing Euchre, and listening to the Replacements turned up to 11 - now? Maybe not so much, but I shall do what I must. Luckily, my meeting doesn't start until noon tomorrow so I'm keeping my fingers crossed for no throwing up. A girl can dream.

ETA1: So here we are out and about. My old buddy could not handle the pressure very well since he had been out all last night so it was an early night with no throwing up. I'm in the lower left corner, that's he and his gf otherwise. Good times and lots of good wine I do have to say:



ETA2: Well, this trip seems to have lasted forever/day. I'm headed back tomorrow morning - I have a whole week of no travel to maybe find that box containing that thing that I've been looking for. I was less than meticulous with the labeling it seems. So yes, Chicago, the Midwest, drove south of the city for a bit and found some cornfields. Plus also loving the fact that there's been some great storms:



Back to the grind. Tell me you miss me..

I lost myself on a cool damp night

It's that time of year again.



These I found Sunday on a walk with the dogs through the new neighborhood. Growing up, we had this huge lilac bush in the backyard. I would always take a bunch that my mom cut to my elementary school teachers with their stems wrapped up in wet paper towels and aluminum foil. Yeah, brown-nosing the teachers, but I think secretly, I just liked smelling them on the walk to school. Unfortunately, the people who now live in our old house bulldozed that bush down, poured a bunch of concrete in the backyard and built a two car garage. I can hardly bear the thought, but putting my face in a bunch of purple flowers takes me back and that sweet smell will always be there.

I am off to Chicago tomorrow for the rest of the week so I'm sure there will be a shout-out Hi post from there.

half a dozen of the other

Well it's nice to have some days off in this new place, let me tell you. I've done a few unpacking things, putting my desk together for what feels like the millionth time, doing laundry, grocery etc. But honesty? I have been doing pretty much nothing but relaxing and napping and breathing and not thinking and not talking to anyone. It's been fantastic. Very much needed.

And so, on this perfect day where it's raining and stormy and dark and cool, I'm kicked back and catching up on a little bit of this:



Mmmm, Starbuck, it's been too long. You can watch full episodes here. Yay for Sundays!

Hi from Tampa!

I need not remind you that saying Hi in Tampa is very similar to greeting each other in you know where. Yeah, that never gets old and trust me, I plan to link to that every single opportunity I get, which will be many BTW.

So yes, I am now in Florida and I have to say, who does not love an orange? No one and those who do, well, I have nothing left to say to them. How can you make a screwdriver without one is my question. The answer = you can't, case closed and end of story.

I'm here until Friday and one thing I have learned about traveling is that 1) it makes your days blur together to the point where you are no longer sure if you are coming/going and/or what the actual day/date/time is anymore and 2) if you are getting older as I tend to do every year, the change in pressure from flying swells up joints and more specifically my knee which I have never had any issues with and you begin to hobble a bit like you never did before and it reminds you that you are one more step closer to death and as a result, you become living proof of terror management theory and start to hate anyone who is not you. Not that I hate people, but you know.

Not sure where I was going with that, but hey, I am in the land of oranges so what can you do? I do have to say that (non-sequiturorially) as much as I love the Pope, I am glad not to be in DC right now dealing with the Masses. Yes, that's all I got in the way of Pope-jokes. Lame yes. Anyway, apparently it will be a logistical and commuter nightmare that I am thankful to his Father that I am not there to have to deal with. Plus actually, no offense, but not such a fan of the P so I kinda lied about the love. Feeling more ambivalent about him in general if I must put a word to it. And this concludes possibly all I have to say about Ponty.

It is clear that my swollen knee and the vodka tonic and Florida are conspiring to make me have a wee touch of the WTF-pergers so I shall end this now before more damage is done. Rest assured, there will be some ETAs while I'm here with blurry Blackberry pictures of what I can only hope and pray is an actual orange. I will find one for you and photo it - or if not, something equally exciting if that is at all possible which at this point, I have my doubts.

And with that I bid you goodnight!

ETA1: I did a bit of googling this morning over my knee condition and with the help of a wonderful medical site and this amazing picture below, I have self-diagnosed:



I clearly have a pail of water lodged in my knee and only your steady hand and patience can help. Are you up to the task?

ETA2: I think this is an approximate outtake from that vid re: living/loving/fighting/fucking - like aren't there palm trees and such? Women on motra-cycles in tight dresses with mustaches etc?



ps. They pour strong drinks in Tampa I have found - attempts to minimize typos proving difficult therefore goodnight!

Hi from Houston!

Which, FYI, is also how they say say Hi in Whoreville, btw IIRC LOL LYLAS BFF ETC

So yes, I am now in the state of Texas, my first official voluntary visit to Bush country. I am here to strike some black gold/Texas tea and bring down the price of crude oil so that you can drive to Walmart for your unnecessary plastic objects. Actually, I probably won't do much prospecting, however, I have promised to find the Canadian something called West Texas Dust (I wonder if she knows it can be purchased via the wonders of the intra-net? Regardless, she wants it and therefore I shall find it.

/on Smoove B: If she wanted, I would purchase her a blanket of fine silk scarves made of the most luxurious fabric and she could lay by the fire while I prepared her the most sumptuous feast of grilled chicken sprinkled with West Texas Dust on a bed of baby lettuce and small bite-sized carrots. For dessert we would have chocolate cake with icing. After I had fed her this meal, I would turn on some soft R&B classics, like Luther Vandross maybe if she would like while I poured her a flute of sparkling wine. We would then get our freak on. Girl, you know it's true /off Smoove B.

Man, where the hell am I?

Oh yes, Texas. It is no wonder there are so many nuts down here, there's something in the water I think. Or maybe I am still recovering from 1) a move and taking a lover, 2) million things to do/no time to do them, 3) KU winning in overtime in quite possibly the best national championship game that was every played in this century hello did you even watch it or what my god that was a GAME.

So I am here for work and will be here until Sat morning. In that time, I shall attempt to solve all your problems, make all your dreams come true, and win the Stanley Cup. Please expect rambling Texas-sized ETAs to this post about everything/nothing and perhaps even some blurry photo-graff-ee-ahs from my blackberry of various/sundry Houston-type things. Whatever that may be. Tall buildings? Cowboy hats? Bush fires? If only the Olympic torch was coming through town, you know I'd snatch that fucker and run with it naked through the streets of this city because I have become that crazy for no apparent reason other than = Texas.

Goodday to you!

ETA: It is all about the Tex-Mex here, I should have you know. Tamales and enchiladas and beer = what I am talking about.





I am here until tomorrow and have to say, Houston was a much nicer city than I would have guessed. Easy to get around is my new criteria for being a great city. If I can get across town without bumper to bumper DCish traffic, I am apparently all about that city. And hello, this was the city that Swoopes built so it's got that going for it too. All in all, a lovely visit, the temp was a balmy 75-80 degrees and really I can't complain (for once!). Texas, who knew??

TA to the VA via AA

Hi, I'm in the process of moving and/or losing my mind. Hard to say which will occur first, wish me luck! I'm traveling next week too so most likely, you'll get a drunken airport post from the great state of Texas. Plan accordingly!

ETA: Look! Someone in my new apt complex has an unsecured wireless. Woo! Maybe I won't have to get cable after all. Two quick questions: 1) How did I get so much shit and 2) Will you come help me unpack? Thanks you Easter Bunny, bawk bawk.