On the Boulevard

So I managed to carve a little time out of my work in MO to go out to the country a bit to visit my friend's dad - he and I bond over playing good music really loudly and drinking beer. Both of which is what I did until 3am last night and therefore as a result, I was hung like a racehorse today. Really bad metaphor, sorry.

Anyway, point being, I have no one to blame but myself. But hello, we were in the country! It was so quiet and nice and relaxing - we checked out his wood shop which I covet like no one's business, we toured the garden, and then we looked at all the frogs in his frog pond (there were a million tadpoles and tiny frogs and big frogs all hanging out). It was glorious I must say, well worth the pain of feeling like shit today.

I captured some pictures for you of me saying one last Hi from the road.

Oh Boulevard, how I missed ye!




Where my mind will be when I am stuck in traffic tomorrow:




Cheers to you:



Now I am off to bed at 830 because of the above activities. Call me granny, but I'm feeling old and tired. Goodnight!

There's no basement in the Alamo, FYI

Yeah, so I'm off again tomorrow to Mizzurah < -- how some folks in said state pronounce it. This is the last of my 11 work trips in 3 months. I could never cut it as a traveling salesperson selling Fuller Brushes or vacuum cleaners. I could also never be in a band playing the triangle and touring. Nor could I be a waitress in the sky. Or a trucker like Large Marge. Frankly at the rate I am going, I am finding it hard to be someone who must leave the house. But soon it will be done, TFG.

(TFG in my world means Thank Fucking God, but could also mean Totally Fucking Gay, I suppose or Too Far Gone. I don't know, does TFG exist as an internet acronym already? If not, I'm claiming it, I use it enough I should get some credit for LOLing a blaspheme).

Where was I? Yes so travel this week, which in general is kind of a tough week for me in the grand scheme of weeks/days of the year and so I most definitely will be just trying to get by with sanity intact. What is scary is that goal (intact sanity) has been one I've had since I moved to this dang city - time for a new goal I say. I am taking suggestions, please submit yours today and I thank you kindly.

Maybe I shall liveblog from the middle of the country, sort of like a finale episode of my reality show so boring it must be shown on the local Fairfax County Community College cable channel (or some such). Who would not like a finale HI from Jefferson City, MO? The answer = everyone and/or 42. Yeah, it's been one of those months/weeks/days/lives, bear with me!

And with that, I leave you with this:

From Hair to Eternity

I kinda hate making fun of people's hair given that I generally have hairfuck three quarters of the time as it is, so do not consider this making fun of someone's hair. Instead, consider it a trip down memory lane. I have not seen this hair style outside of the state of Missouri or on anyone other than my sister...back in 1983.

The classic early/mid 80's "feather":



DC Metro: Bringing SexyBack

Chapter 1

Apparently, everyone is reading or trying to read books these days and blogging about it. To wit:

Mimi Smartypants is reading books about transgender and passing, China, and India.

Win is reading about LA, shame, and Latino-American characters named Papi.

and my literary girlfriend Vivian Darkbloomis not reading about post-World War II Italy.

What have I read lately, you ask? That question implies that I've unpacked a box containing these things called "books" and then opened one to process what are called "words" on paper. Yeah, hasn't happened. I have managed to make it through every subscription issue of Harpers magazine lately. That is all I I can say. Sad, but true.

I think I would be interested in and be able to read an engaging piece of fiction right now. But as I may have mentioned, I have this total aversion to reading bad fiction and as such, I am weirdly reluctant about just picking a book up and starting it. Which makes it hard to, you know, read. It's really gay, but it drives me crazy to begin a book and then have some quirky writing style thing ruin it for me. I never know what will do it either and that makes it hard for me to choose fiction.

I mean I'll wade through a non-fiction book about turnips, but Barbara Kingsolver? I'd rather rip my eyes out. I always pick on Kingsolver for some reason, but some friend loved her and recommended her so I picked up that book with pigs in the title and I could only read the first two chapters before I realized I hated how she wrote - I think it was that I thought she wrote present tense poorly and it totally threw me out of whatever was going on in the story.

Unfortunately, like with art or music, I only know what I like when I see/hear/read it and that makes it a challenge to just randomly try fiction. I am not adventurous when it comes to reading b/c I don't want to get irritated if I pick a shitty book so I avoid reading any book b/c I don't want to get irritated. It's a vicious and silly/stupid cycle that I am having a hard time breaking the last several years.

So...maybe I will take a baby step on my road to recovery and ask for suggestions? I'd love something that is quirky, funny, not-plodding, not-SF, not too heavy/not too light, engaging/escapey, and has a female protagonist if possible. I ask for the world, I admit.

why i love this city

30 minutes to go 4 blocks = the best thing ever.

ain't too early/ain't too late

Hi from glorious Oklahoma, where it's actually not as hot as DC. A first, perhaps.

So yes, I am in the City of Oklahoma which is kinda spread out and which I have only passed through once. Seems nice enough, I certainly am not going to malign the state that bottoms my favorite one. Many years ago, my Cleveland friend and I drove down to her hometown of Tulsa for Halloween. Let us just say it was a night of mezcal and a next morning of having to pull over on the drive back so my friend could relive the worm over and over again. Not a pretty sight. So that is Oklahoma for me. This time, of course, was like 100X more business-like and stern negotiation and bad cop/good cop. (I am always the good cop in these scenarios somehow - which is weird b/c if you know me, you know what a bitch I can be when given the right circumstances/incentives).

Anyway, it's been ok, but the overriding theme has been knowing that this is the last one of these trips I need to make for this project and one more on another and then done. I really hate to keep talking about work on this thing, it seems to be the same thing over and over again like when I was Metro bitching. Bear with me, I may actually get a life when things slow down so I can start talking about things like whatever it was I used to do and enjoy. Vice? Corruption? Sex? The City? Scratch that last one, please. All skate - now reverse!

And with that, I bid you goodnight from the middle of the country where I am tantalizingly close to where I want to be. I even felt a twinge of homesickness when I had a few beers in the hotel bar and it was karaoke night and a bunch of locals in cowboy hats were singing Willy Nelson. It's come to that, yes.

Instead, I have this to look forward to when I return - the bane of my current existence!

Go honey go

So, more than three years ago, I started this blog with a post about Aimee Mann so I think it's fitting to belatedly celebrate (?) that occasion with another post about her new album, Smilers which just came out and which I am absorbing. Going to have to go out and buy a new ipod connecter so I can listen to this on the go a bit more. I think I like it..

Maybe I should simply start marking time in Aimee Mann units? Oh, those were the Forgotten Arm years, it was all a blur. Ah, Lost in Space were good times, good times. So I'm going to slip into the Smilers era and see what comes of it...


Go, honey go -
Into the ocean
Go, honey go -
Into the great beyond
Til you're good and gone
And you can hide away for
When everything goes wrong
Honey - go

Go, honey go -
If I were you I would
Leave this neighborhood
Away from people who never
Treat you like they should
Honey - go
Go

In the woods or in the ice and snow
Where there is
No one else you know
You've really nowhere
Else to go
So honey go

Go, honey go
Cause it's a dead end street
And it's a street in a town
Where winning isn't sweet
And every win
Is the beginning of defeat
So honey - go
Go

36 25.07.58W, 121 54 54.26W

Well hello to you too. So I am back in DC after a short (but painfully long) trip up to NYC. I am happy to report that I have returned with some of my sanity intact after dealing with a nightmare of a travel situation on Wed. I will not dwell on it further or bore you with details, suffice to say there is a very good reason I am living on the edge these days.

BUT! However and such as, it is Friday night which means two days to recover before I fly out again. Baby steps and small blessings, I cling to thee. Despite all of the above and other such nonsense, I am surprisingly in slightly slightly better spirits than last weekend at this time. Again, baby steps. That sad sac of wine is still in my frig waiting to be finished, and I will do so this weekend, but I do so not out of a need to dull every sense possible and blot out all coherent thought, but out of the simple joy of knowing that I only have two more trips to make and then I am DUN for awhile. I have carved out a week in July in which I will leave this city and all cities and go back to the Midwest to see only my people and grass and space and open roads and such. TFG is what I say to that.

So I have my dogs back and I am going to do what I assume normal people do on the weekend which will be to chill the fuck out. I hope yours is a good one too, don't hit that wine sac too hard = pay for it later. Goodday!

ETA: It's good to know that should I find myself floating dead in the Potomac right by where I work, Wonder Woman will find me.

Bluffton Rd/469

Lately, and maybe it's the booze or the ennui or the existential crisis I'm currently in the middle of, but I've been thinking a lot about Indiana.

Maybe it's been awhile since I was back there? Maybe it's the tornado dreams or the dreams of my mom or peonies or the honeysuckle or the need to be in the middle of nowhere. I don't know. This speaks to me:



I love these photographs and this talented guy captures the rural Indiana that I grew up with in the same stark black and white that I remember.

You know how you sometimes get disconnected from stuff, like you're floating from this to that with no real anchor and you're drawn to things that remind you of home and something solid that you actually remember?

It might just be me and that black box talking but I'm feeling that right now - the longing for something stark with sharp lines, something earthy, something familiar. Something that feels real because it sunk in so deep back then and it's been inside for so long, it's like a second skin. That small town or those houses or that field. Now I'm here in this city, moves in between, feeling like I'd rather be anywhere else.

So it goes, yeah? Soon enough I'm back into the grind and I'm headed out again for one more round of travel meetings - up to
NYC for too short/too long and then here and there and wherever. Definitely feeling ungrounded by all this travel.

If you knew me, you'd know I put on a very nice front. Hey it's good, no worries, do what you must. You'd also know that I'm pretending, getting on/off the Metro, walking into that shiny curved high rise, conference calling and doing whatever else it is I do, all the while I'd much rather be here:



Thank you, Christopher Crawford, wherever you are.

box of liquor

So I'm kind of having a lost weekend, taking tomorrow off in an attempt to regain a bit of composure. Which is handy b/c this weekend I have done little but drink = ok and necessary sometimes I have found. I also think I'm a little giddy with excess re this:



As you know, I have been known on occasion to buy a box of wine purely based on the quantity contained therein. This weekend became one such occasion and continues to be so. Plus also the neighbors are playing a ridiculous song over and over again that I can hear thumping through the walls and that is potentially driving me mad moreso than already.

So, in honor of the above + so much more, here is a song about booze (click the link to download, yo) that I would like to share with you and here are the lyrics so that you may sing them aloud con la cancion. No one can hear you, trust me..


Box of liquor by my side and I’ll be alright
It’s cheaper by the shot and by the hour
Box of liquor big enough to put my arms around
Got to find your comfort where your comfort can be found

Take a box of liquor with me on the road
To fill the empty seat beside me
And when the car is out of gas I’ll pour some liquor in
As long as there’s a bottle left so I can drink again

Box of liquor take it where I go
Last me through the desert well into mexico
Where I’ll find cliff to drive off or somebody to hold
A canyon to fall into or somebody to hold

Box of liquor helped me get up off the ground
Where my heart was firmly planted
When I tilt an empty bottle up the moon comes shining through
A bottle full of moonlight needs a bottle full of booze

Box of Liquor - Big Fish Ensemble


ETA3: This is how sad (and strangely pornographic and empty) a sac of wine looks after a weekend + 1 of hitting of said bag by me. I am alternately proud/ashamed of my skills at the spout, but nonetheless, can I get a witness:

tis the season

Rather be here:



ETA: Our turn now, perfect storm..



A little blurry, but the baby dog does not appreciate storms and is hiding here:



I'm enjoying the rain:

Memorial day

So, briefly, I have an invite to the WH tomorrow to attend the goings on with my stepmom. She's in town from Indiana for the whole wreath laying thing and I will be going with her if for no other reason than to see the inside of the WH (and of course, honor those who died). I personally sacrificed my mental health braving the monuments and the crowds with her today so in some small way, I feel like I've paid a price too.

He Who Must Not Be Named will be there since I guess technically he's still semi-relevant for such things. I trust that he will not actually talk to me given that any response I would have would get me tossed out. I'll certainly report back on the details if they prove interesting enough. I'm not going to pass up this kind of opportunity just b/c I'm not happy (understatement) with the current tenant. I mean hello, I gotta scout out my office for when Hills makes her improbable comeback.

I can feel your jealousy from here. Do not deny such things.

ETA: So here are a few pix I took with my phone from this morning. Frankly, I was kind of suspicious that the invite was even legit when my stepmom told me about it so once we made it past the east gate on to the grounds of the WH, I was like ok, roll with it, you know? And then there was this huge spread for breakfast in the dining room, it was quite surreal. I had some fresh berries and cream under that pix of Abe. Crazy. Like who does that except the visiting head of state of Whereverland.

(Aside: All the rooms were decorated in a style I like to call Tacky Old Splendor. In the dining room, there were crushed gold velvet curtains that, in a pinch, one could fashion into Scarlet O'Hara/Carol Burnett. Lots of old pictures and knick knacks, none of which were small enough to fit in my pocket, not that I would ever consider pilfering of course hello)

And then, we all stood in line (there were about 100 or so various/sundry guests) and each had our picture taken with GWB. I know, I know, but it was hard to turn down the chance. Dance with the devil, I say. My stepmom asked if he was going to have a long day (b/c you know, he barely runs the country anymore so what does he do) and he jokingly said to ask him that at 9pm tonight and I said 'yeah, I read that was your bedtime' and he laughed. If he weren't a potential war criminal, he'd be a kinda fun guy maybe.

We all then got escorted out to Arlington Cem and sat in the sun for the ceremony to honor those who have died fighting. It was hard to be there listening to him talk while feeling that he is responsible for 4000+ of them in Iraq. Lots of ambivalence this morning to be sure.

Anyway, here are a few pix:

This one is looking out the window of the WH towards Constitution Ave, where if you were a tourist, you'd look through the gates up at the house. You can see the curve and columns of the front:



Bill was hanging out in an entry way near the orange juice and coffee:



Hill, on the other hand, was downstairs in a hallway right near the women's restroom, hmmm:



Laura was at the ceremony, sitting on the far right. Her face never moved, I kept checking:



He Who Shall Not Be Named:



We got an official proclamation souvenir and I got an unofficial souvenir - a White House restroom paper hand drying towel. Yes, it came to that, I have no shame:



When we are mailed our copies of photos with GWB, I shall share that with you - that's really the money shot, is it not?

So there you go, a run down of my morning. I didn't take as many pix as I could have but you know, gotta live in the moment. Hopefully next time I'm in the WH, we'll all be more excited about the occupant, yes?

Hi from Hotel California

Hi.I have checked in/do not anticipate checking out.

A view from the convertible:



The drive north. Lonely as a cloud in the golden state:



Lots more pictures and stories to come on this trip fo sho. Look for cameos by the Canadian's arm and possibly the ocean.

ETA: Enjoying a lovely Japanese garden..



And now it is time to put the top down and drive along the coast and unplug the phone and computer..no more work, lots more play.

ETA2: We decided we liked this beach the best, I'm going to pretend we're still there..



2.5 more days on the left coast and 2.5 more days with my Canadian = ready to be done with the former, way not enough time left on the latter.

ETA3: So obviously, I am back. Two weeks away is a long time and I'm pretty sure I'm going to feel it for awhile too. I have three more travel trips between now and the end of June and honestly, all I want to do is hole up somewhere quiet and away from people. I'm getting that familiar not-liking-people feeling again and mostly that is from being forced to interact and be mentally engaged without the requisite downtime. It most definitely affects my mood and behavior, as evidenced by the fact that it took forever for me to relax even a tiny bit when I was on the most perfect beach or among big huge old redwoods with someone I love spending time with. I couldn't turn it off even for her. Which sucks. And I'm sorry.

So flying back, we had to divert around these huge columns off anvil-shaped clouds and I could see them boiling up as we flew by. I later learned that those were the tornadoes over Kansas yesterday and that made me miss home. Like pack up the dogs and drive out west and stay there out on those prairies kinda missing. The time change has me all screwed up and I can't seem to let go of all the shit I have waiting for me back at the office to do and getting my ducks all in that pretty row without a chance to say how nice before I have to prepare for the next thing and the next trip and whatever. Clearly, I'm burning things from both ends a bit too much right now and I'm not particularly appreciating it nor am I able to figure out how to balance. This will be on my list of things to do..in July.

Things I lost (in the fire): The power adapter for my iBook, a firewire, my ipod connector, my chance

Things I found: Two cool rocks and a painfully white shell, the temperature in CA changes from HOT to chilly to HOT to windy to cool to dirty to windy to HOT to perfect in one car ride, the blackberry off button is just an illusion

Things I miss: That beach with you.

faith

Holy frak. I have about 1.8 million things on my mind (which is the price tag of a proposal I have been putting together) and am trying to pack for a two week trip (which is stress/salvation rolled into one) when I simply had to take a time out and let my head go somewhere else. I just finished watching the latest Battlestar Galactica episode Faith and hot holy hell. This show is killing me...man. My love for tortured prophet-heroes knows no bounds. It's also a testament to the level of stress I'm under that it also managed to wrest a moist eye from me as well. Man.

Anyway, I need to get my shit together tonight and finish some of those 1.8 million things and attempt to remember everything I need and somehow make my way to the airport tomorrow morning and land in SF and then drive up north of there and presumably be in a hotel room in California tomorrow night with enough time to re-read a 100pg proposal and prepare for a 1.5 day meeting where I negotiate the impossible and then pick up my Canadian and forget about everything else for awhile.

The question is: Can this be done without completely losing my mind? The answer = Try Again Later. Thank you Magic 8 Ball, may I have another?

there's no place like home

I'm only happy when it rains.



Reminds me of storms in my favorite state..

Greasy spoon

One of many reasons I enjoyed my latest work trip, old skool diner for bfast this morning:



More pix later from a city who shows some serious lilac love and has a whole festival celebrating them. You know what a girl I am about lilacs hello.

Communism and TAINTED MILK!

I kinda have to share this letter with you that I got from my Dad this week. I love that man, but I have to say he gets a little unhinged about the topic of smokers rights. Yes you heard me. The right to smoke. It's like his Roe v Wade.

See, I'm all for prohibiting smoking in restaurants and bars because I don't smoke and like not having to be around it to have a meal or drink. He of course is a lifelong smoker. Two worlds colliding so we go round and round about it. He clipped something out of his local newspaper this week and sent it in the mail along with a letter. I'm transcribing the letter for you word for word. Don't judge him, he just wants us to live free or die.

Hey Peanut,

April 26th - 2008 - Remember this date 28 years from now - I think by then you will look back and say what happened? We let a few city councils, county, state & government agencies make all the decisions that affect our lives. What next?

Well you can't eat this or drink that or drive that car or truck and on and on - I'm sure the word is "communism" I'm sure you have read about Japan - Germany - North Korea & Russia and others that had to live by it. Not a pretty picture but it happened.

So with all that said, I shall say no more "well maybe" on the subject. However I have decided to stay around for another 30 years to see how your generation is going to survive and handle the problems the government has decided for you.

Love ya, Dad

what are you doing?

I joined Twitter, I don't know why. It's Friday night!

Not sure how it works completely but expect constant short text updates saying Arrested from an Egyptian prison or Drunk again from the gutter or Lost in space from Starbuck's bed. Anyway, I guess you can "follow me" somehow by clicking on the Twitter thing to the right. This technology thing, how you say? It puzzles me.

Bottom line: I promise to make them entertaining, succinct, and if at all possible, gay. Holla.

ps. I saw the cape lady today after work for the first time in a long time. Naturally, she was wearing her flowing cape (hence how I spotted her) and naturally, it was like the hottest day of the year so far at 80+ degrees. Perfect cape weather! I didn't know it was Renfaire season already. I've not received the memo.

pps. I am off this weekend to upstate NY for work so expect a hearty HIGH from there-ville.

a valium from the bride

Neko!

This is how we operate

So I am back and I can barely manage to do anything but make playlists on itunes and do laundry. Since I moved in weeks ago, I have only really been in the apt like a total of 5 days? I really haven't unpacked much as evidenced by my living room:



Compare that to the pix I took right when I moved in here. It's sad. I still have not found that thing I was looking for in that one box that is not labeled. Same old story, but when I get back from going here/there, the last thing I want to deal with is that pile of boxes. Like what the hell is in there?? What is all that shit? Next thing I know, I start getting oppressed by my STUFF again and I can't deal. I'd much rather take the dogs out for a walk and smell the flowers. Which I did today as well.

So what am I whining about again? Oh yes, as a result of said conditions, my frig is in a sorry state of affairs. Check it:



The contents are as such:

Diet Pepsi hello
2 bottles of tonic water
1 Coors Light (that I will open shortly)
2 leftover pasta dishes
1 ham steak that I may never cook how long have I had it again?
2 apples
1 half wedge of romano cheese
4 flour tortillas

The most important point being the lack of cold alcoholic beverages which may be the only thing that propels me out of this apt and down to the Whole Foods. That is also sad. What is sadder though, is that I will probably just say fuck it and make due with vodka tonics b/c that would be a bad thing how? See, that is why I like Sundays: I love Jesus but I drink a little. <--- that never gets old either IMO.

Bright side: I have a whole entire week to settle in a bit before I have to travel again. And then a week after that, a left coast trip with the Canadian Drummer = thank god.

Hi from Chicago!

You know the drill, yes?

Briefly, this is the view from my fancy hotel room:



You know how much I love Chicago, my favorite Midwestern big city. Good times have been had here by me for sure. (Old skool holla: Anyone remember the secret knock to the Whip Room? I'll be there at 5am dontcha know).

I'm headed out here in a few to meet up with a friend of mine from back in the day. Knowing him, it will be a late night. And back in the day, I was much more youthful and able to handle activities like drinking Miller Lite all night, playing Euchre, and listening to the Replacements turned up to 11 - now? Maybe not so much, but I shall do what I must. Luckily, my meeting doesn't start until noon tomorrow so I'm keeping my fingers crossed for no throwing up. A girl can dream.

ETA1: So here we are out and about. My old buddy could not handle the pressure very well since he had been out all last night so it was an early night with no throwing up. I'm in the lower left corner, that's he and his gf otherwise. Good times and lots of good wine I do have to say:



ETA2: Well, this trip seems to have lasted forever/day. I'm headed back tomorrow morning - I have a whole week of no travel to maybe find that box containing that thing that I've been looking for. I was less than meticulous with the labeling it seems. So yes, Chicago, the Midwest, drove south of the city for a bit and found some cornfields. Plus also loving the fact that there's been some great storms:



Back to the grind. Tell me you miss me..

I lost myself on a cool damp night

It's that time of year again.



These I found Sunday on a walk with the dogs through the new neighborhood. Growing up, we had this huge lilac bush in the backyard. I would always take a bunch that my mom cut to my elementary school teachers with their stems wrapped up in wet paper towels and aluminum foil. Yeah, brown-nosing the teachers, but I think secretly, I just liked smelling them on the walk to school. Unfortunately, the people who now live in our old house bulldozed that bush down, poured a bunch of concrete in the backyard and built a two car garage. I can hardly bear the thought, but putting my face in a bunch of purple flowers takes me back and that sweet smell will always be there.

I am off to Chicago tomorrow for the rest of the week so I'm sure there will be a shout-out Hi post from there.

half a dozen of the other

Well it's nice to have some days off in this new place, let me tell you. I've done a few unpacking things, putting my desk together for what feels like the millionth time, doing laundry, grocery etc. But honesty? I have been doing pretty much nothing but relaxing and napping and breathing and not thinking and not talking to anyone. It's been fantastic. Very much needed.

And so, on this perfect day where it's raining and stormy and dark and cool, I'm kicked back and catching up on a little bit of this:



Mmmm, Starbuck, it's been too long. You can watch full episodes here. Yay for Sundays!

Hi from Tampa!

I need not remind you that saying Hi in Tampa is very similar to greeting each other in you know where. Yeah, that never gets old and trust me, I plan to link to that every single opportunity I get, which will be many BTW.

So yes, I am now in Florida and I have to say, who does not love an orange? No one and those who do, well, I have nothing left to say to them. How can you make a screwdriver without one is my question. The answer = you can't, case closed and end of story.

I'm here until Friday and one thing I have learned about traveling is that 1) it makes your days blur together to the point where you are no longer sure if you are coming/going and/or what the actual day/date/time is anymore and 2) if you are getting older as I tend to do every year, the change in pressure from flying swells up joints and more specifically my knee which I have never had any issues with and you begin to hobble a bit like you never did before and it reminds you that you are one more step closer to death and as a result, you become living proof of terror management theory and start to hate anyone who is not you. Not that I hate people, but you know.

Not sure where I was going with that, but hey, I am in the land of oranges so what can you do? I do have to say that (non-sequiturorially) as much as I love the Pope, I am glad not to be in DC right now dealing with the Masses. Yes, that's all I got in the way of Pope-jokes. Lame yes. Anyway, apparently it will be a logistical and commuter nightmare that I am thankful to his Father that I am not there to have to deal with. Plus actually, no offense, but not such a fan of the P so I kinda lied about the love. Feeling more ambivalent about him in general if I must put a word to it. And this concludes possibly all I have to say about Ponty.

It is clear that my swollen knee and the vodka tonic and Florida are conspiring to make me have a wee touch of the WTF-pergers so I shall end this now before more damage is done. Rest assured, there will be some ETAs while I'm here with blurry Blackberry pictures of what I can only hope and pray is an actual orange. I will find one for you and photo it - or if not, something equally exciting if that is at all possible which at this point, I have my doubts.

And with that I bid you goodnight!

ETA1: I did a bit of googling this morning over my knee condition and with the help of a wonderful medical site and this amazing picture below, I have self-diagnosed:



I clearly have a pail of water lodged in my knee and only your steady hand and patience can help. Are you up to the task?

ETA2: I think this is an approximate outtake from that vid re: living/loving/fighting/fucking - like aren't there palm trees and such? Women on motra-cycles in tight dresses with mustaches etc?



ps. They pour strong drinks in Tampa I have found - attempts to minimize typos proving difficult therefore goodnight!

Hi from Houston!

Which, FYI, is also how they say say Hi in Whoreville, btw IIRC LOL LYLAS BFF ETC

So yes, I am now in the state of Texas, my first official voluntary visit to Bush country. I am here to strike some black gold/Texas tea and bring down the price of crude oil so that you can drive to Walmart for your unnecessary plastic objects. Actually, I probably won't do much prospecting, however, I have promised to find the Canadian something called West Texas Dust (I wonder if she knows it can be purchased via the wonders of the intra-net? Regardless, she wants it and therefore I shall find it.

/on Smoove B: If she wanted, I would purchase her a blanket of fine silk scarves made of the most luxurious fabric and she could lay by the fire while I prepared her the most sumptuous feast of grilled chicken sprinkled with West Texas Dust on a bed of baby lettuce and small bite-sized carrots. For dessert we would have chocolate cake with icing. After I had fed her this meal, I would turn on some soft R&B classics, like Luther Vandross maybe if she would like while I poured her a flute of sparkling wine. We would then get our freak on. Girl, you know it's true /off Smoove B.

Man, where the hell am I?

Oh yes, Texas. It is no wonder there are so many nuts down here, there's something in the water I think. Or maybe I am still recovering from 1) a move and taking a lover, 2) million things to do/no time to do them, 3) KU winning in overtime in quite possibly the best national championship game that was every played in this century hello did you even watch it or what my god that was a GAME.

So I am here for work and will be here until Sat morning. In that time, I shall attempt to solve all your problems, make all your dreams come true, and win the Stanley Cup. Please expect rambling Texas-sized ETAs to this post about everything/nothing and perhaps even some blurry photo-graff-ee-ahs from my blackberry of various/sundry Houston-type things. Whatever that may be. Tall buildings? Cowboy hats? Bush fires? If only the Olympic torch was coming through town, you know I'd snatch that fucker and run with it naked through the streets of this city because I have become that crazy for no apparent reason other than = Texas.

Goodday to you!

ETA: It is all about the Tex-Mex here, I should have you know. Tamales and enchiladas and beer = what I am talking about.





I am here until tomorrow and have to say, Houston was a much nicer city than I would have guessed. Easy to get around is my new criteria for being a great city. If I can get across town without bumper to bumper DCish traffic, I am apparently all about that city. And hello, this was the city that Swoopes built so it's got that going for it too. All in all, a lovely visit, the temp was a balmy 75-80 degrees and really I can't complain (for once!). Texas, who knew??

TA to the VA via AA

Hi, I'm in the process of moving and/or losing my mind. Hard to say which will occur first, wish me luck! I'm traveling next week too so most likely, you'll get a drunken airport post from the great state of Texas. Plan accordingly!

ETA: Look! Someone in my new apt complex has an unsecured wireless. Woo! Maybe I won't have to get cable after all. Two quick questions: 1) How did I get so much shit and 2) Will you come help me unpack? Thanks you Easter Bunny, bawk bawk.

if wishes and buts were clusters of nuts

Could I ask you please to include my strai friend A in your next prayer circle? Or gregorian chant or whatever it is you do. Tonight, at this very moment, she has some football player guy over at her house to "watch the game" which we really know is a set-up. However, tonight we are hoping/wishing that this will pay off in her getting laid b/c she has been bawlbabying about her dry spell via text and phone. Frankly I am getting tired of it so luck be a lady tonight and let our collective prayers be heard. Light a candle, thanks!

Confidential to Oleander: To the list, add "be willing to ask strangers to pray for your straight friend to get laid so she will stop texting you with things like "i NEED to get some soon" at all hours of the day/night".

ETAthenextday: Well you just didn't pray hard enough, now did you. Too busy with requests for world peace and cures for this and that. Much like the groundhog, I am in for six more weeks of hearing A cry about regaining her virginity via neglect. Who's suffering now? Me, I say. Who is to blame? You.

it was all a dream about tennessee

Greetings from here!



This is the first of a missive from my many upcoming work travels. Remember the fun that was Ocala, FLA? Yes well, welcome to my life for the next three months. Trips and trips and trips. So briefly, I'm in Tennessee, Tennessee. Found a lovely brewery for beer and appreciate the area so no complaints. Short trip, back tomorrow in the D of C so attempting to enjoy my visit despite the work/stress/whatnot. Expect more of these posts in the upcoming months, hopefully with real live pix and exciting stories of people I meet in airport bars. Stay tuned!

ps. Did you know Pat Summit rules this town with an iron fist? Oh yeah..

ETA: You will also enjoy a number of these Edited to Adds wherein I post follow-ups from the airport bar because my flight is delayed. In this one, I will tell you that I am enjoying a Coors Light in a small Ruby Tuesdays and the server gal looks/talks like Reese Witherspoon in Sweet Home Alabama which is not a bad thing. I can also recommend that you should Tap Into Good Times on your next visit here. That is all.

ETA2: Yeah, I can see this becoming a regular feature wherein my flight is delayed 2 hours, I consume some beer, take random pictures with my phone, and start rocking uncontrollably. Holla!

testament to youth in verse

So you know how I'm moving soon. Like in three weeks. Well, I've been doing the requisite sorting of shit, Goodwilling, moving heavy boxes. Basically doing what I loathe to do. But times like these give me the chance to cull the herd so to speak and I have been getting rid of stuff. As a result of said culling, I have had to go through old boxes and have come across some gems from my youth tonight. I would like to share some of these antiques with you b/c I can think of no one else who would care. Except for Billy Hicks and possibly the band Berlin who will maybe google themselves and find this. So here you go:

First up is a picture of a picture. As the caption on the back attests:



this will be a picture of my bedroom circa 1985. Behold:



Two things will jump out at you. First, you will be startled by the posters on the wall, for one is of Rob Lowe and the other is of John-Eric Hexum (who tragically shot himself and who is probably only remembered by me and his family). Please excuse - I was still young and clearly naive as evidenced by the fact that there is also a contingency of stuffed animals and a big piggy bank on my dresser. That whole Not A Girl/Not Yet A Woman thing going on apparently. Ah youth.

Next up is a videotape that makes me wish I still owned a VCR. I thought I had lost this, but I found it at my mom's house years ago mixed in with her tapes. I somehow doubt she watched it. My long-time love of Berlin the band is no secret.



The 'playlist' is classic, covet this at will if you must:



Here is what we wore back in the day when we didn't have Swatches. Someone across studyhall could tell the time off your wrist, it was that big. Like our hair. This was post parachute pants era but pre-neon. I think. I forgot to put my phone next to it so you would have some sense of scale, but trust me on the size. We were queens of size re: all things back then. Flava Flav saw my watch and asked for his own bling, but smaller.



We're now in the early 90's memento-wise and what could be more telling of my future than the two items below. Don't think I didn't have to fight off more than a few ladies with severe haircuts to catch this, my friends. Chicago 1993, first row, baby!



And finally, before it was splashed on the cover of People, I knew something was fishy. Ahem. This gal led a double-life as a young grad student in the early-mid 90's. Yep, I'm gay!

PSA

So, you know, sometimes we sorta don't take as good of care of ourselves as we should. Maybe we blow off those yearly doctor's appointments or just kinda assume the best without taking preventative steps and regular health checks etc. I'm guilty too. I haven't found a doctor out here yet and it's been awhile. But sometimes, you know, you realize that you're not getting any younger and you need to stop making assumptions about your health and just do it.

I will be making one of those appointments soon. I found out today that my first girlfriend, who I've mentioned here and here, has breast cancer at the age of 42. I'm really upset quite honestly and am hoping for the best for her. She had a partial mastectomy and will begin chemo in a month. Man. I don't know what else to say.

So maybe if you think about it, you'll do a self-exam this month and make that appointment if you need it. For me? Please?

1851 -1895

Well today was a good day to have to "work from home". The heat went out again so the oil company and furnace guys had to come etc etc. It got up to 60 degrees today (that's 15.5 degrees celcius btw) and I just got back from taking the dogs for a long walk in the woods. It was perfect. While traipsing around, I came across an old homestead and found this:

if you sprinkle when you tinkle, be a sweetie, wipe the seaty

I don't even know what to say about this story out of my favorite state. It's either an extreme case of rural Secretary or just plain sad. I shall refrain from contemplating what exactly 'natural means' really..means. Aye.

ps. I shall also refrain from defending the title of this post which is now being played on repeat in my head. I have no one to blame but myself. Goodday!

ETA: More follow-up here to this "gripping" story, which of course will be small-town fodder for years.

It's always mimosa time

So this weekend, my old grad school friend from Cleveland braved the blizzard over in O-hi-o and is here visiting. She drove and got out on Friday, but could only make it to Fredrick, MD before she had had enough, drove the rest of the way on Sat. As it was, it took her like 8 hours to get there, when the trip on a normal day would be 5.5 or 6. Anyway, she's here and we've been catching up/drinking wine/eating/listening to music. Yay!

Yesterday, we went into Dupont Circle and had brunch at Kramerbooks. It was lovely - mimosas! Then we headed over to Eastern Market which was my first time there and which was smaller than I thought it would be. Not entirely sure I'd go again, but maybe in the summer when there's more booths/stuff. I don't know..my tolerance for browsing booths of silver jewerly and wooden knicknacks/whatnot has never been high. Surprise!

I'm taking the day off today from work to hang out some more. We haven't quite figured the plan (I've got one of those negotiate-the-impossible conference calls in the middle of the day) but we may go up to Baltimore. Then again, we may just hang and cook and drink wine and repeat. It's all good, yay for friends!

answer = yes

This is the text I just got from my strai friend A:

I'm listening to the indigo girls by myself...sad or not?

I kind of hate to break it to her..

the things we do for love

Oh you know how it is, there ain't no shame.

1. Watch hockey. Actually know which teams are which, though the rules may elude. Even develop a little crush on hometown team's best player, refer to him as The Russian. He is missing a tooth but that only endears him to you. Hockey? Ovechkin, baby.

2. Take advantage of new free training offered through work = learn French. Je suis un mujer en amore. Or somesuch.

3. Have/Talk about feelings.

4. Develop new and interesting fetishes: Belt buckles. Leather wrist bands. Asymetrical hair. Drum sticks. Canada.

5. Bookmark weather page that shows temp in celcius. Have handy temp conversation on palm pilot.

6. Plan a trip to the other coast in late spring when the weather will be warm - think about nothing but seeing the ocean with her until then.

7. Give up and admit you're hopeless. Blog about it because she's off across the country somewhere and inaccessible. You know how it is.

ETA: 8. Anything.

HRC

FYI, last night I had a dream where I was campaigning for Hillary and I was kind of in an advisory role. As I am wont to do. She was awesome. She also hit on me. As she is probably wont to do. So I called her a scalawag. Yes, I actually called Hillary Clinton a scalawag...for trying to get me in bed in my dream. She just gave me a rogue-ish grin and said she had to go win Ohio or this was all over. I wished her luck and told her win one for the ladies. The end.

ps. I'd so totally hit that, btw.

I guess it's March now?

Did you find that little hamster with his happy feet too much to take? Man is he cute or what..

So, how goes? I have decided that two days on the weekend is not enough to recover from 5 days at Robotech. All work/no play, that kind of thing. Plus also I am feeling like I am running out of time between now and when I move. You know how I get when I have to move = minor freak outs and major stress. It seems weird that we moved here a year ago, like I am not sure whether the time has gone quickly or slowly. I think it's the result of the fact that there were so many changes all at once, it kind of threw off the time/space continuum. So in the last year, I: moved halfway across the country, lost my social network of friends, started a new job, and broke up with my girlfriend. That covers a few on the life events stress test. Thank god no one died this past year.

As a result, I've got this new patch of gray hair at my right temple that wasn't there before, I dropped like 3 sizes in jeans (seriously, I don't even remember the last time I wore a size 6 until now..like high school?), and I can't really tell if I'm happy or not. I'm in that auto-pilot zone where you just go from this day to that day and take your moments of good when they come. Is that just life? Hard to tell. I'm not too miserable, not too content. Things could be better, things could be worse. I guess that's just how it is right now (how it's always been?) I'm only taking stock because I've been here a year and that seems to be decent marker of time.

So I am giving myself another year here for a variety of reasons (e.g., don't want to be a quitter, can leverage this job to get better job elsewhere, don't have legit job prospect back home, attempt to find a way to enjoy/take advantage of city life for a bit). Whatever. Enough of this. Half tempted to just delete this all and post cute youtube videos or something. You know how you're thinking about how things are going etc and you just kind of get tired of listening to yourself process. Even at the best of times, my own tolerance for me talking about me is very low. Sure, this whole blog is me talking about me, but you know. My midwestern sensibilities don't allow for extended mememe. Now this is just getting tedious. It's sunny and warm here today so I am going to stop with this nonsense.

I will, however, post a picture from my lovely evening with the Aussies in which I discovered my new favorite place here in town. We had a nice time and I may see them later today. Baby steps, baby steps.

Normally used as a surface for doing lines, someone misplaced their Duds (box half-full even, I checked):

chomping brocc-o-li, chomping brocc-ooo-liiii

Your moment of zen:

my green thumb

Hola amigos, I know it's been a long time since I rapped at ya, but my neighbors were too busy getting robbed. No kidding. Last night I came home from work to see cop cars out at the house two doors down and they were there hours later. I had concocted this whole story about how one of the older people living there had died b/c I don't even really know them. Turns out they're not old at all, and as I said, their house was ransacked and robbed. No one was dead. Scary shit esp given this neighborhood (read: bedroom community of suburban commuters). Luckily I have two dogs who will go 10-8 on anyone's ass who attempts to steal my latest acquisition: two boxes of Samoas and 1 box of Tagalong girlscout cookies. Don't tell me that if those were spotted on the counter, someone wouldn't pry open the window and risk dog attack just to snatch them. At $3.50 a box, they're like cookies made of gold. ps. Regarding Girlscout cookies, I finally, this year, admitted to myself that I really don't like Thin Mints and I just need to stop buying them b/c all they ever do is sit in their plastic sleeves in my freezer until I move and throw them out. Sometimes, it takes years to admit the truth to oneself but I think I've crossed a threshold to a new and more honest me.

What else? Oh yes, I think I am going to document on this here blog the evolution and growth of my first (potential) new friendship in this godforsaken city. It will be like an anthropological discourse on how cultivating a friendship is like growing weed = time, attention, and appreciation for the end product. Or so friends have told me. (Aside: Once, back in the 70s, my brother convinced my mom that the pot plant that he was growing on the roof was a tomato plant and she would water it for him. It became one of those family stories that is told at holidays and funerals. The punchline of course is that Mom blamed her lack of a green thumb for it never producing any tomatoes).

Anyway, we are discussing the growth of a new friendship here. You've come in at the infancy of this so you get to follow it from zygote to like whatever it will (or will not) become. Backstory: Last thursday, there was some kind of cosmic Metro delay coupled with my lack of being able to deal with it so I just gave up and decided to come up from Metro Center and walk to Gallery Place. In fact, I contemplated just walking around the city in like one of those movies where you see someone kicking down the sidewalk, braced against the cold, alone in their thoughts in a big city, trying to 'find themselves' etc etc. Instead, I decided to go for beer. There's a brewery nearby that's not bad (not great, but not bad) so I went and got a drink and exhaled. Then, out of seemingly nowhere, a conversation with a guy sitting next to me occurred. He is Australian, his wife got a job here, they just moved to the city a week ago. She joined us and we had several more beers, discussed politics and sports, joked about America and bonded over LJ. Our tiny tiny friendship became a seed. We emailed the next day, we texted over the weekend, and on Thurs, we made plans to have drinks again. I now have a potential new boy and girl friendship. I will call them the Aussies and will update you all on our growth. It will be like our science project: Can I actually make a friend in this town? Wish me luck!

How's your world?

Living with ghosts

For your aural pleasure on this Saturday night..

Goldfrapp - A&E



Alison Krauss & Robert Plant - Please Read the Letter



Aimee Mann - Humpty Dumpty



Ending with an oldie/goodie:

Patty Griffin - Every Little Bit

cheddar change

Well I know you've been waiting on pins/needles to hear how I did in Atlantic City. Frankly, I am not sure how you could deal with the suspense. Somehow you managed. You're a trooper, I've always said. And a good soldier, a tiny dancer, a crazy diamond shining on, etc etc. Go you.

And go me because I doubled up my cash with my blackjacking ability. See, you may not know this, but in the past, I've financed a new ipod and a therapy session with my cold/hard cash winnings from gambling. You know I've got the poker moves, but I also have some skills on the other tables. I'm pretty good at the whole BJ thing. And blackjack. Holla!

Where was I? Oh yes, so here is a piece of advice if you ever plan to drive to Atlantic City. Do not pay attention to your GPS or the directions on the casinos' websites. If you look at a map and go, hmm, I think I'll take 40 through southern Jersey b/c it's more direct and it's a highway, then you deserve the snail's pace that that two lane highway will allow. You will regret the choice. It will add an extra hour to your drive and you'll wonder if you're actually driving through mid-Missouri given all the small towns and cows. Who knew?

Here is another piece of advice. When you are sitting at the most minimum bet table at a casino (i.e., where each hand you're required to bet at least $15), be prepared to deal with gamblers who think they are on the World Series of Poker and who will give you lip if you don't play BJ the correct way. Now I play BJ according to the standard method (yes, there is one) and on occasion, I'll go against the probabilities and do my own thing. It's a free country. So this old guy got all lippy with me b/c I didn't double down on an Ace-8 or whatever and after a bunch of hands of his mutterings about my playing, I had had enough. I challenged him to a duel. Not really, but would have. But I did get pushed into calling him out and asking him if he was such a blackjack pro, why was he playing at the tourist/baby table with a $15 minimum when his skills clearly deserved the big boy table. And how was his adult diaper holding up? Or something like that. He shut up after awhile and I got up to walk off the irritation. I swear, gamblers are the biggest babies in the world.

Despite all that, I exercised patience and stamina and doubled up my initial investment of $200 and came away with a profit of $250 - which is a car payment I say. No complaints. And I had enough comps to get a free buff-ay dinner. Hey, I few opportunities to indulge the vices that I do have, so I say smoke 'em if you got 'em, there's time enough for countin' when the dealin's done.

So now you know and can rest easy tonight, knowing I came/saw/conquered Atlantic City. The end.

ps. Ms Snarker, we should have put some cash on the big IU/Purdue game tonight, huh?

and these skies of blue

I will eventually post about my trip yesterday to Atlantic City, but today, I'm going to post a picture of the Konza Prairie because it is still winter in some places and it's good to remember that summer is not too far off and warm.





So ask me in that way you do
and I'll leave these fields and come to you..

- Praire Town - Wailin' Jennys

outer loop closed, inner loop open

Well, I braved the ominous ICE STORM WARNING to vote for Hillary tonight after work. It most definitely is bad out and apparently, people have been stuck on some highways not moving for hours. I'm going to assess tomorrow whether I will "work from home". It didn't take me that long to get home (unlike the great 3 Hour Commute of 07) and I am not one to bitch too much about the weather. I reserve my wrath for people who can't deal with it. In fact, I am a long time Weather Channel geek and it's been awhile since I posted a radar picture. Consider it done.



And with that, I am going to make a vodka tonic and shake off this long day off. Way way too much "negotiating the impossible" going on this week. By the end of it, I may be reduced to but a shell, wrung of all ability to empathize and/or communicate with other human beings. I'm already practicing my new piece of advice: You are on your own, tiny dancer, shine on or fade out.

Oh no thanks, I couldn't possibly take another!

So I guess Virginia is for lovers (that's what they say) so maybe I'll find out for sure. I found an apt over there which is good b/c it's a million times closer to work. Like I won't be spending 3 hours a day commuting to/from work and I might actually have time in my life to do other things like sleep in and/or walk the dogs and/or do things people do when they have time (read? drink? gaze at one's own navel?). Instead of 15 Metro station stops across one side of the city to the other, I will only have 5. Instead of dealing with the green and the red and the blue and the orange, I will only deal with the orange. 1 train. Is it possible I might start liking people/human race again? A girl can dream.

So Virginia being for "lovers" reminds me of way back in the day, when an ex and I went camping with an acquaintance on a little island near Newport, RI. I barely remember her now (the acquaintance, not the ex) but as we were sitting around having drinks/camping, this gal was talking about how she, quote, "didn't take lovers". Remember when Rachel Dratch and whatshisname on SNL did that bit about "my lover"? It was said exactly like that, but this woman showed no such irony. She was serious and all like "Yes, to be honest, I don't take lovers". As in, "I'm sorry, but we don't take applicants at this time". It was like her policy not to take a lover - as if she were someone a century ago discussing her habits while taking tea in the drawing room. "Oh I don't take lovers, you see. Mummy always said it would wrinkle my crinoline petticoat. More tea?" I don't remember what her reasoning was either (I mean really, who doesn't take a lover except those who celebrate celibacy and abstinence = no one I know, but hey, to each her/his own). I don't remember the point of this story other than I think that Virginia's motto is gay.

That's all I got. I'm off to take a lover. I mean walk. I bid you adieu!

my beat is correct

Oh man. So it's been a busy here, like draining crazy busy. I won't detail the details, but remember my work "boxes"? I pretty much hit all of them this week and added another which is "actual tedious work". Lots and lots of "people management" that I am now considering calling "therapy". And which is exactly why I didn't go into clinical psych way back when. People require a lot of hand holding. The end.

So today, I "worked from home" which basically meant I slept in and took the dogs to the vet before an afternoon meeting downtown. The unfortunate thing is that at the vet, I learned that my baby dog (who you know and love from this blog) tested positive for Lyme. Not happy about that at all and will need to do a bit more research on it before I decide to freak out. I am also trying to blame this fucking place and its fucking ticks but ultimately, I have no one to blame but myself for not making sure she was constantly treated for fleas and ticks. Kinda sucks to be responsible for your own dog's illness. Bummer.

What else. I am going this weekend to look at potential apartments over in VA. My lease at this place is up at the end of March and it is clear that I need to move closer to work to attempt to retain the last remnants of my sanity. Though of course I would miss the cross-town Metro ride like nobody's business, you know me, all about the Metro love. I am not even thinking about the fact that I have to pack up my stuff and move it. Remember how much I bitched about moving in general? like constantly bitched? I will try not to do so again. It's all good, I love change. I will roll with the punches and be jello. Hell yes. My beat is correct.

Oh and I guess there's some kind of political happenings happening? Hill and Bill were just down the road at some school today. We all vote next Tues and here's the thing. I can't even get it up to care that much at this point, I just want a Democrat to win. I prefer Hillary and will vote for her in the primary, but frankly, either one will do as long as it's not a Republican. That's the bottom line, right? It's just too bad those two can't put their visions of glory aside and have a combo HIll/Bama ticket. It'd be unbeatable. Anyway, this town is finally starting to move a little bit after the gloom it's been under.

I think that's it. Oh yeah, I'm still all in love with a Canadian drummer girl. At the end of last summer, I was up in a northern city visiting and we were having a little breakfast in this cafe. She ordered for me in french. It was sunny and warm, we had the whole day in front of us. And she was wearing sunglasses inside, drinking her allonge' all happy. I took pictures to capture the moment. In the last one, she took off her glasses and smiled this crazy soft smile and that is when I fell in love with her.

I'm a binary code that you cracked long ago

Well, as some would say, it's Friidaay Night! Here are four very different sounds to mess you up. Wherever you are, I hope you've got a bit of music and some wine, I know I do.

Aesop Rock - None Shall Pass




Radiohead - 15 Step





Band of Horses - Ode to LRC



Sia - Academia



ps. How cute is she?