Here is a title that captures the essence of this entry

A couple of random things:

1. Sure we got a little bit of ice/sleet, but the 8-12 inches of snow predicted? It missed us to the southeast. I am sad b/c I so love major snowstorms and I was all ready to be snowed in and romp around with the pups and have a hard time remembering that I was wearing shorts a mere two days ago. Sigh. I say if it's going to be cold as shit, snow makes it bearable. Regardless, we had a fire tonight so that was nice.

2. As a result of above ice/sleet/snow to the east, my school teacher friend A had the day off and we made a run to various and sundry places and then eventually went downtown for coffee. The best thing is that her school cancelled for tomorrow and we plan to have a long breakfast with glorious newspaper reading and discussions of this/that. We tend to laugh a bunch when we get together plus most of our conversations eventually make their way to sex. Come to think of it, so do many of my conversations with lots of other people. Yes, I am a 14 year old boy. Wait, scratch that..I'll probably get some dude emailing me now. I'm really a thirty-something lesbian with a girlfriend who carries a gun. No, kidding. I'm a suburban mother of six...a Buddhist monk..a..ok, where the hell was I?

3. Here are two home projects I shall be doing this weekend: a) putting window insulation up (The Agent complains that she is constantly cold and believes the culprit to be window drafts), b) replacing the wax seal on the toilet in one of the bathrooms. (Confession: I am secretly looking forward to b way more than a b/c I have never done it and I found fucking amazing website that goes through it step by step. I always feel very efficacious when I learn a new home repair skill. I will most certainly keep you updated with the results of my labor. I may even take pictures because I know you really really want to follow along at home).

4. I have been listening to the Yeah Yeah Yeahs quite a bit this week.

5. I have not watched a minute of womens college bball yet this season so I was very excited to catch the Purdue/UConn game. I had to cheer for my undergrad alma mater but alas, they came up short. There is no reason for me not to attend the local wbb games here in town other than I have forgotten and need to put the schedule someplace where I can see it.

6. The Agent and I rented a movie last night while it iced and we had a fire going. Imagine Me and You which, while not being the most titilating girl-girl movie, was, we both had to admit, very cute. The only disturbing thing about the movie was that Giles from Buffy looked like he was suffering from a case of dementia, and subsequently, his face had this, well, crazy look to it that gave me the heebies. He looked ancient and I was like, wasn't he kind of youngish in Buffy? (could I use more commas?)

7. I forgot to mention that in addition to it being warm enough to wear shorts, we all went camping last weekend and it was lovely. Perfect weather. I took the Baby Dog with me and she loved it. However, we have been finding ticks on her left/right b/c I forgot to get an extra thing of Advantage to put on her. Left the Big Dog at home with The Agent, but even she got in on the tick action as we found one on top of her head last night. We have been trying to play blissfully ignorant and not think about where/if there are ticks about in the house. Because they're not.

That should cover it, enough of chatty cathy. Goodnight!

ETA: Yeah, I thought I was done too. But I finally finished all that tag/label business. I am not sure what it means when I have 20 posts about my vices and only 7 for search for meaning. You know what? I'm going to add 'search for meaning' to this particular entry now because I don't know what It All Means!

Ice and Thunder

I know that the weather is crazy everywhere these past couple of days, but just yesterday it was 70 degrees and I was wearing shorts while riding my bike. This is what it looks like today:



Time to tuck in tonight and have a fire!

Dog walk

On Saturday, I saw two lynx crossing the path and heading into the woods, I thought at first they were wild coyotes, but I was close enough to see them and noted their bobbed tail and that they looked cat-like, but bigger. It was pretty awesome because I had never seen them before around here. And then when I drove home and turned into the driveway at dusk, there were two deer and a fawn in our front yard just staring at me. I swear, I've noticed more wildlife since we've moved here than in the three years combined in the old place. I like it.

I took the dogs on another walk the other day when it was warm and sunny. Or I should say, they took me. We went out on the other side of the lake, near the river, not very far from the bike trail I ride all the time. Naturally I took some pix and video to share. The camera work is choppy b/c I'm being pulled along -- I may have to delay this submission for oscar consideration until next year. Enjoy!





Prairie

Surveying her domain

Cold drink/long walk

Or so you wrote

In my head for days:


The Painted Desert can wait till summer.
We've played this game of just imagine long enough.
Wait till summer?
When I'm sure the rains have ended, the blooms have gone,
every one killed by the morning frost.

Is a cactus blooming there in every roadside stand
where the big deal is cowboy gear won in Japan?

The Painted Desert can wait till summer.
We've played this game of just imagine long enough.
Wait till summer?
When I'm sure the rains have ended and the blooms have gone,
everyone killed by the morning frost.

Is a cactus blooming there upon the Northern rim
or in the ruins of the Hopi mesa dens?

You met a new friend in the Canyon, or so you wrote.
On a blanket in the cooling sand, you and your friend agreed that,
the stars were so many there they seemed to overlap.

The Painted Desert can wait till summer.
We've played this game of just imagine long enough.
Wait till summer?
When I am sure the rain has ended, the blooms have gone,
everyone killed by the morning frost.

Was a cactus blooming there as you watched the Native boy?
In Flagstaff trailer court, you wrote the line:
"He kicked a tumbleweed and his mother called him home where the Arizona moon met the Arizona sun."

I wanted to be there by May at the latest time.
Isn't that the plan we had or have you changed your mind?
I haven't read a word from you since Phoenix or Tucson.
April is over will you tell me how long before I can be there?

- The Painted Desert 10,000 Maniacs

Is that alright?

Speaking of music, I've been listening to Damien Rice's new song, 9 Crimes, kinda obsessively.

I'm off to hang with A today and play about town. She took the day off and our gay boyfriend, M, is coming to town as well. We love him. I suspect lots of coffee will be consumed and the following topics will be discussed: sex, possibly fashion, sex. Between the straight girl, the lesbian, and the gay boy, we'll have plenty of material to cover!

I didn't really mean to get into all that, all I wanted to post was a fun little 'I'm listening to this song and we're going to talk about sex all day today, weee!' Oh well...

ps. I should also like to note that as of today, I have not consumed any alcoholic beverages for exactly 2 months! Strange, but true. Those shock therapy sessions at Betty Ford must have really worked. I'm feeling better and healthier than I have in a long time. Diet/exercise/no booze. And this is exactly why not having a single vice left makes me feel way too old and gives me a little bit of an itchy trigger finger. I know myself well enough to know that I tend to look for trouble when I don't have adequate vices to balance out good living. Yeah, you know me...

Music for Riding: Fall 2006

Here are my two playlists for bike riding now that the weather has turned cold. File this under the new label: No one cares what's on your iPod. And look! I figured out how to publish it on iTunes. Consider it my mixed tape to you!

Fast Fall Mix 2006

Slow Fall Mix 2006

Hey, can someone let me know whether you can actually access these iMixes or whether they only show up on my iTunes? Thanks.

And that's how I roll in the Big K to the S, suckas!

Let the train whistle blow

And now for something not-so-completely different.

I talked to my Dad yesterday and found out that he had been robbed. Someone actually broke into their house in the middle of the day and took a bunch of old money he had been collecting. He's still trying to figure out what all is missing, but mostly silver certificate dollars and old silver coins etc. Even though it sucked, he didn't seem to be too upset about it. I know I would have been on an ass-kicking mission to find the punks. I had The Agent call him and chat, not that she can do anything other than he likes her and they tease each other. She offered to interrogate any persons of interest for him. He once called and told her he had found an old bone on his lake property and wondered whether she'd want to come investigate it and see if it was Jimmy Hoffa. My dad looks a lot like Johnny Cash, even more so as he's gotten older but also when he was younger. He's a retired railroad man and right now, a pretty damn good Texas Hold 'em player. He taught me how to fish, how to golf, how to drive. He indulged my tomboy ways when I was a kid and coached my softball team, bought me a bb gun, and took me to Dairy Queen for lunch. When my parents got divorced when I was 10, he stayed close and eventually, remarried. I got a boatload of new step-brothers and sisters. My first car was one of his, a 76 Buick Regal that I still miss. He came to football games when I was in college and he has helped me move more times than I care to count. He was the first person I called the night my mom died. I knew I would need his help figuring out what to do next. Our conversations now consist of the following things: the weather, sports, how my car is running, birds, what's happening at the Navy Club, what project am I working on in the shop, and what The Agent is up to these days. You know, surface stuff. Since my mom died, we have had a couple of very personal, intense conversations -- which are often a curse and a blessing. I have found that as I get older, the truth doesn't necessarily get any easier to hear and it's impossible to resist. I'm one of those people who would rather know than not, even if knowing is the more painful choice. So my dad and I now walk that line between doing the Midwestern thing of talking about everything but what really needs to be said and truth-telling. I'm more like him than I realize at times and I'm perfectly content to talk about Bobby Knight and the cold front that's coming through today, better get the car in to be winterized and what time is it now in Indiana - an hour ahead or an hour behind?

So say we all

Ok, so The Agent and I finally got through the first season of Battlestar Galactica this past weekend. We ended up renting it and then doing some marathon sessions. We're hooked for sure. I'm still pissed that we only discovered it this season. I don't watch too many shows with any regularity any more so right now it's just this and South of Nowhere which is handy since they're both on Fri night. I'm not always home, but I try. Anyway, whatever, just babbling.

Minor point: We both can't stand Baltar and his constant ego-driven dick. We also don't care much for the blond chick in any of her incarnations. We are tired of watching them have sex and wish for it to stop.

Mid-major point: Finally Lucy is doing quality TV and not stupid vampire bats or whateverthefuck movie of the week shit she was doing. How about scoring ROC for some guest episodes? Ohh..they could totally tie in an Uber situation with Evil Cylon Xena and Undercover Human Spy Gabrielle who totally infiltrates to the inner Cylon circle and redeems 3. Subplot of Gabrielle having to sex her way through every D'anna model until she found the primary Xena model. I'd even be satisfied with someone fanfic-ing that. It'd be a perfect cross-over.

Main point: The Agent is in love with Roslin and I'm in lust with Starbuck. I'm sure this says something about our relationship.

ps. I switched over to the new betablogger and now am obsessed over post tags. I'm a little scared to see how many posts over the past years will be tagged with stuff like "strippers/cocaine" or "boring posts about what I had for dinner". I figure I'll tire of tagging before I actually get through them all anyway. Great, now I'm going to have to re-tag this as "dumb shit no one cares about".

ETA: Yeah, I only made it through 50 before I got bored for the night.

He stopped loving her today

Randomly found out on the Internets

Like grass growing

Am I the only dork watching the returns tonight?

I am cautiously optimistic, but then again, I was the same way in 1994. And 1996. And 2000. We shall see, I hate to get all upbeat and then be beaten down by the public's tolerance for bullshit and hypocrisy.

So I voted in our new place today since we moved recently and are now out in what they call a township and that means we voted in the break room of a volunteer fire department located on N 1100 Rd. And by break room, I am being generous. It was..quaint. And the 3 little old ladies were right in the middle of lunch and were happy to have company. I was the 278th person to vote and they said they were doing brisk business.

Prior to voting, however, I was being given a tour of my friend's family goat farm. Yes, civic duty and goat shit go well together. My friend J and I went camping on her family's property last night (it was an awesome night to go, warmish temps and fullish moon and then fog rolling in) and on the way home, we stopped at the barn to admire her dad's new money making crop. I found out that a Wither goat is a little male goat who has had his set of "hanging chads" banded and that said chads eventually "wither" away and fall off. I didn't ask there were any withered bits amid the goat shit, I didn't want to know. Did you know that the way to tell which goats have been impregnated by the Billy is by having the Billy wear a harness on his chest that contains colored powder? Then all you need to do is look at the Nannies and see which ones got lucky by whether they're marked on their back end. It's like a Rural Rainbow Party! Good times, good times...

That's all I got except they just predicted the Dems to win the House. Maybe all those damn Withers in Congress will grow a set back and do some actual checking and balancing. Too bad it's too little too late.

Plaza Days and Nascar Nights

So it's been a good weekend so far. I helped some friends move yesterday morning and then The Agent and I went into The City on a little date, went to a museum (btw Mrs V - Master of Arts, I saw some of those old tymey Greek vases about which you wax so eloquently - complete with Dionysus and Ariadne and a bunch of drunken satyrs. Of course, given that this is the Midwest, the vase was made out of corn and soybean dye. You would have loved it, my dear. Perhaps for your dissertation?)

After a few hours of wandering around, we went and had coffee (during which we had a quasi-near purse snatching -- which I thwarted. So much for my little law enforcement cheetah and her reflexes!). Then we went to one of our favorite places for beef and had a very lovely dinner. We were home early enough to have some QT. Yay for Saturday night dates!

This morning we got up and around and went for a 10 mile bike ride. The weather is warm and sunny so it was great to get out. And my Chiefs are kicking ass as we speak so all it well. My Boyfriend Tony Gonzales is The Man.

After the game, I'm headed back out to my shop and work on my newest project, which is a shop stool I designed. It has wheels and a lawn mower seat and, if I can fabricate it, a 2-stroke motor and a mini frig. A girl can dream. Don't think I won't have a YouTube video up of me racing it down the driveway whe I finish it. And that is how we roll out here, aight?

Peace out!

The Ice Queen Goeth

I am sorry, but this sneak peek of South of Nowhere's next episode is, I think, the proverbial straw that has finally melted my cold, cold heart.



Or you can watch the original Sneak Peek (of Come Out Come Out Wherever You Are) on The N here and catch the rest of the episodes. Be warned my cynical and jaded friends, if that amount of sugar wrapped up in pretty packages does not crack your hard-shell coating, I can only venture to guess you are of reptilian blood.

This Ice Queen admits defeat at the hands of Teen Lesbian Angst and Cuteness.

Mom's Beef and Noodle

In which I discuss cooking and go on and on and on...

So I made a big batch of beef and noodles tonight because it's that time of year - chilly and dark early. It turned out exceptionally well due in part, I think, to using a cast iron skillet. Have I rhapsodized about cast iron skillets? Now, growing up, my mom never had cast iron, but my dad and stepmom did. And as any child of divorce will tell you, each parent had their own way of cooking and if you're lucky, you pick up a thing or two. I only recently purchased a cast iron skillet and I have no idea why it took me so long. They aren't great for cooking everything, but let me tell you, it is worth the investment for the things that are made better by cooking in cast iron. And the beef and noodle recipe I used tonight is a very good example.

My mom was from Louisiana and you don't cook anything down there without a decent roux. Whether it's gumbo or crawfish etouffee, it all starts off with a roux. The cajuns have their holy trinity (bell pepper, onion, and celery), but this particular recipe uses a more French style roux with onion, celery, and carrots. And it uses Crisco instead of butter as the fat in which you brown the flour. It is completely worth it take your time and expect to spend a good 30-40 minutes just stirring and cooking the roux to a nice dark brown. Otherwise, I can't guarantee the results. And by stirring, I mean constantly hovering over the skillet for that whole time, only letting it sit maybe 20-30 seconds at the most. The flour will burn otherwise. You should also prep your veggies ahead of time by mincing them and have your meat cut up because you can't take time away from your precious roux to deal with that kind of shit. This is a labor of love, very hands on, and will take a while to make, but it's perfect for nights like this and a beverage of your choice while cooking (aside: It has now been 6 whole weeks since I last had a drop of alcohol - thank you Betty Ford ;)

So here are the ingrediants and then I'll give the steps:

Mom's Beef and Noodles

Roux

4Tbs Crisco
6Tbs flour
1 medium onion (minced)
2 stalks celery (minced)
1-2 carrots (minced)

Beef:

1-1.5lb or so of chuck roast, arm roast (cubed in bite size pieces)

Broth:

1 can beef broth
1 can water
salt
pepper
dab or two of worchestershire sauce

Method:

1. Prepare roux by putting Crisco in cast iron skillet on med-low heat and let melt fully. When melted, add the flour and start stirring. Keep an eye on the heat, turn it down low once the skillet and roux get warm enough. You'll know by whether the flour starts sticking to the bottom of the pan. It will do this as you cook it so just keep stirring and mixing that up. The cast iron will keep the heat very well which will help brown and cook the roux to a nice dark brown color. As I mentioned, expect to spend at least 30-40 minutes on this.

2. After that time, put in the minced veggies and mix. It will become a gloppy roux mixture, all of it sticking together with very little liquid. This is ok. Just keep stirring it and turning it over for about 10 minutes to get the veggies cooked and tender.

3. Next add the beef and mix that whole glob togther. If you make this, you'll know what I mean when I say glob :) You can turn up the heat a bit to medium so you can brown the meat faster. Don't turn it up too high. You'll again be constantly stirring, but not as much on this step b/c the meat will release juices and keep everything lubricated. This step will last about 10-15 minutes or so.

4. When the beef loses its red color, you will then add the beef broth, the water, the seasonings and cover the skillet and turn down low. Ideally, you'll want to let this mixture simmer for as long as you can to break down the beef and blend all the tasty goodness together. If you can, an hour would be great, occasionally stirring. Just test the beef and see how tender it is and let that be your guide.

5. Serve over cooked egg noodles (or The Agent likes it over rice). Either way, it's hearty, good Midwestern stick to your ribs stuff and it's my Mom's recipe and I only share her stuff with people I like.

360

So I'm still having trouble uploading some pix from yesterday. I took the dogs out to the lake for a good walk and took some pix of various/sundry. I did manage to upload a couple of videos however. It was a very warm windy day and the dogs were loving being outside. The first vid is just a short little thing I took on the way up to a hill near the lake. The next is a 360 shot where I stood on a bench at the top of Sanders Mound. Did I mention the wind? I nearly fell taking the second one and my hair was flying all over the place but yeah, I think I have a future in the movie industry.

(After all, I did direct my favorite thes-bian in several low-budget softcore p()rn movies in the 70's and 80's such as Chica and The Man and Tequila Mockingbird: Boob Radley's Revenge. Of course, this was way before our Betty Ford days and you know how things were back then..poppers and martinis and such).

Anyway: Nature! MegaWind! Dogs!





Sanders Mound in the center of pix behind tree

More to come when Blogger gets its shit together.

Here comes the rain again

As I wait while slowly downloading BSG eps this evening, the weather is a lovely shade of green, yellow, and red. It will be good sleeping tonight!




ps. Here is a semi-non-sequitor for you - if you take the wayback machine to a time when CDs were new technology, the very first one I ever purchased was Eurythmics - Sweet Dreams because I was in love with the song and video for Love is a Stranger and was intrigued by the orange hair. I unfortunately no longer remember my first cassette tape purchased, but the first album I purchased was Johnny Cougar - American Fool back when he actually went by Johnny and Cougar. I am also sad to remind that I am familiar with and have listened to 8-track tapes on a console stereo. All of which is to say that here comes the rain again, falling on my head like a memory!

pps. Egads, it's that damn time of the year again. Luckily, I will be out of town this weekend and we also live out in the very dark country now so I won't have to work as hard to avoid the TorT-ing.

The Green World

I had occasion to look up a Mary Oliver poem this evening and I hopped over to her Wiki entry and discovered an interesting connection I had never known about:

As a teenager, she lived for a brief while in the home of the recently-deceased Edna St. Vincent Millay, where she helped Millay's sister Norma organize the papers Millay left behind

I may be the only one who thinks that is amazingly cool and it makes me wonder how influential ESVM's poetry was on MO. I can certainly see how MO would have read Renascence and been struck with its deeply natural world imagery. I would like to think it helped informed her own poetry with its emphasis on such elements. Anyway. Cool to me.

Bird is the Word

Everytime I see a new pix, I decide I don't care who knows about my love for Sue Bird. It's the off season but thank god she's doing some publicity. I can barely stand how damn wholesome and cute she is. She's totally my type. And hello, she's a premier point guard so you know she has good hands. Yeah.



The next one, I have no words:



Images borrowed from rks' flickr page

Weekend wrapup

So, Friday I think I may have been on the good side of the proverbial Old Girls Club. A contact finally came through and things are looking positive. In my area, it's all about who you know..actually, I'm sure that's true for many many things. But it's one of those cases where you don't want to talk about good things until you sign on the dotted line because of The Jinx. We shall see..

What else? Some old friends from grad school were in town and we had them out to the house Sat night for dinner. Here's the thing: I love kids, I really do. And most kids love me. Kids, pets and old folks are fans of mine. Many of my friends have kids and I adore all of them. Except this one. I don't know what it was about this 6 year old boy, but he's just not a nice friendly kid. Sure there are discipline issues with the parents, but it's something more than just a boy acting out. The Agent had to retire from the situation early and I can't tell you how much I wanted to join her. It was exhausting having to monitor this kid and I developed a very large headache that remains to this moment. Even the Baby Dog, who loves people, went to bed with The Agent just to get away. It's strange and sad to me. I want to like my friends' kids instead of being glad that they live four hours away.

The cool thing (at least to me) about Sat night aside from seeing old friends was that we had our first fire in the fireplace. It was a cold and miserably rainy day on Sat and that night it was freezing. Perfect for a fire. It was glorious. Yay fire! Loved it so much that I made another one tonight b/c it's still nice and nippy. It's the little things, you know?

I miss drugs.

So I've been in a total music mood lately, mainly b/c I've been riding my bike constantly and have the ipod going. You know how you go through periods where it's all music all the time and other times when you don't listen to a thing for months? And remember when I said I really believe that no one gives two shits about what someone else has on their ipod? I still think that so here are the songs I recently downloaded:

• Hold On, Hold -- Neko Case -- Fox Confessor Brings The Flood
• The Golden Age (Beck cover) -- The Flaming Lips --Yoshimi Wins! (Live Radio Sessions)
• Invisible Ink (Live) --Aimee Mann --Lost In Space (Special Edition)
• At Least That's What You Said --Wilco -- Kicking Television - Live In Chicago
• All These Things That I've Done --The Killers -- Hot Fuss
• When You Were Young --The Killers -- Sam's Town
• The One I Love -- David Gray --Life In Slow Motion
• For Us -- Pete Yorn -- For Us
• One (U2 cover) -- Cowboy Junkies --Early 21st Century Blues
• My Skin --Natalie Merchant --Ophelia
• Hands Clean (iTunes Version) --Alanis Morissette --iTunes Originals
• Head Over Feet (iTunes Version) Alanis Morissette --iTunes Originals
  

If there's an awesome cover or a live version of a song I like, I am all over it. I lived for B-sides back in the day. So I'm always on the lookout. I'm a ninja b-side cover queen.

Alright, that be it. The fun never ends.

Confidential to attache: You rock with that bsg tip! Thanks so much!

At Least That's What You Said

pps.

For the last several days, I have played one of Neko Case's songs on repeat. Like, repeat repeat. Hold on, Hold on. When that gunslinger guitar and the drums come in after the first verse? And the haunted vocals? Gah. I would marry that song, you know?

The most tender place in my heart is for strangers
I know it's unkind but my own blood is much too dangerous
Hangin' round the ceiling half the time
Hangin' round the ceiling half the time

Compared to some I've been around
But I really tried so hard
That echo chorus lied to me with its
"Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on"

In the end I was the mean girl
Or somebody's in-between girl
Now it's the devil I love
And that's as funny as real love

I leave the party at three a.m.
Alone, thank God
With a valium from the bride
It's the devil I love
And that's as funny as real love
And that's as real as true love

That echo chorus lied to me with its
"Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on"

Be there or be square

Hey, have you ever noticed that those Classmates advertisement pictures totally look like people you actually did go to high school with or someone you know now? I don't know if it's the 80's hair or what, but check it:



That first chick? That's Nanette, she used to live down the street from me and I don't want to toot my own horn, but she would not have made it through junior year if I hadn't personally picked her up for school every day that year. She wasn't all that academically motivated, you might say. Unfortunately, she met up with a carnival worker named Vonnie (this is not fiction) and got pregnant sometime in senior year. We lost touch after I went to college and I haven't seen her since. But that hair and that jean jacket? Totally Nanette.

The next girl is Charmin. Yeah, I know. We made the same jokes about squeezability behind her back. She used to be in my AP English class and that is completely all I remember about her, except what she looked like. And judging by the height of those bangs, we're somewhere circa 1989. You may wonder why I know the precise year in which girls all wore their bangs and sides artificially stiffened away from their face by half a can of spray to heights of between 3-6 inches. You may also wonder how popular the Turd Curl (one long continuous curl roll created with curling iron and sprayed shitless, framing just the face, descending from top to bottom and if lucky, joined seamlessly in the back of otherwise completely flat hair) was when it made its debut in 1983. I think you ask too many questions.

And finally, that girl on the end. I didn't go to high school with her but do you know what? Irony of ironies, that is totally my current hair consultant Roxanne! I'm not kidding, it looks so much like her I'm tempted to take it in next time I go for a consultation and ask if they raided her mid 90s yearbook. I love Roxanne, by the way, love, love her. I'd have her babies, she is that good. She's my favorite ever. One time I came in and said that I really wanted a new hair style and wondered whether she had a book I could look through on mullets. Without blinking an eye, she goes: "Oh honey, let me get the wine first, I only do that when I'm drunk". We kid. In addition to keeping booze at her shop, she told us that purposely leans over to show off the girls when she's cutting both my hair and The Agent's. She's so sweet! One final Roxanne story. The last time I got my hair cut, she goes: "Can I ask you about something I saw on TV?" and I was like, go for it. And she goes: "Do real lesbians actually take girls into the bathroom at clubs or restaurants and make out with them in there?" Naturally, I replied: "Yes, hello. All the time. That's just one of the many perks, sweetie!" Who does not love a hair consultant who serves booze, shows off her la-las and gets all hip to girl on girl flirting behavior? If she wasn't married, I'd sign her up, even if she had that dual pony tail-ish hair style back in high school.

And that's all I have to say about that, goodnight!

Wood

Heh, yeah. So anyway, this weekend is a total wood weekend. I took some pix of my current project which is restoring an old chair. Had to make new bottom slats and remove all the old finish and resand and fill etc. I also took pix of my shop area b/c it inspires jealousy and covetousness - if you're into that sort of thing. And finally, The Agent and I took in our first country livestock auction this morning to buy firewood by the pile. We have a fireplace now and it's getting nippy at night so it was time for some serious wood. I was bidding on wood like one of the old farmers, doing the head nod and the finger lift. All that was missing was a John Deere hat on my head. Needless to say I loved it. The Agent liked it as well, she almost bought a bunch of little live chickens for 50 cents each, cage not included (bargain I say!). Ah, the country. Now on to the wood!

View 1

View 2

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View 4


Wood!

Baby Dog in Sun!

Gotta have my hustle tight

It's finally starting to feel like fall here. Nice Canadian cold front moving down this afternoon and we're headed for a freeze. This I appreciate. The summer was way too long and way too hot for my taste.

The weekend was lovely, had some good quality peep time on Sat, farmers market and window shopping downtown, then sat outside and ate by the light of a firepit. Had a very chill day on Sun, biking, football watching. Just nice.

Still going strong on the detox front. Coming up on 3 weeks, woo! I swear I haven't drank so much water and mochas in my life. I've found that it's best to have something in my hand during socializing time since most of my friends like their intoxicants so I have been Water Girl. I'm feeling good, it's cool, so there's that.

So The Agent and I have just started to watch Battlestar Galactica on Fri. Yeah, we like to roll in late, catch a quality show in like Season 3 and wonder what all we missed. Aye, so now I'm going to have to figure out how to catch up on S1 and S2, I suppose there are DVDs but I'm looking for low budget alternatives. I have decided my (other) new crush is Sharon/Boomer. She seems tortured and conflicted enough to fit my TV girlfriend archetype. So again with going out to catch up on backstory. This is why one should really start watching a show on Day 1. Why didn't anyone tell me about BSG??

That's about it, the next few weeks are pretty uneventful so I will continue to enjoy the dangers of having too much time on my hands. I really need my job contacts to come through for me before I start, like, a webcam or escort service. Boy, it's hard out here for a pimp, I tell ya.

Make that a double...

Do I make you horny?

I couldn't resist, it's so wrong, it's right! From monagrrl's blog, Lively Writhing:



and finally, this Foley-page video re-enactment is HI-larious*!


*note: Pedophilia is never a laughing matter, what is wrong with you people?? But Republican scandals? Always funny!

flex time

I just spent the better part of 2.5 hours helping put together The Agent's new Bowflex (I keep wanting to call it Blowflex for some reason). For the most part, I hate exercise equip. It's often big, heavy, takes up too much space, and never gets used. Check back with me in 6 weeks, we have until then to return it.

Speaking of The Agent, she invited a couple and their 13 year old son over for dinner tomorrow. Both are law enforcement types so the kid and I are probably going to have to fend for ourselves while they talk penal code or something. It's interesting, but I find most LEO types to be..socially stiff, even The Agent at times. God love em, but it's a rare bird among them that can cut loose and hang. I understand why, but still. Most of my friends are about 180 diff so when I've had occasion to be with groups of LE types, it's like night/day. Granted, most of my friends are on the very liberal end of the spectrum on most issues and those folks are pretty conservative. They tend to stick to themselves and not socialize with people they haven't done full background checks on. I exaggerate, but it's true. I actually had to agree to a background check when we moved in together - I hope they chalked most of my..past indiscretions..up to grad school in a hippy town. Actually, I think they only checked out credit reports and criminal history so no big. The Agent obviously had a much more extensive bg check and polygraph etc etc. This is why I am not in LE or politics, too much dirt!

That's all I have to say about that, goodnight!

Wind-scattered seed on stone and dry land

So I've been riding my bike along this trail were I live and this morning, I decided to take a camera with me.

Little red berries of temptation

I pass this bush/tree near the beginning of the ride and right now, the whole thing is loaded with these bright red berries. I do not find it hard to imagine how people poison themselves out in the woods -- I must resist the very irrational temptation to put a handful of these little berries in my mouth. Must.Resist.

You belong among the wildflowers

The wild sunflowers along the trail are starting to give up the ghost. They were in full bloom the last couple of weeks and now, just the late bloomers are out. The golden rods are still out in force though so the fields are tinged with yellow.

He's going the distance, he's going for speed

I nearly wrecked my bike trying to stop when I saw this guy in front of me. He's hanging out at the 4 mile marker. On this trail over the years, I've seen lots of snakes and turtles and every bug you can imagine. I had not seen a snake this big or of this kind though. After I took the pictures, I had to steer a Suburban Mom away from it b/c she was pushing a baby stroller and yakking on the phone headed right for it. In addition to snakes, the trail is filled with Suburban Moms and Active Seniors.

Snakes On A Trail

Here I am again using the new-to-me closeup function on my camera. It's handy. ETA: After a little bit of internet research, I've concluded that this is a Speckled Kingsnake..and apparently, it emits a very foul odor if one fucks with it.

Take a picture here, take a souvenir

This is my zen. I love this part of the trail because it slopes slightly down and it feels like you could keep going forever on it. If you look far off into the distance just to the right of the trail, you can see some higher elevation land. We live on top of that hill. When all the leaves are off the trees, I'm going to head up on the roof and see if I can see the trail from there.


This way to the Emerald City

If you take the trail this way, it curves around and you get a great view of the lake (man-made, yes, but water nonetheless). Alas, I only went to the 5 mile marker before I turned back around to head home. To the left on top of the ridge that is visible, I had one of those Thou Art That moments years ago. I'm glad to be back among this geography.

Heisman Stance

We are having some freakish heat wave right now, 95 yesterday, today and tomorrow. I thought I left that heat bullshit behind this summer so all I have to say about that is wtf? I do not appreciate it.

And finally, I have been re-listening to the Spinanes a lot lately. Somewhere in the mid 90s, I came across them and they promptly broke up. I had kind of forgotten about them until we moved and I unpacked my CDs to start the long, arduous process of transferring them to iPod. I think I'd describe them thusly: languid and honey-tongued. Two qualities I appreciate in a great many things. So if you're looking for something new-to-you and of that variety, I'm here to preach. Start with Arches and Aisles, you like? Move on to Strand. Trust me.








Your tongue, so close to torture
With everything it seeks
An empty-handed breeze
An empty head it grabs at
As if it could be real
You say you'll leave it up to me
I can't stand to hear you speak
Or to listen to you sleep

- The Spinanes Den Trawler

Habeus Corpus

p.s. I forgot to mention that I had a wacky dream last night where I was hanging out with the Supreme Court justices and I was talking to Ruth Bader Ginsberg. It went something like this: "Your honor, how does it feel not having another woman on the court, didn't you hang with Justice O'Connor? I can't imagine having to spend time with Scalia, how do you do it?" Unfortunately, I don't recall her answers before we all had to hike up this steep narrow hill at the top of which was a very small hatch door going up into some room. Very claustrophobic. The end.

All the perfect drugs and superheroes

So I've been getting back into a healthier routine these last few weeks. Riding my bike (it's been lovely..the wild sunflowers are all in bloom around here and the weather has been perfect for 10 mile rides) and watching what I eat, but most importantly, I'm detoxing from the booze. I mentioned a few nights of debauchery recently and before I went out to Seattle, I decided that I needed to Stop. There have been other periods in my life where I have had the sense to Stop (and other times, where I did not have the sense). I admit it's a struggle and lord knows I'm not the only one. There's a reason people drink; I know mine. My method of cold turkey, not even a celebratory birthday drink, not even a little glass of wine has worked in the past so I'm going to stick with it. My detox is only in its infancy, just barely a week old, but I feel good about it and shall keep it up for awhile. I feel lucky that I'm actually able to Stop when I know others, friends of mine, who just..can't. So yeah, exercise, eating healthy, no booze. There's nothing vice-like left for me except for the strippers and cocaine. A girl has her limits!

CT

So today it was in the low 60s here so I decided to wear jeans when I went out and about, like one does. Around 4ish or so, I had occasion to walk by a full length mirror and I stopped, checking out the goods. I was horrified! I'm wearing this pair of jeans from Old Navy, kind of baggy, definitely not tight. But there in the frontal region, is what looks like a very visible cameltoe. Wha???!! And I'm like, wait a minute..so I move a little and yes, do a quick hand check. Lo and behold, for some odd reason, the baggy fabric in the front there creases just so and is a little faded, folds weirdly and in these jeans, I have a faux cameltoe. TOTALLY not me, I swear. Listen, I'm one to claim my shame, but the CT? Not mine, never has been, never will be.

So then I'm in quite a quandry b/c hello, I don't want to end up on sketchy website for a transgression I did not commit. I notice that if I stand still, CT. Even if I hitch my jeans down low over my hips, CT.

IT'S THE FABRIC, PEOPLE.

Buuutt, if I move quick enough, there's no time for the folds to fold and the faux toe to appear. So for the rest of the day, I attempted to remain in perpetual motion. I was like the wind. Thank god I didn't have to stand around at a bus stop or wait in line at the bank.

I really really don't want to be that girl, esp in this day and age of camera phones and the internet. I am many things, but I shall not be CT-y. I am retiring those jeans as of this moment and they shall only be used for mowing the grass or walking the dogs. And that is all I have to say about that. Goodnight!

Mt Rainier

A few pix of my awesome trip to Seattle. Mountains are love in my book; I appreciate how small I feel next to them. Geologically, they're my favorite things on this planet (though I am partial to ultra-hot deep sea vents, caves, crevasses, and just about every gem/mineral deposit out there). But a mountain..that is humbling and awesome all at once. And being so close to Mt Rainier made me very very happy and peaceful. I wish I could grow my own out here. If only I had a few large granite plates, a little heat, and a bit of friction. Simple, really..

Approaching

Shadow Lake where we camped for the night (6300 ft elev)

Me realizing after two years that my camera has a function for taking pix of things up close

View from Glacier Overlook at sunset


View from Glacier Overlook at sunrise, just left prev pix

Happy bday!

Day late/dollar short, but Happy Birthday, sweetie!. We Librarians know how to rock it so I hope you've been doing that all night long...poppers and Stoli, darling, like the good old days.

ETA

I need to be in bed, but hey, the show tonight was enough to keep me going. I didn't bring my camera but I had my phone so the pix are not quality, but you get the idea. If not, let me recap:

Sexy Guitars + Fuck Me Boots + Hot Scottish Accent = KT Tunstall

Working the Sparkly Guitar

Up Close/Personal

Stoli, hold the tonic and limes

Oh man, too many vodka tonics last night - that's all I have to say about that. Who does that on a Wed? A friend's dad is in town so we did some grilling and such. And I found myself in front of the stereo playing dj which I'm wont to do late at night after a few beverages. Good times. Chalk it up to training for my Seattle trip by staying up until 2am. Nice.

I've got an early flight tomorrow and I don't even need to tell you that I'm going to be napping later this afternoon. Gotta get my shit together before then though b/c tonight it's all about KT Tunstall. (Of relevance to no one but myself, when I first heard her, I totally thought she was like this 18 year old singer from Australia. Then my friend J was like, um, yeah, she's 31..and from Scotland). I think I was getting her mixed up with Joss Stone (though I have no idea where she's from). Annnyywayy, yeah, so the show tonight should be great - it's raining cats/dogs now and there are supposed to be storms all day/night. Not that it matters since it's inside, but I melt when doused with water (that's how we witches roll).

I'm going with aforementioned friends and when they got tix, I didn't even think to ask The Agent if she wanted to go b/c our music tastes are 180 diff (need I mention the whole Anne Murray thing again?). So last week, she's like 'what's on tap for next week?' and I mentioned the show and she goes 'wait, that chick with the horse and cherry tree?' Yeah, so she kinda wanted to go, oops. But I suspect she's glad she isn't going b/c right now, she's down state at firearms practice and getting rained on. She will be in no mood for anything tonight when she gets home that doesn't involve a warm quiet situation. She always comes back from these things all bruised and cut up from having to shoot every gun in their arsenal. She had a bruise on her shoulder for a week from the shotgun alone. Poor thing.

Enough of Chatty Cathy, I'm going to have a little lunch and rustle up some tylenol-type things -- I blame the tonic and limes if you must know the truth. I'll be unable to pass any digital information along all those internet tubes and wires until I return, but I will be taking pix during my trip and will post the naked ones when I return. Yeah, I've got your Mt Rainier right here, baby. Later.


ps. Confidential to Vivvy: Did you receive my monkey? I made it say funny funny things for you, sweetie. Just like the old days when we took our monkey on the road...and you insisted we name it Tequila Mockingbird after that old drag queen who used to hook you up with poppers and wigs. Remember, darling? Good times, good times..

Find another place to fall

So I'm gearing up to see KT Tunstall this week (excited!) and then heading out to Seattle to visit some old friends for a long weekend. There are plans to camp on Mt Rainier, weather permitting. Also excited about that, but to be honest, I'm more excited about catching up and laughing with JJ. You know those kind of old friends you have that know most of your secrets and have the same sense of humor? The last few times we've gotten together for various things (wedding/holiday/etc), there's been too much going on and we haven't had a good conversation about some of the stuff that's been happening with both of us the last couple of years. So I'm looking forward to some drinkage and dishing.

Had a minor scare last night when I discovered that one of the black dogs had eaten one of those mouse poison cubes. I had put one in the garage here b/c there was some evidence of mice and usually, the door is closed. But somehow it got open and both dogs managed to hang out in the garage for enough time to find the cube and eat it. I only noticed b/c I was hyperaware of it given the dogs. I wasn't sure which one ate it, so I ended up taking them both into the vet about 10pm last night. Treatment is a shot of Vitamin K and Vit K pills for three weeks. Luckily, given their size and the preventative treatment of the vitamins (the mouse stuff acts as a major anti-coagulant so you need to get the clotting going again), the vet said they should be ok. You can bet there will be no more mice cubes anywhere they might get to them again. Dogs.

I can already tell this football season is going to be a long one. Chiefs are 0-2 and aren't looking good. Not a happy camper.

Finally, I have no idea why I am up at this hour other than the wine I had with dinner is making my head pound and I dread trying to fall asleep with the pain. I swear, wine has really been letting me down lately. Used to be able to drink it up one side and down the other, but now the headaches are starting to be a given. Again, this camper is not happy. Goodnight!

September Storm

Ohhh..look what's coming tonight. Awesome sleeping weather!



This post brought to you by Weather Geek - never met a doppler radar she didn't love.

So fast, so numb

Great, all this REM talk and now I'm digging through my old cds to transfer over to ipod. I'm a hankerin' for some Strange Currencies and Bang/Blame. Even though I'm partial to older stuff, New Adventures in Hi-Fi is by far their best complete CD front-to-back. And that is all I have to say. Goodnight!

And so it goes

Well, I've finally cleaned up the last of the party we had on Sat. Yeah, I know. But you tell me what I'm supposed to do with a frig full of potato salad? Helpful hint: if you are ever in doubt and think you need to make an extra batch of potato salad for your next party, don't. Trust me, no one can eat that much starch and mayo and no one wants to. So I put off dealing with some dishes and picking up some stuff and recycling until today. It was a great housewarming party (although funny enough, all the gift bottles of wine that ppl bought were gone the next day - and we had a keg so there was booze flowing, I don't know what happened). All my local peeps came by and some remaining friends who were staying over and I were up until 4am. As I've gotten older, I've realized that staying up until 4 requires at least two naps the next day. (Un)fortunately, my Chiefs played like shit so I had a nice halftime and fourth quarter nappage. On the bright side, no hangover at all besides being tired, I consider that a good party.

We also made it up onto the roof of the house that night (with minimal injury). I have a thing about climbing on the roof of anyplace I live, it's like a calling. Our new place is set up high on a ridge (contrary to pop belief, it's not flatter than a pancake here) and so up there, you have a great view of the city and any awesome sunsets. Part of the house is two-story so we made it to the very top and there was a storm rolling in from the west so we could see distant lightening. Very cool and I shall def be going back up there in the future. I'll take a pix next time I'm up there and it's not 4am.

The Agent is out of town until tomorrow so you know, I saw no reason to be all cleany while I'm here hanging out with all the strippers and cocaine. Yeah, that's how I roll when she's gone. So she's off in Buffalo NY (a perfectly nice city, by the way..great brewery somewhere downtown I recall) so I am here with dogs and cat. It's been nice to have the house to myself for a bit. I'm getting used to it and tomorrow will take care of a few outdoor things that need to be done. The Big Black Dog somehow managed to fit her fat black butt under the new chainlink fence we had built so I had to go out today and get some reinforcement stakes. We live right next to a pretty busy highway so the dogs getting out is a major concern. I literally drove down the highway looking for her on the side of the road only to come back to the house and see her running down the street in front of the house. By some stroke of luck, she decided to get into the car instead of continuing to flee. She's a free spirit and always has been a runner since we got her but it's too dangerous here. Plus I don't want the Baby Dog getting any ideas about following her, it'd kill me if she got hit (well, Big Dog too, but Baby Dog is..well, my baby). So tomorrow, fence-mending.

I had a nice but painful chiropractic adjustment today. About every month or so my back and neck get all fucky and I believe in the (semi-) quackery that is chiropracty. Sue me, but it works on my back. Not to toot my own horn(s), but after awhile, a decent-sized bosom becomes a burden on one's back. I know it's my own fault, what with getting those implants for the Dec 92 spread in Playboy, but I've always suffered for my art. (This also explains every perm I've ever gotten). I'm a giver so if my people demand it, who am I not to share the wealth? Did Michelangelo try to hide David's dingaling? No. I rest my case.

Ok, I think that covers the mundane of the last week or so. I also have some new bug pix to share when I get a chance to upload them. Pins and needles you sit I'm sure.

RIP Ann Richards...the last great Democrat in Texas.

To live in this world

Look, the trees
are turning
their own bodies
into pillars

of light,
are giving off the rich
fragrance of cinnamon
and fulfillment,

the long tapers
of cattails
are bursting and floating away over
the blue shoulders

of the ponds,
and every pond,
no matter what its
name is, is

nameless now.
Every year
everything
I have ever learned

in my lifetime
leads back to this: the fires
and the black river of loss
whose other side

is salvation,
whose meaning
none of us will ever know.
To live in this word

you must do three things:
to love what is mortal;
to hold it

against your bones knowing
your own life depends on it;
and, when the time comes to let it go,
to let it go.


- Mary Oliver, In Blackwater Woods

Country Critters # 3

Well, after all that big city LA-type excitement on Sat (how damn cute is Pamie?), you can imagine that I spent the next couple of days recovering. Ok, maybe not, but I spent yesterday mowing the grass and cutting out stumps. And that is the sound of two mice clicking the Back button, right before boredom sets in. But it's true. The grass needed to be mowed and the stupid junipers that the previous neighbors planted in weird places needed to be removed.

So I had occasion to pass by the walnut tree in the yard..and this is what I found:

The Hive

I decided to get the ladder for a closer look. I should have taken video because there was a lot of movement, lots of twitching. Kinda creepy. Here you go:

Resistance is Futile

Um, yeah..those are a bunch of worm-type catepillars, each with a face a little black face and white eye staring back at me stuck together in some sort of hive thing. The whole thing was about a foot and a half long. Oddly, today when I looked at it, all that was left were these dried out fuzzy husks, every single worm was gone. I'd like to assume they've all metamorphasized into beautiful butterflies and flown off to do whatever it is moths do("the moth don't care if the flame is real). Please tell me they haven't burrowed into my ear canal while I was sleeping last night. Except, well, at least I'd have an excuse...that could hold up in court.

Kidding!

Why Kansans Are Weird

So today, author/blogger/pop culture princess Pamela Ribon came to town to read from her new book Why Moms Are Weird. As expected, the reading was entertaining and Pamie was an engaging speaker, deftly handling an..unconventional..library patron who wandered into the session clueless and asked the first non-sequitor question of the day: "What do you think about co-dependency and how do you get out of it?" The crowd was about half and half, Pamie Fans and summer reading program participants who were just there for a prize drawing. She read several chapters from the new book and one from Why Girls Are Weird which had been brought by a Pamie Fan. Then an interesting Q&A, peppered by random conversations with the unconventional library patron. Apparently, there is one in every crowd.

However, the highlight for me was grabbing a quick interview with Pamie before the whole thing started and which I shall share with you now:

I'm a loner, Dottie. A rebel...

Country Critters # 1 and # 2

So I decided to start another photo series, this time documenting/identifying the various/sundry insects and/or other living things to be found around/in our new house. We've only been here two weeks, but already, I've noticed a tenfold increase in the number and diversity of bug types hanging out around here. I suspect it's because we actually have trees and the house is 20 years old vs our previous suburban hell (also affectionately called "Taupe Village" or "Brown Town"..you know, those housing developments where every house is a shade of brown or tan). I digress..

Aside from the million + 1 spiders I've already seen, I'm hoping to re-find the praying mantis and large beetle with the huge pinchers that was making a beeline for my foot two days ago. And then there was that newt-like thing behind the garage. I'm telling you, it's a jungle out there!

So here are the first two pictures, taken yesterday. We're obviously dealing with a walking stick and a beetle of some sort. The walking stick was on the garage and was about 4 inches long (I'm going to start using my cell phone for dimensional comparison but didn't think about it until later). The beetle was walking through the sunroom, probably on his way to tea or something. He curled up in a ball when I touched him to put him by the phone.







Definitely expect more Country Critters; trust me, this is only the start..

Somewhere beyond the bitter end

Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye old friend
I can't make you stay
I can't spend another ten years
Wishing you would anyway

How the sky turns to fire against a telephone wire
And even I'm getting tired of useless desires

Every day I take a bitter pill that gets me on my way
For the little aches and pains
The ones I have from day to day
To help me think a little less about the things I miss
To help me not to wonder how I ended up like this

- Patty Griffin

For reals..

As you know, I'm all about Gawker Stalker/Privacy Watch sightings of former Facts of Life stars. Here's the latest one:

8/18 - Urth Caffe in BH. I was about to ask the couple mulling the menu in front of me if they were in fact in line when they turned to leave, at which point I simultaneously noticed the haggard yet hip woman was The Facts of Life's Mindy Cohn and that she was saying to her hot male companion, "For reals?" They later returned to browse at the coffee selection before eventually getting cups to go. Does that count? Mindy Cohn spending a Fright evening perplexed by the Urth Caffe's offerings and saying, "For reals?"

Gay = happy!

This is how it rolls out here in Kansas. Tell me you're jealous, how much you wish you lived here...


Rainbow flag draws protests in Meade

MEADE, Kan. (AP) - A 12-year-old's gift to his parents -- a brightly colored flag that he said reminded him of Kansas and the Wizard of Oz -- has spawned one of the biggest controversies to hit this town of 1,600 people in a long time.


On Sunday, Police Chief Loren Borger, his colleagues and 16 troopers from the Kansas Highway Patrol kept an eye on protests over the rainbow-colored nylon banner that J.R. and Robin Knight decided to fly on the flagpole in front of their business, the Lakeway Hotel.


Townspeople gathered on downtown corners with their video cameras Sunday morning to watch as members of a Topeka-based church _ whose protests of funerals of U.S. soldiers killed in Iraq spawned restrictive legislation in a number of states _ picketed the hotel because of the flag and five local churches for not doing enough to keep it from flying in their town.


While the flag reminded the Knights' young son of Dorothy and Toto, it's also recognized as a symbol of gay pride. Robin Knight said she and her husband didn't put the flag up to make a political statement, but rather because "it has pretty colors, it's bright, it's summery."


Soon after the flag went up, the local newspaper ran a picture of the banner on its front page, noting its significance in the gay community. Afterward, someone threw two bricks at the bed and breakfast, one of which broke through a window and destroyed two neon signs.


When someone cut the flag down, the Knights ordered two more and said they'll buy even more if they have to.


On Sunday, as the daughter of Westboro Baptist Church founder Fred Phelps protested with 10 of her 11 children, three brothers and two sisters, onlookers shook their heads at the spectacle.


"It's just not right," said Suzan Seybert, a 30-year resident of the southwest Kansas community, as she watched Shirley Phelps-Roper's children chanting about homosexuals burning in hell. "I think it's despicable to start to teach your children at such a young age the word 'hate'. It's just the worst thing you can do."


Mike Thompson, who teaches a class at Colby Community College on the sociology of discrimination, brought some of his students to see the protests. Among them was Kati Near, who grew up in Meade.


"I think a lot of people think we're all just a bunch of bigots," she said, adding that she was embarrassed by what was going on in her hometown.


From the balcony off the honeymoon suite of his bed and breakfast, J.R. Knight blared music such as Starship's "Nothing's Going to Stop Us Now." Nearby, in the Lakeway's parking lot, a car's bumper sticker read, "Kansas: As bigoted as you think," which is a play on the state's "As big as you think" motto.


Robin Knight said earlier this month that the anger spawned by the colorful flag has strengthened the family's resolve to keep the banner flying, noting that caving in to the pressure would send the wrong message to her son.


"It's our business," she said. "It shouldn't be dictated by other people.

Better in theory than in practice..

..which could be said about a great many things. This morning, I'm kind of maybe wishing I hadn't smoked that cigar that sounded and tasted so good last night.

In my defense, I've been chasing an elusive cigar I once had in Albany NY for 8 years - it was a dream and so creamy. I know that sounds dirty (shades of Monica Lewinski, anyone?), but really it was a fabulous and unfortunately, I didn't take notice of the brand. Ever since, I've looked for it, tried a cigar here and there, thinking it might be the one. But alas, I have never found The One. I'm not a smoker and really only like a cigar once every 6 months or so. The only problem is that the next day, that cigar you had the night before remains in your mouth no matter how much you brush or drink. Let this be a cautionary note and another example of what sounded like a good idea at the time..

Hot boxes...

No, nothing kinky, just unpacking about 2000 boxes full of our stuff in 100% humidity - not fun. The new place is way bigger than the old, but somehow, we seemed to have multiplied how much stuff we have by 5. The math ain't working out. So we got in on Wed (took 4 guys and two big moving trucks all day) and have been attempting to unpack ever since. I'm sad to report that I am so unmotivated that I've only finished the kitchen while The Agent has done a shitload; she's got her office set up, the den done, and who knows what else. I'm not sure where her energy is coming from or where mine went. I keep expecting to kick it in full gear sometime soon but so far, it's been weirdly hard to motivate myself. I did however take time out yesterday to try the new riding mower and mowed the whole front/side/back yards. There's only another 1.5 acres to go! Can't complain though, love the space and land.

Met one of the neighbors, nice guy, another cop-type. He and The Agent hit it off talking all that law enforcement stuff while I secretly was happy to have a nice big guy just across the street to help move the heavy stuff. Gotta love boys for that very reason.

It's been nice being back in this town with my peeps, went out on Fri and saw a great show - at some point in the evening I had to give in and go with the flow because it was about 200 degrees in this small club and it was packed with sweating ppl dancing and singing and drinking. I basically said to myself, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em. So I did. As a result of the heat and dehydration and dancing, I woke up to a charley horse in my leg at around 5am - agony. But it was worth it. It's so nice to be only a few minutes from home and have all my friend close by..that place we were living before, aye, couldn't get out of there quick enough.

ETA: A video of that night surfaced on YouTube, I was probably 3 people in front of the person shooting it. Unfortunately, you don't get a good sense of just how hot and sweaty and crazy it was in there. Good times, good times..

Things are good; I just wish I could get my groove back - specifically and in general. I really don't want to have to resort to better living through chemistry again, but something has got to give. I'm hoping this move will inspire some positive changes.

That's it from here -- ps. been trying to watch my WNBA playoffs, but our cable is fucked up with this older house and I completely missed my Storm last night. Good news is my point guard girlfriend Sue Bird did NOT break her nose..again. Can only hope they can pull it off tomorrow night and my cable doesn't let me down. Lauren Jackson needs to bring that shit, end o' story. Peace out

LJ/Birdy

Now She Mama B-Ho

Run Joey Run!

I believe that one of the reasons iPods exist is to provide easy access to obscure songs of our childhood that are only available on those overly expensive Time/Life One-Hit Wonder collections. I'm sad to report that I downloaded the following:

1. Run Joey Run by David Geddes
2. The Night Chicago Died by Paper Lace
3. The Night The Lights Went Out in Georgia sung by Vicki Lawrence

Two things...were you aware that Vicki Lawrence has a whole album of cover songs she did back in the early 70's? On that album, she also sang Little Green Apples and Killing Me Softly With His Song. Classic.

As for Run Joey Run, would can resist the melodrama and mystery?! What wasn't his fault?? Why was Julie's father so enraged he drew a gun? I never gave it a second thought growing up, but I am now convinced it had something to do with an unwanted pregnancy. Oh the teen shame!

But really, the only reason I totally had to have these two songs was for the album artwork available, I think you'll agree:


Ok, click on that Run Joey Run picture...that is exactly what was on the back of the 45 I had of this song and that my cousin Christy and I used to use when we totally sang along to this song 1 million times. Oh the memories! Thank you iPod!

Read to Achieve #2

Since I packed up all my nightstand books for the move awhile ago, I've been without anything to read for too long. And of course, I need one more thing to keep me from writing! So we went to the bookstore the other day and I bought the following:

1. Queen of the Oddballs by Hillary Carlip

A very fun and easy read (I'm already finished), it's the Hollywood memoir of a comedy writer/performer/jill-of-all-trades and has lots of good pop culture tidbits and pictures. This woman met and befriended Carly Simon, won a Gong Show contest, and appeared in Xanadu, what more could you ask for?






2. Why Moms Are Weird - by Pamela Ribon


I started reading Pamie's blog 5 or 6 years ago, another comedy writer who is damn funny. She wrote another book (Why Girls are Weird) that was good and I'm expecting the same here. I'm drawn to witty women, particularly when I'm feeling my most cynical and in need of some levity - like now. Although I mainly read non-fiction, I've been jonesing for some escape. Also with fiction, I like to go with a known quantity - I hate when fiction disappoints and I'm picky enough that it often does. Hell, I think I'm the only person who hates Barbara Kingsolver after only reading 1 chapter because she wrote in present tense. Who does that?


3.
I'm no one you know - by Joyce Carol Oates

Well, ok, so I had to balance out the funny with the angst. I've read several of her short stories and would like to get a better feel for her writing so this collection of short stories should do the trick, particularly when the review says something like: her new searing short stories explore the malevolent aspects of human sexuality with unflinching authenticity and a cathartic fascination. I say, bring on the cathartic fascination and malevolent sex!



4. Autobiography of Red - by Anne Carson

As per our previous conversation re: poetry (see a few entries ago), I decided to check this out. Why are all the angsty women named Carson? (With the exception of a certain insatiable hair consultant of course).








5. The July/Aug issue of Atlantic Monthly

I waded through most of this yesterday. I had a subscription for many years, but the guilt of not wanting/being able to get through every issue eventually made me give it up; also the news was depressing and I couldn't deal with any more stories about war and Bush and the state of the union. Although that's still the case, I wanted a magazine I could flip through and read or not read whatever. I have one story left marked that I plan to read and hey, V, you would enjoy it: The Monster of Florence about a serial killer who preyed on couples making love up in the hills around Florence, IT. Right up your alley! I'm a sucker for true crime and it sounds like this has a bunch of sordid details and sketchy Italian political mechinations going on.

That be it. I need to get out and mow the parts of the grass that aren't dead from the heat and pack up shit in the garage. It's only 85 right now so I'd better get out there - we're supposed to have storms this afternoon so that's cool (they all passed by us last night - did you see the moon? It was pretty incredible and nearing full).

Approach/Avoidance

As a sign of my total lack of motivation lately, I have to have a draft of this article done by Sept 1 to submit to a journal with a group of other like-minded researchers, sort of like a special issue. I committed to this with an extended abstract back in May. It is now Aug 6 and how much progress has been made? Don't ask. And now I've put myself in a bad situation with the move occupying most of the next couple of weeks. Story of my life when it comes to writing, I wait until the last possible minute and rationalize that I work better under pressure (ex. Dissertation written in 4 weeks). But the reality is that these kinds of things take draft after draft and can drag out for months. I know this. So why didn't I start dealing with this in May/June/July when I would have endless amts of time? I blame apathy. Although important, this particular project is going into a mid-to-lower tier journal and it's not like my career is hinging on this publication. I am half tempted to withdraw completely, but feel some obligation to co-authors. So I suspect what will happen is that after we get moved into the new house, I'll spend two intense weeks writing and have a shitty draft of it to send off. Problem is my co-authors will want a look and knowing them, major edits and recriminations! Such things I would not miss from my academic life - if my career situation takes another direction. However, there's the teensy tiny business of ego-involvement and you know, I can't completely abandon my research and whatever small contribution to the literature or to science or to knowledge or to bullshit I might make. It's also why I'm having such a hard time possibly letting go of my academic identity. There's always that little piece of you invested. And that of course feeds into the pressure I'm feeling because I'm frittering away time and not doing a damn thing and oh, here comes the guilt!

All I need to do now is buy a totally irresponsible sports car and date young college co-eds and my mid-life crisis would be complete!

Frankenstein

The most perfect strangers that you can talk to
are the ones who pretend that you're not really you. - Aimee Mann

What not to do

For reasons I would rather not get into, I have pulled/strained/bruised my entire back and every muscle in it. I actually think I bruised my spine, no joke. As further punishment, I was hung over for most of the day yesterday. Good times...not.

It was a nice and balmy 102 today - sloth weather. I hate it.

I can't wait until we actually get into the house so I have something to do and focus on - I think I'm starting to go nuts. As my friend and I once discovered while eating mushrooms (yes, those kind), if your actions are not goal-directed (i.e., you have a sense of purpose for everything you do), your whole sense of being breaks down. We discovered many Universal Truths that night to be honest, but I'm digging the whole goal-directed thing right now. Without any, you can find yourself adrift. And you know what that means: Existential Crisis! Good times, good times. See, this is what the heat does to me, saps any energy or motivation and I'm left to scribble terribly melancholy blog entries about The Meaning Of Life (or Lack Thereof). You can correctly conclude that I am no Joy to be around these days, but alas, the sun will come out, tomorrow, bet your bottom dollar! Fear for me, I'm quoting Annie. Goodnight!

And I, wanting to be great to you, said Oh Yes..

Viv posted an Anne Carson poem that I really liked and I just now realized why: It reminds me of my favorite translation of Rilke. There are many translations, but I like this one:


I'm too alone in the world, and yet not
alone enough
to make every hour holy.
I am too small in the world, and yet not
tiny enough
just to stand before you like a thing,
dark and shrewd.

I want my will, and I want to be with
my will
as it moves towards deed;
and in those quiet, somehow hesitating times,
when something is approaching,
I want to be with those who are wise
or else alone.

I want always to be a mirror that reflects
your whole being,
and never to be too blind or too old
to hold your heavy, swaying image.
I want to unfold.
Nowhere do I want to remain folded,
for where I am bent and folded, there
I am lie.

And I want my meaning
true for you. I want to describe myself
like a painting that I studied
closely for a long, long time,
like a word I finally understood,
like the pitcher of water I use every day,
like the face of my mother,
like a ship
that carried me
through the deadliest storm of all.

Remember nothing and ..

ps. I'm excited, The Agent picked up one of these shirts for me today, it's so very perfect:

What lies beneath

So the Big Dog has been obsessed with something under the deck for like, weeks. She's constantly sniffing between the boards and trying to dig along the edges a little. Whenever I look out, she's on guard. I have narrowed down the possibilities based on the available evidence: a turtle - there's a particular box turtle that's been haunting our yard for a year or two, found it once in the garage, once in the garden, and many times in the yard. It has a little tear on the shell so it's the same one. Maybe it's made its home under the deck; a little salamander/newt/gecko thing - I looked out the window the other day and saw this little 3 inch thing making its way through the dogs' yard by the deck and crawl up under the stone steps. So, I think that's what we're talking about here. Luckily, Big Dog is on the job protecting us from such.

Last night I went into town for a going-away party - couple of friends are moving out to Portland. In fact, it's my friend R who A and I used to go out for coffee with etc. Anyway, we set her up with a mutual friend the very day of our winter excursion and now they're together and headed off to new digs. Very happy for her. Party was nice and mellow and I got home early enough last night which is good. I've been keeping weird hours so getting back on schedule is a good thing.

Finally, The Agent is being a curmudgeon. So you know we're moving next month, but in the current little suburban subdivision we live in, they're having this Neighborhood Watch/Night Out ice cream social thing. No big, I think it's nice for ppl to know their neighbors. This year, however, they planned for it to occur basically right in front of our house. We're at the end of the street so it's a logical choice and I guess at the last meeting, they thought we'd already be gone. Because they set up tents and shit, cops and firefighters stop by etc etc., it can be quite a gathering. And there are more houses/ppl than there were last year. I don't really care, it's no big to me. So when The Agent finds out that it's going to be in front of our house, she's gets all curmudgeonly about it and wants them to move it. So I had to promise her that we'd simply park the car somewhere accessible and we'd go out to dinner and movie that night. She gets all weirded out about too many people mingling in her social space. I'm the opposite. I say, bring em on, the more the merrier! (Things must be pretty boring in DC right now because she's called me all week and twice already today professing to miss me - I sense a hook up when she gets back ;)

That's a wrap. Oh, and here's what the Big Dog is doing now that I brought her in:

Hot Hot Heat

Yeah, so it's a hundred here. Pretty typical summer in the middle of the country. I've always hated the heat, it's way too draining and as it is, my energy level is low so I'm moving at a snail's pace most days.

So let's see, I went to Indiana to visit my dad and sister last weekend. Long drive across Missouri and Illinois - 70 never changes. The trip was as it has been: equal parts depressing/sad and familiar. Seems like every time I go home, I come back with fodder for my therapist. Good times! Spent most of the time fishing with my dad and slowly driving a pontoon around Big Long Lake. There's something oddly relaxing driving a large platform .5 knots/hr - no one ever rushes anywhere on a pontoon. I used to fish quite a bit with my dad and still enjoy it, neither one of us are talkers so we sit there in the sun watching for our bobbers to move, occasionally one of us will whisper "here fishy fishy". It was nice, even though I felt like I consumed 2 cases of Bud Light and had one heck of a sunburn. Still..it feels empty and strange every time I go back.

Other news is that while there, we made an offer on a house in a new town and will be moving the middle of next month. So there's lots to do between now/then. Luckily half the stuff is already packed and the remaining shouldn't take too long. Don't think we won't be hiring guys with a truck to move all our shit. I've moved my own stuff enough times over the years to be done with that. Plus we've got big heavy shit and it will be hot. I have no qualms spending that money. Very excited though about the new place, 2.3 acres on the outskirts of town. Lots of room, even a detached shop. I can't even tell you how excited I am to be back near my peeps. Even though I lived 35 mins away, the drive to/from for visits was annoying and limiting. I will actually be able to entertain again. And cook for more than 2 people! And have good restaurants to go to! And shows! And we won't be living here in this god awful city! Praise the baby jesus!

So last night at 2:15am, I hear guy voices outside our bedroom window. Now, on that side of the house, there's basically an open field and people just don't go traipsing through it, esp at that hour. So the dog barks, I get up, and our motion light goes off and I see this teenager jogging to the road. I go to the front window and the dogs are barking and there are about 4 guys walking down the road. I don't think they were doing anything more than drinking beer and wandering around. I even go outside after they passed to make sure they were headed on down the road and not out slashing tires/stealing hubcaps. I considered calling the cops, but decided they weren't causing any serious trouble and I was young once, sneaking out drinking beer in the middle of the night during the summer. So during this entire event, dogs barking and me checking out the situation, The Agent is snoring. This morning I had to inform my little law enforcement officer that she was seriously sleeping on the job. She was all "why didn't you wake me up!" and truthfully, if I was actually scared of these kids, I would have. But it was no big (other than being slightly startling). She left this morning for two weeks of training in DC so I'm bachloretting it up (hello, cocaine and strippers!). I did ask that she leave one of her Glocks here with me, just in case - you know how I feel about guns in general (well, beyond the fetish!), but I had to admit that I'd rather have it handy than not should something occur in the middle of the night again. Aim high, shoot low..

So what else? I've been listening to lots of Beck lately, Guero. Other stuff. Does anyone really care what's on someone else's iPod? I doubt it, but here's what's been playing tonight on mine:

Romeo and Juliet - Dire Straits
Drive - Melissa Ferrick
Hurt - Johnny Cash
I'll Be You - The Replacements
Ceremony - New Order
Lazy Line Painter Jane - Belle and Sebastian
Blue Veins - The Raconteurs
Black Star - Gillian Welch (awesome cover of Radiohead's song)
17 Days - Prince

and

"Broken Drum"

I see you there
Your long black hair
Your eyes just stare
Your mind is turning

You know I'll laugh
And I won't take it back
I've seen your eyes I know
What your thinking

And one by one
We'll shoot our guns
We'll have fun
Don't ever doubt it

And when I say
Fare thee well
My only friend
Oh how the days go

Your setting sun
Your broken drum
Your little drugs

I'll never forget you
Never
Forget
You - Beck

Tumble Queens